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long distance relationship making me freak out...


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I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown, literally. I am confused, this long distance relationship has been really frustrating more than anything as of late... and there is just so much going on in my life here at home that I just don't know what to do anymore. What do you do when you have days when the idea of dying doesn't startle you? There are times when I talk to them on the phone and they say things like, "I would die without you" or "I need you, I wouldn't be able to go on without you" and I am dealing with thoughts of my own demise that I am one big ball of twisted nerves How do I tell them that I just need a break without making them go into a suicidal downfall?! I don't know what I want right now but I do know that I can't handle a long distant relationship that just adds more unneeded stress to my already extremely stressful life... it's getting to the point where when I actually talk to them on the phone I just feel myself getting more and more overwhelmed, my anxiety flares up and I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing... I don't want to lose them, but I can't do this right now... please, any advice??? ](*,)

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how about stopping the multiple relationships first? that's what I got out of your post...

 

take one dude/dudette at at time?

 

I thought 'they' was just being used instead of he/she, I didn't think there were multiple relationships involved. Am I wrong?

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Why are you finding your long distance relationship more frustrating than usual? You say you don't want to lose them, do you mean as a friend? Or do you mean in a relationship? I think it would be best just to be honest with her about how you're feeling.

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It's just a culmination of things... I've been in out of the hospital multiple times over the past few years. That alone has radically increased my anxiety, depression and Agoraphobia. I'm going to see a therapist and there are days when I'm so overwhelmed that I literally don't want to talk to or see anyone. There was a time when I relied on her... but now I feel myself drifting further and further apart from her (and other people in general) but she says that she doesn't want to live without me and I don't want her doing anything irrational because of me. I do care about her, both romantically (at times) and as a friend, she's one of the few people I can really open up to but she has a tendency to overreact first and think about it afterward. How do I tell her that I really care about her but my emotions and thoughts are just sooo all over the place lately that it's hard enough for me to focus on getting my life back on track let alone how she'll feel and react to me telling her these things... the long distance thing is bothering more because right now I need support... and not from someone who lives 1,000 miles away and I only really talk to once a day on the phone...

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Your therapist would probably be the best person to give advice as they will know more of the details of what's going on in your life.

If you feel as though you need some time out to focus on yourself then I think you should just tell her that. Be as honest as you can be but make sure she knows she hasn't done anything wrong. She may say she needs you and doesn't want to live without you but perhaps it's just words. My ex used to tell me all the time that she wouldn't be able to live without me but then it was her who split up with me! You can try your very best not to hurt your girlfriend but you can't cause yourself more discomfort just because you're afraid how she'll react. I hope that if you do decide to talk to her about it that she tries to understand and doesn't cause you to be more stressed. I'm sorry I couldn't help much but I wish you all the best

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Thank you for your advice... I know it's something I need to do. I know right now I won't but happy with anyone until I'm truly happy with myself. I'm just afraid of the uncertainty of the situation... I care about her and do not want to hurt her, and I feel a bit selfish. but I know that if I don't do this I won't make any progress and I can't keep beating myself up. I have put so much weight on my shoulders, I've tried to make everyone happy, even if it meant making myself miserable.

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Yes, I think your therapist would be able to help a lot..Hopefully. Since you have so many things going on I can imagine how crazy it'd be. Try to deal with things one by one..Make a list of priorities and start from there.

 

Being in a long distant relationship is hard, but two people can really care deeply and love each other from it =) Just try to keep it optimistic..I know it's hard.

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