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Months of NC to friends?


longdist

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I would be interested in hearing stories of people who went from NC to being friends with their ex (not trying to be friends before you are healed). How did it go?

 

I am thinknig about being friends after healing via months of NC. I feel good about everything, except there is still a hole in me where my ex once was. So at the same time, I would add the disclaimer that I would take my ex back if she wanted to come back. Our break was mostly due to being long distance for 4 years (story has been posted before). I'll likely move close in less than a year, not because of her. There was some other stuff involved before the break, where I would start pushing my ex's buttons to say the least (long story). I'd like to start this friendship to show her I'm not that guy. I guess I feel at this point that I would be completely alright wih just being friends, even hearing if she is out on a date. I would just like to get in her good graces again.

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I don't think you are being very realistic, you aren't friends with her, in reality you are still head over heels in love with her. I still think that there is a chance to bond with her as long as you two haven't grown apart or if she still doesn't have another partner. I don't believe for one second you are moving closer to her for other reasons then wanting to be with her, you might think you are but aren't you just deceiving yourself?

 

In any case sure what the hell why not give it a try you two might work out afteral.

 

BUT

 

Make sure you have a backup plan if things don't work out as well as you think they will, and don't fool yourself that you don't need a backup plan because often more then not things do not work out in the way you planned they would and usually take 10 if not 100 times more effort then you initially realised it would. Be carefull not to get hurt son.

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I wouldn't say I'm still head over heels in love with my ex still. It is more that I would want to get back together, but don't feel the need to get back together (which I used to feel). So honestly, yes, I do want to get back together. I think 90%+ of ex friendships start b/c of this. We have not grown apart and I don't know if she has another partner (I don't think it is my place to ask). It really shouldn't matter one way or the other from my standpoint. If she does, then I don't really want to know. If she doesn't, it doesn't matter b/c she still doesn't want to be with me. That is her decision to what she feels right (i.e. if she is seeing someone she should chose not to talk to me, b/c it isn't fair to the new person). Frankly, I think she is so distant from me, that it wouldn't really impact any new relationship for her.

 

Moving close (literally) does have nothing to do with her. Trust me on that one. That is where the job market is for my area of work. I'm currently a student.

 

Oh, I have been working on backup plans. I don't in any way expect a new relationship to start with my ex, so I am assuming it is over. I've already begun dating. If things workout w/ the ex, then great, but I really don't expect them to.

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