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engagement story


mg76

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I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 years. Recently I thought she dropped a big hint about getting engaged. She said instead of pay for something I should save up for an engagement ring. That was about 2 months ago.

 

Shes away at the moment. I bought her a ring. I could not wait to give it to her when she came back. Anyway we chatting online a couple of nights ago. She stated something which worried me, she said she may have leave and go overseas if she cannot find a good job here (she just graduated from masters). I let slip I got that ring (maybe I should have waited til she got back), she then ask me to return it (which I can't no refund), then she ended up buying it from me and transfer the money into my account without even seeing the ring. I did not want her to buy the ring nor tell her the value but she said she will definitely go if I didn't tell her because she felt very uncomfortable about me spending the money on her. I felt so awkward.

 

When I asked about our discussion (she hinted for the ring) she said she didn't expect to buy it so quickly until she settled her future staying here which she says isn't clear. She is an international student. The marriage is not for the "green card" she will most likely get that by herself.

 

Shes coming back in couple of days. I haven't told anyone as I think it is a embarrassing the story. I think I might have misjudged the timing but I just followed my heart. She said she still loves me but could not guarantee our future. If I need to I would follow overseas but have commitments here.

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Gosh mg, that's pretty confusing isn't it? Going on the assumption that your friend is being genuine perhaps she is really just trying to figure things out. You, on the other hand, might do best to keep a 'strong' presence but not clingy. Be willing to let go.

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from what im reading, you need to be point blank with her, you are a romantic, nice one,

but dont set yourself up for a fall, BE STRONG!!!! but ask her outright and any niggles and confusion will be ironed out and you will have a better picture of whats happening.

 

and dont be embarassed about your story! i actually felt for you reading this. not pity!

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Hi-

 

There are absolutely NO guarantees for anyones future. What matters are the intentions. If she loves you and wants to be with you then the intent should be to explore the possibilities of planning a combined path towards the future.

 

Maybe you should have waiting with the ring but what is done is done. I do think it was a bit crude of her to ask you to return it sight unseen.

 

What degree does her have? Would it be that hard for her to find a good job?

 

From what you are saying it seems to me that she isn't really sure about what she wants. What is her level of commitment to the relationship? I think you two need to discuss that before you go running after her.

 

Good luck

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There is nothing to be embarassed about... she said to save for a ring, so you got her a ring.

 

To me, it sounds like she's thought about it more and decided she doesn't want to get engaged because she doesn't want to get married anytime soon. She has other plans for going overseas etc.

 

So it sounds like she is unsure about whether to continue the relationship or not at all. So when you see her, do lots of talking so that you understand where she is coming from and what she wants... Perhaps she has rethought getting married to you and now doesn't want to do it.

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Hi-

 

There are absolutely NO guarantees for anyones future. What matters are the intentions. If she loves you and wants to be with you then the intent should be to explore the possibilities of planning a combined path towards the future.

 

Maybe you should have waiting with the ring but what is done is done. I do think it was a bit crude of her to ask you to return it sight unseen.

 

What degree does her have? Would it be that hard for her to find a good job?

 

From what you are saying it seems to me that she isn't really sure about what she wants. What is her level of commitment to the relationship? I think you two need to discuss that before you go running after her.

 

Good luck

 

She did accounting. The global economy does not help etc etc.... I was going to bake her favourite cheesecake (I never bake) and write on it will you marry me and put the ring on top of the cake.

 

She regularly does say she loves me. Now I think , her level of commitment is in the air. On the chat she said I'll be sad too if I have to go but its the decision I'll need to make. Internet chat is not the best medium to talk about this, unfortunately she brought the topic up on it.

 

Appreciate your replies! I'll keep strong. Although at the moment it is a bit unlikely it would be a great story to tell at wedding, what happen when I first asked her to marry me.

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You seem to be be very attentive and caring.

 

The best thing to do is to have a face-to-face and really lay out all the cards on the table so you can at least end the guessing and assuming game. You need to be open and honest about your expectations, fears and doubts to be able to move forward, one way or the other.

 

Keep us informed!!

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well shes back. Definitely not scare of me or awkward. She says I am a really good guy and committed. She wants me exchange the ring for other jewellery so she can wear it. hahah she did not like the diamond ring she would of kept if she like for maybe later! She said she will tell when she is ready , she repeats she loves me everyday. She said I should have spoken to her in more detail before buying basically way too early. I told her its her job to tell me now.

 

Maybe the best rejection I could expect. No idea her time frames at least I put my cards on the table. We will wait and see.

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