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To those who broke NC after an extended period..


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How did it go?

 

I was just thinking today how dangerous it could be, if I were to break NC after 6 months or so. While time should help me a lot, I really think the things you might confront if you see the ex after extended NC could be pretty horrific.

 

Worst case scenario for me would be the ex is living with the guy she started seeing after dumping me. I don't think I would feel ok about that in 5 years! But you could also find out that leaving you was the best thing that ever happened to them, or find out they don't even respond to your reaching out.

 

How has it gone...for people that broke it after a long period (more than a few months)?

 

Its been 35 days for me and I think whilst hard, its better to never know what happened to my ex, in any area of her life.

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It's sad, hah? The fact that an entire relationship comes down to this cat and mouse game, who will crack first, if anyone.

 

Then it gets too far in for either of you to break it and not feel weak, and so the thoughts, feelings, emotions you both had just drift into the stratosphere, never to be used by either of you again.

 

I think I am already past the point of just being able to rock up and see her one day, I think she would give me a 'what are you doing here?', rather than a "oh my god, I have missed you so much, its so good to see you".

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How do you know by the time all those months are up and you've seriously, really moved on and the relationship seems like a distant memory, that you won't even bother considering breaking NC?

 

I think this is going to happen with me... i don't intend to break it ever and in the months ahead, i will gradually get over him and then finally reach a point where i couldn't care less if we stayed in contact or not, so why make the effort to reach out...

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i broke NC after a yeara and a half...she answered..i just broke NC cause i wanted to see how she was doing. we broke up on the phone and never aw each other again. i thought maybe it would b cool to see her. shw answered back like 4 days later...askeded me a bounch of questions then i replie but never heard form her again its been 5 months or so..she was my firt love now she has a bf and probably doesnt give a rats ass. so sad.. i just wanted to maybe meet up, have a laugh and go on with life...maybe she ll regret it one day..i dont regret contacting her. it acutally helps let you go completely when u do a final contact..it helped me let go of her completely dunno it was a weird feeling!

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It's sad, hah? The fact that an entire relationship comes down to this cat and mouse game, who will crack first, if anyone.

 

for me it's been 1.5 years since my ex brokeup with me and i still think about contacting her! its sad; i know. but im promising myself that im never gonna crack. She got the better of me once, but there's no way she's gonna get me twice

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Yeah and what is worse as I encountered yesterday in my thread is accidental breaking of NC by bumping into them...it messed my head up for the night..

 

get out that list noting what was WRONG with the relationship when you go down these philosophical roads....BUYER BEWARE!

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I dont see breaking NC that bad if some conditions are met.

 

a) Both have understood why everything happened and have accepteed the situation

b) Feelings have cooled down and there is no desire to try again

c) Break-up and the relationship was so healthy that there werent any abuses etc. It just was not meant to be.

 

Actually it can be very refreshing and help you to understand that break up doesnt necessarily mean eternal hatred and grief. Relationships start, they reform and sometimes they end. It is not in our hands and therefore I feel its kinda silly to ignore some person out of your life who was good to you, loved you. And probably still do a bit.

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How did it go?

 

 

How has it gone...for people that broke it after a long period (more than a few months)?

 

Its been 35 days for me and I think whilst hard, its better to never know what happened to my ex, in any area of her life.

 

It's been almost five months for me of NC and sometimes I passingly think of breaking it, but never seriously. The question I keep coming back to is "What's the point?"

 

I'll still be the girl with the broken heart and he'll still be the guy who just didn't care and treated me terribly. Have things changed for me? Definitely. But what hasn't changed is that I deserved better than what I got from him and he's never going to give it to me. If he ever does, it will be because he seeks me out; not me seeking him out. So even if I still love him or care about him or whatever you want to call it, what's the point?

 

and even if he did seek me out, my pride would say no way, buster. I'm not going through this again.

 

35 days is good progress but eventually you will get to the point where there's just zero desire to contact them again, even if there is desire to have them in your life. you start to want things on your own terms.

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I texted a song that my ex loved to her after 3 years and a month NC and she naturally did not respond nor did I expect any type of acknowledgement either. I think after some time apart, you do things in a one-way fashion not ecpecting anything out of it. It's actually kind of a nice validation that you are really over it.

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