Paddy084 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Hi All. Need a bit of advice as I feel I'm geeting weak and really want to break NC. Briefly my ex of 8.5 years broke up with me 5 weeks ago. Since then I sent her two letters and thats all the contact that has been made between both of us.....no text, call, letter or even email from her. In the last letter I sent to her just over a week ago I mentioned it would be nice to meet her someday soon for even just a catch up, but still no response from her. I initially started NC in the hope that she would miss me and get back in touch, but that obviously hasn't happened. I really want to call her but I'm afraid. I dont know if its the right thing to do or not, I dont even know what I would say. I really think if I stick with NC I could deffinately lose her forever, I feel I should stand up and fight for her, she is the love of my life, so why should I stick to NC and make me feel as if each day that goes by she is slipping further and further away and forgetting about me, but I do realise NC is not all about winning them back, its about making us stronger again. 5 weeks has passed without even a text from her, I know there is never a time limit to getting back in contact, but is this the right time for me or should I wait for her to contact me...but then what if she doesnt? I just need advice on what to do cause I really want to talk to her again. Thanks All for any advice you can offer me. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Do you feel worse now for sending the letters and not getting a reply? Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 This is why no contact is so important, the fact that you have taken the time to sit down and pour your heart out and get no reply is gut wrenching. She will not forget about you, you need to give her time and space. Getting in contact wii push her further away, i have first hand experience of this with my ex unfortunately. Try to be strong, do not contact her again, save yourself from more rejection. The ball is in her court now. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 After 8.5 years, and only 5 weeks ago - there's NO WAY she's forgotten about you. However, continuing to contact her, sadly, is not likely to make her want to see you - sending letters even though she hasn't replied will just make you seem needy and desperate. 'Standing up and fighting for her' is actually more likely to drive her away. Spare yourself more heartache by not contacting her again. Your efforts to date have not brought the desired result, and there's no reason to think they will in the future. I really feel for you in all this pain, but continuing to pull off the scab will not help your healing process. (((HUGE HUGS))) Link to comment
Paddy084 Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Getting in contact wii push her further away, i have first hand experience of this with my ex unfortunately. Hi Tupilsfav. Can I just ask you when you say that you have first hand experience of this situation. Do you mean that you have experience from this as the dumper or the dumpee? And in the letters I never really poured my heart out to her I just told her that I feel that it is possible to bring the love and romance back, I fell I can relight the spark of passion again, I know where things went wrong. (Read the last thread I started for a better description of my situation) I told her that im sorry I couldnt give her the happiness she is obviously looking for and hopes she finds it one day. There was no begging or pleading to come back. Just a simple 'I do miss you'. Link to comment
cl76 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 When can you contact your ex? When you don't care if you reconcile or not anymore. In other words, when you've done a lot of work on yourself and you're ready to move on. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Hi Tupilsfav. Can I just ask you when you say that you have first hand experience of this situation. Do you mean that you have experience from this as the dumper or the dumpee? And in the letters I never really poured my heart out to her I just told her that I feel that it is possible to bring the love and romance back, I fell I can relight the spark of passion again, I know where things went wrong. (Read the last thread I started for a better description of my situation) I told her that im sorry I couldnt give her the happiness she is obviously looking for and hopes she finds it one day. There was no begging or pleading to come back. Just a simple 'I do miss you'. Hi Paddy, yeah i was the dumpee Myself and my ex were going to remain friends, didnt happen. I was texting him, telling him how much i missed him. Have had no contact from him in 7 weeks. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Hi, me again, have just read your other posts, you really are having a tough time. 8.5 years is a long time, can understand though why you want to get in contact with her. Did you ever discuss your feelings of depression? Link to comment
spook Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Guys. NC. Yeah? Join the NC challenge. Contacting your ex makes you look weak and desperate. Why do we like diamonds? Because they are rare!!! Link to comment
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