Ms.Lady Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 How pathetic am I? I keep cyber stalking him on myspace and facebook to see what he's doing. I see that in his comments that he's leaving town and moving to another state in a couple of months to be a manager at a store. In a sense I'm happy for him and it makes me a little sad to know that he'll even be more further away from me. Any chances of us getting back together has now been shot to hell think this is the main reason why he detached himself from me because he knew he was about to leave me In a state of anxiety I called him again. I know it was a mistake. He answered and he was very cold with me. I told him that I was hurt that he couldn't tell me that he was moving. He acted uninterested in anything I had to say, all he could say was oh.. I'm sorry in a very nonchalant matter. He was telling me that there was nothing here for him and that he needed to get away from the stress in his life. It hurts me to hear him say that because he just told me that I'm basically nothing to him. I was like what about me?? What about us? Aren't you going to miss what we had and he had nothing to say. What strikes me as odd is that he said he was going to talk to his ex girlfriend. She's a realtor in the same town where he's moving to and she's going to help him with everything. That flashed in my face that they're trying to get back together and he's probably going to stay with her. When I heard that my heart dropped to the ground. He didn't say they were getting back together but it's all making sense to me now why he was distant in the last month of the relationship. He's probably going to give that relationship another chance. So in a cold manner he told me that I need to let him go and move on with my life and that he wishes me the best. He basically told me he was driving and that he needed to focus on the road.. He said goodbye and he clicked off so fast that I couldn't say goodbye back. I'm so hurt the way he treated me with so little disregard!! I know he's going to get back with his ex.They have so much more history than we did. They were high school sweethearts and they dated for years.She was pregnant for him in high school and she miscarried. I was always a little jealous of the history they had. Maybe I was just the rebound girl because when we first started talking, he just got out of a relationship with her because she was leaving to go to the town he's about to move to. I take it that he's been talking to her the whole time while he was with me and they reconciled and now they're going to move in together.. I don't understand how he could be so loving in the beginning and treat me like dirt at the end. This isn't fair, I never get the happiness that I want. I just found out that my best friend is leaving me as well, because during the summer, she's leaving to go to school. I'm so scared that I'm going to be even more alone now. I feel like everyone is leaving me in the dust and I'm just forgotten. How am I going to accept these changes in my life? It's going to be a long time before I feel happy again.. I know that.. I'm unemployed,depressed and alone and I know life moves on but I'm so confused now. I feel like moving or just going someplace where no one knows me. I need a change in my life! I'm filled with worry. I don't know what I'm going to do I'm so depressed... Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Awww hun! *hugs* He sounds so fake and pathetic. This is why rebounds are never a good idea, even though it looks like it is. It hurts everyone in it, especially the reboundee. I'm sure you have other friends who you can talk to, and I'm sure you have a family that loves you so much. We are here for you as well. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 Awww hun! *hugs* He sounds so fake and pathetic. This is why rebounds are never a good idea, even though it looks like it is. It hurts everyone in it, especially the reboundee. I'm sure you have other friends who you can talk to, and I'm sure you have a family that loves you so much. We are here for you as well. I have family and friends that are here but it's like they're not emotionally there for me. I know they can't baby me and hug me 24/7.. but a little compassion would be nice. Everyone just tells me and I'll be fine, get over it but nobody wants to listen to me.My own mother keeps telling me that I need to stop being such a weakling and get some strength. Something I'm not trying to hear right now. My brain just can't even process the thought of my ex and his ex getting a place together laughing and sleeping together and being happy. It makes me nauseated thinking about it. They get to be happy, HE gets to be happy and yet I'm the one left in the dirt? Left in the cold depressed. I don't get it? God must treats my life like such a joke. I just never seem to get happiness. Bad things always happen to me.. He treated my feelings with so little disregard.. I wonder if he ever cared about me at all? It hurts that he doesn't even have any compassion for me. I would feel better if he at least been truthful,apologized, said he was sorry and he meant it. But he can't even do that.. All he could do was sit there listen to me talk.With his fake sorry responses, I could tell he didn't even mean them. I'm just so hurt and angry!! What a heartless jerk! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 I hear you on that, babe. Right now, as much as you want him to atleast apologize, just move on. Living well is the best revenge. And I know how family/friends can be very... unhelpful sometimes. But the good news it that atleast you have ENA and the people here, like me, who do care for you and want to give you as much advices and comfort that we can. You will get through this. I must ask; How long were they together, and how long was the time apart between them before he met you? How long were you two together? Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 I hear you on that, babe. Right now, as much as you want him to atleast apologize, just move on. Living well is the best revenge. And I know how family/friends can be very... unhelpful sometimes. But the good news it that atleast you have ENA and the people here, like me, who do care for you and want to give you as much advices and comfort that we can. You will get through this. I must ask; How long were they together, and how long was the time apart between them before he met you? How long were you two together? Thank you for being there for me it means a lot. They were together since High school,10th grade and we're all 24 now. Me and my ex were together for 8 months and I fell for him instantly. When we first met, his relationship ended with her 4 months before we met. My thing is he was the one who pursued me, he was the one who told me to open my heart and to trust him. Making all these promises that he would never hurt it me. Yet he did.. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Thank you for being there for me it means a lot. They were together since High school,10th grade and we're all 24 now. Me and my ex were together for 8 months and I fell for him instantly. When we first met, his relationship ended with her 4 months before we met. My thing is he was the one who pursued me, he was the one who told me to open my heart and to trust him. Making all these promises that he would never hurt it me. Yet he did.. Did his ex girlfriend broke up with him? Guys usually go for rebounds when they are hurt intensely by their ex girlfriends. Of course he's going to demand you opening your heart to him- His ex won't open her's to him! Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 Did his ex girlfriend broke up with him? Guys usually go for rebounds when they are hurt intensely by their ex girlfriends. Of course he's going to demand you opening your heart to him- His ex won't open her's to him! She broke up with him. I should have known from the beginning that he wouldn't be completely over her,not after 4 months. I think now all he was doing was using me to get over her which obviously failed. I just hate this feeling. I don't think he cared at all about me.. He used me.. I even told him the the beginning that I don't want to rush anything with him and that he needed time to get over her. All he could tell me was that he's been over her and all he thinks about is me.. What a fool I was for falling so quickly.. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 She broke up with him. I should have known from the beginning that he wouldn't be completely over her,not after 4 months. I think now all he was doing was using me to get over her which obviously failed. I just hate this feeling. I don't think he cared at all about me.. He used me.. I even told him the the beginning that I don't want to rush anything with him and that he needed time to get over her. All he could tell me was that he's been over her and all he thinks about is me.. What a fool I was for falling so quickly.. Honey, that's what break ups are all about sometimes; Denial. Guys are famous for this especially. We are in a society where guys can't be a "whimp" about things, especially over a break up. They are told to man up and be strong, even be mean about it. It's just how things are today, sadly... I am so sorry you are objected to this. Someday, you will find an amazing man who will love you so much you won't even believe why you were so upset about this looking back. I know everything is gonna be okay. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 I am so sorry you are objected to this. Someday, you will find an amazing man who will love you so much you won't even believe why you were so upset about this looking back. I know everything is gonna be okay. I hope I will find a man that will love me completely one day It's going to be a long time before I'm happy, I know that. I'm just too overwhelmed to smile now. I have to sit here and worry about my ex being with the woman he truly love, far away from me. I'm unemployed and I can't find a job for sh*t. Which makes for very lonely and depressing days.Money is short and I'm wondering how I'm going to make it in these next couple of months. My best friend is leaving to go to another town. The one friend that was there for me through all of this.. I don't feel like living.. This is too much for me.. Suicide seems like a good way to go. I just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.. I'm scared. I don't know if I will ever find another guy. Men hardly pay attention to me at all.I don't really have money to do anything, I can't go out much because everything requires money. I'm vigorously trying to find another job.. Sigh I don't know what I'm going to do. Link to comment
spazmy Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 MS Lady, you have to stay strong through all this. Firstly, you are so young. I know things are a bit overwhelming for you right now. However, take heart. If you are so unhappy, your ex cannot be too happy about what he is doing either. Based on my experiences, what I have seen is that when people leave to be with another, things do not necessarily work out in the long run. When trust is compromised at such a level in any human relationship, that compromise comes to haunt people in the longer term. It may take a few months, it may take a year, it may take more than that. But eventually, the pain and guilt people bury away catches up with them. In such a sense, see your present as a moment of strength. YOU are the one who is battling the situation. YOU are the one who is staying on in town. YOU are the one who has the courage to go look for a job. YOU are the one who is dealing with life, with real issues. I promise you, that if you fight like a tiger to get a job, to battle your loneliness, to become a strong self-willed individual through this pain, YOU will be the one who will find happiness and love, not him. Don't give up. Mark my words. Keep fighting. Try not to think of him. Embrace life and its uncertainties. As there are difficult moments, there will be happy times too. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 I will try me best to stay strong, It's just overwhelming to me and I just can't take all of these changes at once. There's just so many thoughts running through my mind as to what I should do. I know my main focus now should be to find a job and I'm trying really hard to do that. Now I feel like I want to move to another location, this town is just filled with too many bad memories for me. It's odd, I didn't know my ex for very long but I felt like I knew him a lifetime. He was always there for me and he was the only person who I felt understood me throughout it all. Now that he changed, I feel the ultimate betrayal. I don't know how I will overcome this but I will find a way. I'm just so confused about everything in my life right now and I have no one to turn to. I'm scared.. Link to comment
Ms.Lady Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Today I'm feeling better.. Just it feels so empty. It's like I have to start my life over from scratch.. Link to comment
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