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Is this a bad sign?


imjustagirl

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So I've been with my job hopping bf for 2 years, lived with him for 1 year. He's had countless jobs in the past 2 years and is now unemployed but actively looking for work. But this job hopping is not nessecarily because of the economy, he has been like this ever since he got into the work force like 12 years ago and he is now 30.

I've decided to move out because I need stability in my life and it's so clear he can't give that to me. I want this to be a wake up call for him that he needs to get it together. And his friends and family know that this is happening, and they are pretty much on my side. Is this a bad sign? Shouldn't they be sticking up for him? I mean I guess I AM making the right decision even though it kills me to do it.

I don't know what to do though because I love him with all my heart but he has even said that he doesn't know if he can give me what I need. I feel like he is just giving up! How can he be like this? I know the guy loves me deeply but I find it so hard to understand that he can just give up like this.

What should I do? I'm moving out but what else can I do? I have helped him so much, got him a sweet job with my company which didn't work out, I have encouraged him and supported him and I feel like I just can't do anymore. Am I wrong? Will he change or do I need to move on with my life? Please help.

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I know exactly, i can't make him grow up or change. I just don't understand why he can't do this for me. I mean, for HIM and for me. He loves me and says he will try to do whatever I want him to, but why does it have to come down to this? Maybe he's just not a motivated person. I don't think i am asking for too much here. I honestly cannot see a future of marriage and kids to a guy who can't hold down a job. But I stay because I love him so much and he is so emotionally there for me. He's faithful and thoughtful and those things are just so huge. I feel like I'll never find another guy who has these incredible qualities like he does. He cares for me so much and I care about him so much. This sucks!

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There's no right or wrong answer here, it's just what you're willing to tolerate and where you draw the line.

 

I had a boyfriend for 3 years that did this, and although there were other factors contributing to our breakup, this was a huge one. I'm highly motivated and have a great work ethic, and he was one of those "I want to live my life, not give it to the man!" types who refused to work more than 10 hours a week, meaning we couldn't afford to live anywhere but our 400 square foot studio apartment. I couldn't take it, but it really depends on what you want to do! In the end, it's your decision.

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