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Need to stop communicating/caring for my ex-gf, even though she was horrible to me


planetnomis
How to Forgive Yourself for Wasting...
How to Forgive Yourself for Wasting Time

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I am a university student. I dated my girlfriend for pretty much the whole first semester and a little bit after. She started to seem very lazy and uninterested in me, and stopped showing up for classes, and I tried to tutor her and help her with her schoolwork, which she agreed to, but she didnt seem to care.

 

We broke up because we were supposed to meet for a date, but she lied about her whereabouts multiple times, then finally said she just didnt feel like seeing me, so I got mad and ended the relationship. I feel a bit guilty about this part, but her lack of interest and care combined with the lying made it the last straw.

 

We had sex once before we broke up, and she told me it was her first time. It was my first time having sex. I was 21 years old, she was 18. She told me she loved me and that she had never been with a guy before. She would always tell me how she was a virgin and how she wanted to lose her virginity to me, and how special I was to her. Because we were together, I believed everything she said to me. She told me she was bisexual in highschool, and had once been 'dildoed' by a girl, but told me I had to keep this a secret. She said I must've thought she was horrible for being bi, but I told her it was OK and thanked her for being honest. I was always supportive, honest and kind to her. I kept a secret for something that wasnt true at all: she was never bi, and the story was fake. And she sure wasnt a virgin. In fact, she lost her virginity when she was 13 (gag) and had casual sex at parties during highschool. She told me this after we broke up and it devastated me, because it made me realize that, while she told me she loved me, at the same time all she did was lie to my face over and over again. It ruined any good memories I had of us together, and made me want to puke. It kept me up at night and made me wonder if I got an STD or something from her. ( I didn't) She doesnt understand how her lying and dishonesty hurts me. I didnt care that she wasnt a virgin, but the dishonesty filled me with rage! She also got her friend to harass me via textmessage over and over again, because I tried to convince her to show up for her classes, since she stopped showing up and acted all weird. She got annoyed at me because of this and got her friend to verbally attack me with texts. Her friends denied her problems for along time. I figured out who the texter was, but she denied it was him (he even admitted it was him) Her friends are immature and probably not helping her.

 

It ends up she later discovered she was suffering from depression, and had to withdraw from school because of her emotional problems. (Depression does crazy things to people, and makes you isolate yourself from loved ones and lose interest in everyday things) She sees a therapist and is on medication now. I can't stop talking to her and making sure that she is okay, because I feel sorry for her, and for some stupid reason I still love her. After we broke up, I consoled her about her depression, helped her with red tape at school, supportivem etc. and she treated me like crap. She would only use me if she needed something, because she knew I would do it. Now she has become really sick, and is in the hospital for reasons I do not know (it might have to do with her appendix). I am worried about her even though she treats me like crap. I just can't seem to stop talking to her and thinking about her even though she is awful and mean to me. I think in my mind, I just wish things were better.

 

Sorry about the long post but what should I do? I feel so restless and empty, and meeting someone else is something that does not happen to me very often. What should I do to forget about someone I cared about who turned into an abusive person?

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I know what you're going through, and my only advice is to just cut off any communication with her. No more talking, no more calling, texting, etc. Stay away from her friends, they sound pathetic. Just stay out of her way. I know it's hard as hell, but you have to do this for yourself.

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