How to handle this? any help?

[faithful14]

I really need some advice on how to handle this situation. My parents got divorced about 4 years ago just as I was entering college and it was agreed upon that my brother and I would go live with my mom while my dad moved out and got his own place. My parents didn't end on that great of terms, they still talk to each other but they're not exactly friends.

 

So two weeks ago, my dad said he was moving to another place which is 40 minutes away from where I live now and he asked if i wanted to go live with him. I would like to move in with my dad but I don't want to move 40 minutes away. It would mean a longer drive and being far away from school, my job, my friends, my boyfriend...basically everything.

 

So my question is how to gently put it to my dad that while I'm flattered by his offer, I don't want to move away. I'm scared he'll get upset and think I'm choosing my mom over him which is not the reason why

[lavenderdove]

You're 21, right? Tell him that you're planning on moving out on your own soon anyway (which you should be), so moving twice in the near future seems like too much upheaval for everyone.

 

Then immediately make some plans to spend some more time with him so he doesn't feel rejected. Offer to cook dinner at his new place, or help him decorate it etc.

[CallingAllAngels]

I would give him all the reasons that you gave us. Keep in close contact with him after he moves via the phone and make it a point to visit more often if your schedule allows.

[tulipsfav]

I think your Dad will understand, explain to him that it is far away. Tell him that you would miss your friends, boyfriend and the relationship with your brother. You could always suggest staying over at the weekends maybe. I really think your dad will understand.

[faithful14]

thanks for the advice everyone. I talked to him about it and he was cool with me not wanting to move.