Girl wants EX Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 I dated a guy but the relationship "aborted". We knew online, very good talking for 1 month before meeting, we were excited for each other. We seemed compatible. Then we met, for first 2 weeks, we went out frequently. He was still very excited for me, me too,quite into him. But one day in the 3rd week, I acted controlling and clingy, he was turned off completely, and dumped me after 1 month we met. When I think back, he did nothing inappropriate (perhaps except for talking about our future too soon, like mentioning moving together, picturing marriage), he was afterall the perfect boyfriend material. Our relationship can't go further, I think I was the main reason: I didn't know how to be confident and be continuously attractive in a relationship. Also, things went too fast between us in the first 2 weeks. We were acting like we were already exclusive: we did things like a real couple, we had conversations like a real couple. I'm wondering, if the relationship went too fast, without getting to know each other well, how it would affect the success of a new relationship? btw, we are from different cultures. I want to learn from this failure. Link to comment
Alezia Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Hum, I don't know. All my relationships were exclusive very fast (within 1 or 2 dates) but they were with acquaintances / friends not online dating. Nothing on marriage, moving etc... either but dating with exclusivity. On average, they lasted 2 years each, so no I don't think it had much of an effect =S. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Well i know from my experience my relationship went to fast. It lasted 5months. He iniated the whole meet the parents thing after 2weeks. I do now know that if i am lucky enough to be in another relationship i will definitely be taking it very slow. Good luck Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 I didn't mention about future. It was him bringing it up, put that "fantasy" in my mind, then he left... Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Any other opinions? Link to comment
flash83 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 well you said it yourself .. you became controlling and clingy.. 2 big nonos to guys. may i ask how you acted in this way? Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Once it took me half day to be able to reach him, and he told me he never had the ring on, so he would only call back if he saw the incoming call. I disagreed with his way, especially he didn't have a land line. I found that was bothering, and questioned him why not having the ring on.... Also, if I couldn't reach him or he didn't reply me soon enough, I panic... Just thinking about how I acted, I am so not pround of myself.......... Link to comment
flash83 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Once it took me half day to be able to reach him, and he told me he never had the ring on, so he would only call back if he saw the incoming call. I disagreed with his way, especially he didn't have a land line. I found that was bothering, and questioned him why not having the ring on.... Also, if I couldn't reach him or he didn't reply me soon enough, I panic... Just thinking about how I acted, I am so not pround of myself.......... yeah its easy to panic when people don't reply as fast as we would like or if they don't reply at all. a half day is nothing .. i would have days where i would work till 6, have a cooking class at 7, then a hockey game at 930 .. then im dead tired. on other days replace class with tennis, or catching up on my shows etc .. im not there 24/7 to reply to messages or talk on the phone. i need time to myself and most guys need it too. Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 yes, you are right. i know. but before that happened, we messaged each other every 1-2 hours, so half day was long compared with the pace of every 1-2 hours. when i did NC with him, 2 weeks seemed shorter than that half day. lol.... Link to comment
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