LonelyTears77 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Ok so I'm home from the military and will be leaving again 6/2010 for one yr. Now my boyfriend of 2 years and I just moved into our 1st apt a month ago, since then he's actually slept here 3 times the most, he's always at home with his mom, his excuse is the apt is too far of a drive and he doesn't wanna drive all the time. He just got a great promotion at work and works 10hr shifts and I'm in school during the time I'm home, which is great but now i have 3 weeks off, i'd expect he'd want to spend as much time with me as possible but nope when he's at work he doesn't call, he texts all day however but no call, i see him once a week now and we do nothing but argue about it and still no change, i know he isn't cheating and neither am i. But i am giving up, he's about to have a vacation and go to mexico with his cousin, which sucks because I'm off from school so we should be able to spend time together. Nope! He says I'm too demanding, but i feel i should be able to see my man more than once a week and not communicate just through text messages. Any advice Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 If you live together and see eachohter once a week I find this very odd. You need to sit him down and talk to him properly. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Was he like this before you both decided to move in together? And, how long have you known each other? Link to comment
LonelyTears77 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 Actually before we moved in together i was always at his home, but it's as if we are strangers throughout the week and then he see's me on one of his days off (he has 3) and everything is perfect, when we are fighting and arguing about not seeing each other he says it's because the new apt is so far and his mom house is closer and he tells me "when I'm in his arms " it'll all be better. And its right, when we together everything is fine, no fighting no nothing but for some reason it's as if he'd rather do sooo much than be with me. It's so weird. Oh and we've known each other for about 3 years Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Are you absolutely sure that he is not cheating? Link to comment
LonelyTears77 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 Yeah I'm sure he's not cheating. I randomally look through his cell phone online, his text messages, and all his outgoing calls, even emails and things like that. His schedule adds up, no lapse or unaccounted for periods of time, everything just makes sense, when i mention us seperating he gets angry and tells me how much he loves me and doesn't want that, but when i cry and cry about leaving him he'll say i am not being fair and he works a lot and if I leave he will always be there for me, its so weird, i know he recently said he was tired of me threatening to leave him and he also said he wanted some space because we keep arguing about this. I'm so confused. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Yeah I'm sure he's not cheating. I randomally look through his cell phone online, his text messages, and all his outgoing calls, even emails and things like that. His schedule adds up, no lapse or unaccounted for periods of time, everything just makes sense, when i mention us seperating he gets angry and tells me how much he loves me and doesn't want that, but when i cry and cry about leaving him he'll say i am not being fair and he works a lot and if I leave he will always be there for me, its so weird, i know he recently said he was tired of me threatening to leave him and he also said he wanted some space because we keep arguing about this. I'm so confused. Hmmm... why are you snooping into his private emails, cell phone & his stuff? It is a sign of complete mistrust. I won't blame him if he chooses to want some space from you. Nobody likes a person who snoops into his private stuff without him knowing about it. Also, if you were able to snoop in, chances is that he had nothing to hide from you. Hence, he left his email, cell phone & his stuff lying open. A person who is cheating would turn it off in your presence. Link to comment
LonelyTears77 Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 I have nothing but trust for him, my reason for looking is simply because most ppl who hear my situation suspects he's cheating and that's not it... Link to comment
Pappers Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 how bout joining him in Mexico? although watch out for the flu... Link to comment
doityourself Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 I know that when my H would leave on duty, I would start seperating myself from him before he left. He would be gone for atleast 6 months at a time. (Navy) When your gone for so long that person has to learn how to be without you. Maybe hes trying to put up a string front so you wont feel bad about leaving. I would talk to him and make sure that he is still on the same page regarding being together and then explain how hes been making you feel. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 In my opinion, LDR seldom works. It takes A LOT of commitment to keep it going & after a while, one person must choose to move to the other person. Talking does help for a while & even long distance calling too but before going thru all that pain, there should be a discussion as to how to get together permanently. If not, it is better to cut the losses & move on to find someone near & real. Link to comment
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