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Hi all - Could use some advice


illogical21
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?

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Hi all,

 

Just looking for some objective feedback on a situation I'm going through:

 

I recently (6 weeks ago) broke up with my GF of 5 months. There were a few reasons, the primary one being that she was essentially not over her ex (or at least the life provided by him). In short, I had to eventually end things because I was feeling very envious of the feelings she had for him, I wasn't getting the emotional/physical affection I needed, and I was constantly being picked apart by her, and it just effed with my confidence and ego. It sucked because i put in 110% and I wanted what I couldn't have.

 

That being said, this relationship was kind of the 'perfect storm' of sorts, in that it occurred at the right time in my life where it really affected me, and brought to the surface some truths about my own insecurities and weaknesses that I feel need to be addressed. I've spent the last 6 weeks architecting a plan to 'evolve' my life and address these issues based on the fallout of this relationship - which honestly has proven to be a fantastic motivational 'kick in the butt' for which I am very grateful.

 

So here's the issue: I feel (and I think she did as well) that we had a lot of potential, but given the timing and circumstances, there was no way for it to really have a shot. I know I have some 'growing up' to do, and she certainly has to work out her feelings towards her ex, etc. Part of me subscribes to the no contact method of just getting completely over this - and that's pretty much what I've been doing (we've had very limited contact - no calls, texts, visits, just maybe 3 or 4 friendly exchanges on facebook). I try very hard not to initiate anything, and given my bruised ego, I'm careful not to reach out from a place of weakness. The other part of me is really curious of how things could / might be a few months down the line when I'm where I feel I need to be, and she hopefully is emotionally available for a relationship.

 

I'm guessing this is pretty natural, I'm just not sure how to (or if I even should) leave the door open for that *possible* 'end game' while still distancing myself so i can truly be 'over her' so if that time does come, I can approach it from a healthy state of mind.

 

Sorry if this is a bit too cerebral Thanks in advance for any advice.

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