Anxiety

[JohnnyJr]

I know most men get nervous when talking to good looking women.

 

Does it work both ways? Are girls afraid to talk to some guys simply because they are afraid of rejection?

 

Is this a DUH question?

[COtuner]

It's a major DUH question. Of course it works both ways for a lot of people. I myself am nervous about talking to good looking men who I have an interest in dating.... good looking men in general, no, I have no problems with that at all. One of my best buddies turns heads all the time (women and gay men both!) and I've never been anything but completely comfortable with him from day 1.

[Roberto34]

It's a major DUH question. Of course it works both ways for a lot of people. I myself am nervous about talking to good looking men who I have an interest in dating.... good looking men in general, no, I have no problems with that at all. One of my best buddies turns heads all the time (women and gay men both!) and I've never been anything but completely comfortable with him from day 1.

 

Yeah, once I'm into a girl, it becomes hard as Hell to even talk with her...I'm sure some women have the same issue.

 

I can talk to any woman, but once I'm into her, it's hard to talk to her. It's really frustrating, haha...

[Night Pumpkin]

Women have anxiety that no suitable man will come up and talk to them...

 

Men are anxious about being rejected...women are anxious that no one will come and choose them and love them for a lifetime...

[quirky]

I wouldn't start flirting with a really good looking guy for these reasons:

1)I'd think I don't stand a chance

2)He's already getting a lot of attention and I don't wanna be one of many

3)I can't relate, I don't feel comfortable dating someone really good looking (I speak from experience)I used to be very overweight as a teenager and I have compassion for people that look imperfect. Some exceptionally good looking people have hardly ever experienced rejection based on looks and from my experience I found them more shallow like they hadn't looked into themselves enough or something.

4)As a woman, seeing how much attention my guy was getting for his beaty I felt insecure

[JohnnyJr]

So is there no hope for a guy who has the looks but isn't interested in the shallowness of an appearance based relationship? Every time I get somewhere with a girl who I like for who she is one of two things happens. She either accuses me of being player and havin other girls, or I try to make sure she knows shes the only one I am interested in at the moment and I smother her.

[g84]

^ Of course not. I'm not sure if maybe i've misunderstood what you mean.. but if a girl finds you very attractive, it's possible that she might be a bit nervous around you, but this won't mean that you won't be able to connect with eachother or that she will become distant from you. edit: oops i see that you added to what you wrote. Well, i guess those girls were feeling very insecure, and maybe were afraid that you would be receiving lots of attention from other girls as well, but not every girl will respond that way or accuse you of being a player. Keep being yourself and being honest with your intentions, I don't think you have to worry.

[Seko]

To say there is no hope is a little dramatic...however,yes, I am ultra cautious of men who are good looking/fit/very charming because I figure they know they can get whomever they want and a lot of men will take full advantage. I think a lot of women who are looking for a relationship won't really bother smiling and flirting unless the guy approaches because they don't want to be one of many. However, I am kind of like the female version of this - the only men that bother to approach me are players or whatever...presumably because I make other guys nervous and intimidated (honestly, I don't get it but I get told this a lot)...so maybe I'm jaded.

[ghost69]

So is there no hope for a guy who has the looks but isn't interested in the shallowness of an appearance based relationship? Every time I get somewhere with a girl who I like for who she is one of two things happens. She either accuses me of being player and havin other girls, or I try to make sure she knows shes the only one I am interested in at the moment and I smother her.

 

i don't smother girls...even gfs. they know i'm into them and i treat women well, but not smother. i get accused of being a player all the time. or i look like i'd be a cocky jerk. they usually tell me this after talking to me because they are surprised.