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Our EX'S perspective! "How My Ex is Wrong For Me..."

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Here is a twist on Vertigo's "My ex is wrong for me because..."


This thread is about how we think OUR EXES would answer the question about us! So just imagine for a second that all of our exes joined this forum and decided to make a list about 5-10 things that they don't like about us. What do you think they might say?


Here's what my ex might say:


1. She was too demanding. When I was going through a stressful time in my life, she expected too much attention from me, that I was unable to give.


2. She didn't take good enough care of her body. I tried to encourage her to lose weight for her own health but she wouldn't listen. When I'd suggest new styles or certain outfits she should try, she'd get all upset. She should have been more open-minded.


3. I didn't like her eating habits. At first I didn't mind but it got boring whenever she'd order the same thing over and over again at a restauraunt. I'd try to get her to try new foods but she refused. I want someone I can cook for, who I can travel with. If she won't try new foods, she's going to be missing out on a lot.


4. She got laid off and became depressed. She could have substitute taught but she really hated it and made such a big deal about how much she didn't want to. It really brought me down. I was depressed too so this extra stress was just too much for me to deal with and I didn't need it at all.


5. She didn't like videogames very much and wasn't good at them either. I need someone who can keep up with me. I bought games I thought she would like so we could play together but she was rarely interested. It's very important to me that my woman is gamer geek.


6. She wasn't adventurous enough in the sack. Yeah, she was dam# good but she couldn't really embrace her sexuality to the fullest. She needed too much reassurance. I want a woman who is comfortable in her skin, who can take control without prodding or permission from me.


7. She didn't challenge me enough. I need a strong woman who can put me in my place. My ex tolerated behavior from me that she didn't deserve. She was too passive and didn't stand up for herself. That made me lose respect for her. I expect someone to kick my butt when I need it kicked but she was just too accepting, too nice. I couldn't help but take her for granted!



Your turn! Step into the ex's shoes and examine how we must have looked to them.

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I thought I wouldn't be able to say this out loud for a long time, that it's somehow a secret, but..


My ex SHOULD say:


I'm still young and figuring this life out, but when I started to question in this relationship, in myself and perhaps made some not so wise decisions, she was not there for me, she did not try to understand me, she never forgave me and she didn't appreaciate me anymore.. That is not how love is supposed to feel. So I don't want to love her anymore either.


I'm gonna now cry my eyes out our get very drunk

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*These are things that she either told me or that I picked upon*


1) He seems too "well read". I can't keep up with him, his vocabulary and his different sense of humour and wit. He is better travelled and more street-wise than I am and I feel inferior in some ways.


2) Too shy sometimes, especially in an intimate sense. I just wish he would be more confident in himself.


3) He texts me everyday and tells me how beautiful I am, or how he misses me etc etc. I feel bad because I can't always reply to him and probably need somebody who is less into me so to speak.


4) He doesn't have the degree that my in-laws want for my kids future dad to have. He is also not Catholic nor Hispanic and what if they don't like him, his cultural background etc etc?? What do I do then???


5) What if he realises everything about me? I sometimes think I don't deserve him. Nothing is ever too much trouble for him and I don't think I can live up to that in terms of commitment.


6) He tries so hard and I just don't have the time for him right now.


7) Half the time, he is so calm and passive that I don't know whether he cares, or if he really is as tolerant and patient as he seems? What if he didn't care? Or what if he did and I abused that? He hasn't really reacted either way.

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We were just too different ...I told him this in the beginning... and while I wanted to make it work because he is a great companion and a nice guy I could never imagine marrying him (from her final letter to me actally ...see "ouch" thread)


...I need a mans man who can fix things and make me feel protected and he couldn't ...and didn't.


...he always came after me in bed...though being the best lover I ever had I always thought that was weird (uh sweetheart you have NO idea just how great you had it with me given so many "quick draw mcgraw" men out there lol!)


(You all must be howling!! Hey we need some comic relief on this forum)


He didn't want to really bond with my daughter. (read my thread and you might get it why not lol)


We were bad influences on each other ie too food and booze...we both gained some weight. (yeah well as of April 15 it has been 6 months no booze at all! and am on my way to losing more weight too)


We both didn't resolve problems well...he was too nice while we were really seething inside.

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He would always hint, or tell me through body language these thoughts...


1) she was too shy/didnt talk enough around my friends

2) she scheduled my life too much, forcing me to be in a place at a certain time to see her, rather then letting me live a schedule free life.

3) she was too needy, texting me all arvo/night, everyday.

4) she didnt drink enough, didnt let herself "let go" fully pissed

5) she should have hated my sister as much as i do

6) she got too paranoid/obbsessive over problems that didnt matter

7) she didnt go to enough parties

8) she was too lazy

9) she cared too much about what others thought

10) she should talk more dirty about stuff, and not act so innocent infront of my friends.

11) she should do more random stuff with me, not just the same old, everytime i see her, its boring.



arhgg this just makes me hate him more haha.

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Great idea!


Some of these are his words. Some are just mine.


1. She was too threatened by my relationship with my mother.


2. She never kept her phone by the bed at night or with her most of the time; she was very hard to get in touch with.


3. She could be very inflexible.


4. I could never love her enough to make her love herself.


5. She didn't want to move into my house.


6. She wasn't sure if she wanted kids, but I knew I would someday.


7. She was shy which I loved about her, but I didn't love it when I had to worry about putting her in many uncomfortable social situations.


8. I respected, but resented her independence.


9. We were stuck in a rut.


10. Her high moral standards were intimidating.


11. She stole the covers and left toothpaste in the sink.


12. She was insecure in the bedroom.


Gosh, I sound like a real catch, don't I?

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1. She told me she loved me too much.


2. She wanted to start arguments over stupid things.


3. She took up my Friday nights.


4. She didn't like talking on the phone 5x a day like I did.


5. She wasn't old enough to go get drunk with me at the bar.


6. She wanted to start venturing out more and meeting new friends.


7. She was lazy.... (yeah right)

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This might be helpful, or it will just make me feel terrible! Well, off I go then. My ex would probably say:


1) She was too emotional. She just cried way too much, I eventually became desensitized to it and didn't give a damn.


2) Other than crying, she bottled up her other feelings and never let me know if something was wrong. She'd always lie to me that nothing was wrong.


3) She was not comfortable with her body and never accepted that I found her attractive.


4) Partly because of #3, sometimes she wouldn't let us have sex or do anything sexy because she was ashamed of her appearance. We couldn't have afternoon delights.


5) She stopped really being herself, the girl I knew when we met.

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1) She was too sure too soon that this relationship was THE ONE for her - too ready for marriage too soon, and I wasn't.


2) She was insecure and clingy, and we broke up soon after our 1st anniversary because of it. She improved upon that, but I still don't feel she gave me the space I needed and I would often stay late/sleep at work to be by myself.


3) She was my first girlfriend and first love, we met when I was 24 and I had had only ONE other sexual partner before her (my FWB who deflowered me and taught me about sex). Even though sex with my ex was waaay better than the FWB, I still feel like I need to go out and see other people.


4) I don't know what I want to do with my life and don't want to string her along.


5) Even though she was not a demanding girlfriend (at least for the last 1yr of our relationship), I just don't feel able to deal with the pressure and demands of being someone's bf and to have to think of them and call them and stuff like that.


Some are things he told me and some are things I am 99% sure of based on things he's said and done.

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My ex would say without a doubt..


1) I gave her everything and she threw it back in my face. She was full of BS.


2) I couldnt trust her. My friends warned me and she proved them right.


3) She didnt choose me. I feel like she just settled for me in the end because no one else would have her.


4) She is shallow and fake.


5) I didnt like it when she drank. Alcohol and drugs made her a terrible person and I couldnt deal with it anymore. I could never trust her if she had been drinking.


6) She says she loves me but I dont believe her. She used me.


7) She never loved me. She was only interested in me after I lost weight and all of a sudden she thought I was hot. Convenient. I hate her and would not care if she died.


If only he knew the truth. None of this is true but its what he thinks of me.

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he would say:


When she was with me, she made me the center of her life since she didn't have any family or much friends in my country. It was suffocating.


Now that she is on the opposite side of the world, I would never ask her to leave her family and friends, abandon her family's business, and move to be with me in the middle of nowhere. I can't handle that responsibility since my feelings have always been less than hers.



man, that hurts!

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