Haunting Suspicion

[snowbrdrgrl]

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and we live together. I had a really hard time when we started dating trusting him because I've been hurt by someone he seemed a lot like. I have gotten better about not feeling insecure when we go out together etc... He's told me that he's not going to stop looking at other girls but that I shouldn't worry about it because he loves me and isn't going to do anything.

 

We have the same cell phone plan and I notice that he keeps in contact via text with his ex. It's usually every other month or so that they exchange texts, but it still bothers me. He also has social networking sites that he's added ex gfs on and I guess I just don't understand why he feels he needs to have contact with some of the same girls on more than one site.

 

I feel like I can't ever really completely trust him because then I'd be opening myself up to potential harm. I don't know how to get past that bad feeling. I know that you have to trust fully to fully experience love and I DO love him, but I just don't know how to get rid of that constant suspicion.

Any ideas??

[Mia_of_Doom]

First you need to get that it's YOUR problem, not his. He has not done anything wrong, you have insecurity issues that you need to overcome. If he treats you well, compliments you, and sexes you up well then relish in that. Enjoy it, and just let go of what he "might" be doing. Let him help you build your confidence. And do hobbies you enjoy so that you're happy with yourself. This will reduce your insecurity.

 

Some people stay friends with exes and it's completely platonic. It would be selfish and possessive to try to deny him contact just because it makes YOU uncomfortable.

[Circe]

Is it suspicion or jealousy?

 

Are you suspicious he is cheating on you? Or are you jealous that there are other women, who have shared an intimate bond with him, who still share a part of his life?