new member here

[carpe]

Am I normal?

I am a family man of age higher 30s. I have been fighting mental abnormality for sometime now. Time to time I feel total lack of interest. When I have this bout of "mental instability" I long for someone whom I can talk about. Most of the time, I would end up alone.

I am an immigrant, settled in this country 12 years back.

I work in a company in IT sector. I am quite alone here. I try to mingle with people, but at time best of my effort I will find myself sitting in a corner gazing at my computer screen with blank. Basically, I am sick of my career.

As I mentioned earlier, I am married for 12 years and have 2 kids. My life at home is commitment. My marriage life is boring. As I growing old, my needs have changed. I want to be take risk in my life. I want to be adventurous in my life. But my partner seems to have been in a time capsule. She is the same as I have seen her 12 years back. She does not want to change and I think she will never change. I am seen to some extent as a product which will bring security and wealth. I cannot blame her. The world is evolving that way. I tried to explain to her how sad and desperate regarding my career. But she thinks, I should stick to it because it pays well. I cannot discuss anything with her because I think these things are quote trivial to her. So I have stopped being open to her.

I have some friends at my work. I used to have a female friend at work. I used to have a decent relationship with her. When I used to tell her, at least she used to listen. For last couple of months, we have grown apart. Probably, she thinks I am too negative. Probably I am .

I do not know what I feel like.

My mental condition sometime manifests physically. For example, at this moment I have experiencing a back pain. I feel tired.

I hope the post makes some sense. I am not very good in expressing thoughts on paper. My thoughts get blurred when I try to put on paper.

Thanks….

[spearntime]

well...nutrition and exercise can help all of your symptoms. It would make things more exciting, too. What do you like to do? Sports? Try bungee jumping. Ask your kids and wife to go (to watch or wife to participate). Have you every thought about skydiving? What about volunteer work? Feeding the less fortunate and bringing the kids to help could liven it up a lot. Make life more meaningful. The bungee jumping and skydiving are extreme...but I'm making a point. No one ever says you have to stop your life because you have a family. It's actually a beginning.

 

Sounds like you've been behind a desk too long and you're getting depressed because you're not getting out enough.

[NightLily]

Sounds to me like you have ended up in one serious rut with maybe a little bit of midlife crisis mixed in. If your job pays well, you probably have the insurance to get a therapist? If you are open to it, I would say give it a try.

 

You could also try to make some small changes in your life that make you feel more picked up or as if you are going somewhere and improving. For example, you could take up a hobby. You could do swimming or running and push yourself to get better. You could also pick up some musical instrument. Something you can make progress on. That usually helps me a bit.

 

Try little changes and then therapy first before you make huge changes because sometimes the little things will make a huge difference.

[amipushy]

I agree with the above posts. Find something to look forward to, something that gets your adrenalin pumping just thinking about it. Life's too short to waste by staring into space dreaming of something new, something fun, something energizing. Get out in the world and find it.

 

You don't have to jump straight in, if you want to do something athletic, join a gymn and set yourself a goal, run a mile a month and work towards runing a maybe do a marthon in a couple of months/years etc. maybe its something educational, some interest you could follow. All these will also give you the opportunity to meet new people and create a new social life.

 

These are just options, only you know what you want from life so get out there and do it!