jgal86 Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I need some advice everyone…I dated this great guy a few months ago before we broke up (it was mutual – timing was off, complicated things) now we started talking again and just hung out for the first time since the break up. Every time we talk and when we hung out it was just like old times, we flirt, tease and even fell asleep cuddled on the couch together. My question is I want to talk to him about seeing if maybe we could try again but I’m afraid should I bring it up and risk him saying no & then lose what friendship we have going on now or just don’t worry about it & talk to him. A friend I asked said I should ask him because I never know he could be thinking the same thing but afraid to say something too. I know it's silly to be this chicken but I guess I just wanted to a little advice and reassurance!! ....any suggestions?? Link to comment
Umlunguusa Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Maybe the best thing isn't to be verbal here, but to be physical--inspire his lust, get him to want you. obviously, the emotional attraction is already there, but perhaps you need to push it without verbal cues. just start kissing him, or turn a cuddle into a make out, or something passionate like that. verbal doesn't always seem to work. at least for me. I did the above, and it worked like a charm, ah, but that was a while back a go... Link to comment
jgal86 Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 Well we talked the other night and we were talking about when we went out and something and we did (to not go into too many details anyway we were teasing and he said well we could try it again and keep trying until we get it right but i figured it was just "the guy" coming out in him lol Thanks for the "2 cents" Keep 'em coming guys and gals i need the advice to decide what to do!! Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Don't have any regrets in life. Best to pursue this relationship than to wonder "what could have been." Link to comment
Umlunguusa Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Well we talked the other night and we were talking about when we went out and something and we did (to not go into too many details anyway we were teasing and he said well we could try it again and keep trying until we get it right but i figured it was just "the guy" coming out in him lol Thanks for the "2 cents" Keep 'em coming guys and gals i need the advice to decide what to do!! You know, not every guy is just concerned with sex--there's an old saying that "men give sex as an expression of love", and especially if he's like that, he could still have feelings for you! another thing: don't make yourself too available! you want him to miss you, to think about you constantly, to be looking forward to your calls! that means, every time he calls, only pick up 1/3 the time, instead of 100%. And when you do talk to him, make it count! if you want, I don't 100% recommend this, but you COULD also inspire a little jealousy into him (what you can have you want eh eh?) by talking about other guys in a semi-flirtatious manner. this'll have him wondering about those guys, and make YOU become the prize in his eyes (hehe, that all rhymed) btw, I wouldn't suggest to you anything I wouldn't have done myself, and I've tried all the above with success (except the last one, which worked twice, and backfired once--hence the warning) so good luck! of course, this advice is also for those at the "just friends" stage... Link to comment
jgal86 Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 Don't have any regrets in life. Best to pursue this relationship than to wonder "what could have been." Thanks!! I know, I'm afraid to ask b/c of what me might say (like turning me down and then like I said losing what we have now) but then again I'm even more worried what if he feels the same way and is just to afraid to say it and I'm missing out by not saying anything. I shouldn't just sit back and let him get away I guess Link to comment
Umlunguusa Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Thanks!! I know, I'm afraid to ask b/c of what me might say (like turning me down and then like I said losing what we have now) but then again I'm even more worried what if he feels the same way and is just to afraid to say it and I'm missing out by not saying anything. I shouldn't just sit back and let him get away I guess if you guys are THAT close...ask him no harm done, and if he doesn't feel that way at the time as you do, either refer to my post above, or move on. Link to comment
jgal86 Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 yeah I was wondering about that, he somehow always brings that up so I was like hmmm *raises eyebrows* maybe he does still have feelings. I like that quote, pretty good. The jealousy thing is clever I somehow didn't think about that but I didn't about the not answering all the time...we text each other a lot and my friend tells me sometimes to just leave him waiting and make him stew and wonder haha Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 yeah I was wondering about that, he somehow always brings that up so I was like hmmm *raises eyebrows* maybe he does still have feelings. I like that quote, pretty good. The jealousy thing is clever I somehow didn't think about that but I didn't about the not answering all the time...we text each other a lot and my friend tells me sometimes to just leave him waiting and make him stew and wonder haha don't leave him waiting too long or he may leave...... Link to comment
jgal86 Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 don't leave him waiting too long or he may leave...... Yeah a friend said the same thing earlier that if I wait to long I might let him slip through my fingers to someone else and you're right Link to comment
DN Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 You said the break-up was mutual but who brought it up first? Link to comment
jgal86 Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 he did but b/c it's kinda sticky, we work close by (for lack of better phrasing)...but I can't remember if I mentioned it earlier or not the situation has changed now I'm leaving where I am and going to a different company and other things that's why I thought with various things changing and time, we still act the same toward each other and it being more comfortable if maybe he'd want to try again? Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Well we talked the other night and we were talking about when we went out and something and we did (to not go into too many details anyway we were teasing and he said well we could try it again and keep trying until we get it right but i figured it was just "the guy" coming out in him lol Hmmmmmmm ... did you guys try something "unconventional"? We guys always appreciate a girl who does that. Link to comment
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