unsatisfied

[lovekare]

so lately i've been wondering about cheating. it's not that i want to, but its been on my mind. I've always been very sexual, and now i have a gf of a few years. sex with her has always been good, but she's not too open to trying new things. I guess you could say I have an active imagination, but its not even that. she says she enjoys sex with me a lot, she actually used the word love...but i wonder. I'm the type that i like to take my time, explore, and do it all night i guess. but with her, after i can give her what she wants she's done, whether i got what i wanted or not. I am a pleaser so i try my best to give her a good time, but after, she ignores me and just says no like it is nothing to her. most times we have sex, i don't come. she just says I'm hard to please. so i started wondering about other girls. i've always had the issue that i never really got to go crazy and wild with all the girls i wanted before her like she did. so i always wonder about sex with other girls. what it could feel like. so i proposed a 3some, bt she said no. it makes her uncomfortable. i tried to dress her up and do things for me bt she's too shy. she doesn't like being the girly one. so what should i do. i watch porn but thats just a movie. and i have started looking at girls around me w other eyes. this is starting to be a big concern. i don't want to do something stupid. i love her and don't want to lose her. but i'm unsatisfied. what should i do? help...

[FloatingAnchor]

I think her refusing to satisfy you is a bigger issue than being conservative in bed. Tell her that you don't think it's fair the pleasure is only going in one direction and that you'd like her to try harder to make it fun for you, too. Once she can respect your needs, you can evaluate whether you're still unsatisfied and want to consider other girls. At any rate, don't cheat! Talk it out first and see if she can change her attitude.

[lovekare]

It's not that she doens't do things for me, she just gets there faster than me, and after she has it, she's not into it anymore. she says that just like guys need a break after so does she. I'm ok with that but we never go back to it. she'll usally just fall asleep. i want a girl that keeps me up all night. is it that we just f**k differently? or is it that I am really that hard to please?... maybe I'm just really good...haha

[FloatingAnchor]

She could still give you oral. Has this always been an issue or did it come up just recently?

[lovekare]

it's always kinda been like that. i'm just tired of starting and never finishing. i even just masturbate after and she sees me and doens't care. she says she's tired from work, or whatever. i think she's selfish. i make her feel so good, and in return i just get frustrated. ...i don't know what to do... do u think if i do it with someone else, there's some chance she'll never know?

[catfeeder]

It's not that she doens't do things for me, she just gets there faster than me, and after she has it, she's not into it anymore. she says that just like guys need a break after so does she. I'm ok with that but we never go back to it. she'll usally just fall asleep. i want a girl that keeps me up all night. is it that we just f**k differently? or is it that I am really that hard to please?... maybe I'm just really good...haha

 

If you're that good, why not stop making it about getting her off and start controlling when you get her off?

 

Also, cheating isn't your answer. Ask any cheater with a conscience--the karmic consequences tend to outweigh the original problem.

 

Why not muster up some courage and decide for or against your relationship based on its own merits? If you're in, stay in and put your best effort into resolving it, and if you're out, then be honest about it, and go.

 

In your corner.