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So, this guy and I are "taking a break from our relationship" that he suggested and well obviously didn't have a choice but accept. I told him I couldn't be friends initially via e-mail then we spoke last Wed and I said I would try to be friends. After thinking about I realized I would only be hurting myself and needed to move on and not wait around. So I initiated No Contact. Yesterday, I was reading some threads that reassured me I was doing the best thing for me. I'm doing NC for me so I can move on and it's meant to be (as he put it) he will need to win me back. I've deleted his number but we are both on FB. I didn't want to de-friend him b/c I felt that would make it look like I'm mad or contrary to being friends. What I did though is hid news feed on him. I haven't checked his page in days and felt really good yesterday about having the mindset of moving and leaving the rest in God's heands. Well, yesterday wouldn't you know it, he pokes me. I was a little irritated and just removed it like it didn't exist. I felt good that by doing so I was moving on. I care for him and it's a bit hard right now b/c his bday is tomorrow and I know they are having a bday hh for him today and tomorrow dinner (which I was going to organize). I'm keeping myself busy.


Question: Would it be bad for me to write on his wall wishing him happy bday and that's it?

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I think if you feel the need to wish him happy birthday then do so. I don't see any harm in it as long as you don't get roped into responding back and forth to contact that it may invite from him. It sounds like you know what is best for you though and are determined to do what is best to move on.

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The Happy Birthday wish would be fine, nothing complex, just "Wishing you a happy bday!" and leaving it at that.


He is obviously trying to get a reaction out from you by poking you. By not reacting, you are showing that you're in control, and that would start to get him into a "survival" mode, if you will.


I suspect more contact from him in weeks to come

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So I posted on his wall this morning just saying, happy birthday. I'm really sticking to not reaching out to him. I was a little sad and irritated that I heard from my friend who he knows but not well that he e-mailed her around the same time I believe he poked me on FB. Telling my friend about his bday happy hour and my friend said she couldn't b/c she already had other plans. My friend didn't want to tell me for fear of making me sad. Part of me was like, is he that stupid he thinks my friend would go when her and I are good friends? My mom and dad said not to pay attention to it that he is trying to get a reaction but I'm not going to give in.


So other than the happy birthday post on his FB wall I'm sticking to NC unless he is reaches out in a way where I know whe wants to make things work otherwise I will be cordial and keep moving on. I'm moving on for myself, not for him or getting him back.


Thanks to all of you for your support! I'm moving on but of course would be a nice surprise to have things work out in the end but in the meantime I won't focus on that but on me.


I will keep you all posted. Am I doing right thinking this way?

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Well, we met last summer around Jul and were friends until Sept about two weeks before he left for Iraq we ended up hooking up. He kept in contact while he was there for 5 months. He came back around mid Feb and we started back where we started until about two weeks ago when we had a bad fight which led to where I am.


I'm moving on for me. He needs to win me back at this point. I miss him but it gets better day by day and well I leave things to God. Time will heal and it will make us see if we can start fresh to have a meaningful relationship. I'm doing my best to move on completely.


As for Facebook, hiding him in the news feed and also hiding his friends so it doesn't remind me of him is basically not get status updates in the news feed portion. So I won't see him putting up pics or what he is doing or anything related to him. I'm not going to his page and won't do that for now and who knows when I will be over it and be able to be ok with doing it and not getting angry or upset of what I may see.

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Just wanted to post that I just erased most of the e-mails that I had with this guy and the other ex before him who I didn't think I would ever be able to do. I'm really trying to move on and I think dealing with the bday this past weekend would be the hardest. I think by erasing most of the e-mails is a sign I'm really letting go. I'm moving on and trying not think of him and if I do not let it get me down but just move on quickly to something else. NC is for the best and will continue it.

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So this past Fri, I made plans to go to this place fri night with some girl friends. My friend/co-worker that went to dinner with my ex roomate fri night and beforehand her and i were talking and told me they may end up at the same place where I was going so she wanted to warn me that my ex might be thre. I didn't want to change my plans just b/c i may run into him. So, long story short. When I got to this place and were sitting outside and two of his friends pop next to our table and so I said hi and we talked for a bit and that was that. Then an hour later he text me saying, "hey there, are you at xxx place? Ran into XXX and they said they ran into you." I didn't respond back. I was with my girls and and another two guys friends came too. The next day I did text him back saying, "hey sorry i didn't get back to you. I was at xxx had a good time. Have a great weekend!"


Questions: I did well, right? Guess he wanted to see me? Why would he text me if his friend told him he saw me there? I actually moved over to the place next to the one where I was orginially so maybe he text b/c he couldn't find me? Thoughts?


Either way, I still feel strong and in control. If he reall wants to be with me he has to do more to make that clear to me and win me back.

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