vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 So, quick info: I have been with my ex for 1.5 years. First love, first boyfriend, first "time" if you catch the drift, etc. He didn't make me happy for many reasons, and as much as I loved and cared for him, I've decided to do the most painful thing and cut the cord. Pretty much he has done nothing but hurt me along the way. He has then, in a few weeks after our break up, rebounded with an ex girlfriend of his who is utterly horrible and who he claimed he "hates" back then. So anyways, after many heartbreaks, tears, diary entries, and talking to the people in my life about it, I've decided to get back up again and date. I recently caught up with an old friend of mine who goes to her church's youth group meetings, and I have decided to join in the youth group again. I have a very good feeling I'll find someone there, someone very nice and stuff. The reason why I'm a little scared is because most of my friends are also his friends. I'm not sure if he's over me or not, who knows, maybe he is, but I'm a bit worried what he might be thinking if I went out with another guy. He's very vengeful and stuff, so I don't know what I should do. Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Hi vertigoxo, you really shouldn't worry about what he's thinking or going to do, he has no holds over you anymore (and if he thinks he does, then thats his problem), and he probably wasn't thinking of you when he got back with his 'ex'. It's all about you and what makes you happy Might not help much, but I really hope it makes you feel better. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Hi vertigoxo, you really shouldn't worry about what he's thinking or going to do, he has no holds over you anymore (and if he thinks he does, then thats his problem), and he probably wasn't thinking of you when he got back with his 'ex'. It's all about you and what makes you happy Might not help much, but I really hope it makes you feel better. Yeah it did made me feel a bit better haha. It's just, as much as I want to move on to someone new, I'm just really worried what he would do or what his friends will do to me. I have erased my Facebook account because someone had my number there and started texting me pretending to be a 20 year old man looking for sex from me. Turns out, it was the cousin of his new girlfriend. So yeah. Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Yeah it did made me feel a bit better haha. It's just, as much as I want to move on to someone new, I'm just really worried what he would do or what his friends will do to me. I have erased my Facebook account because someone had my number there and started texting me pretending to be a 20 year old man looking for sex from me. Turns out, it was the cousin of his new girlfriend. So yeah. Whoa, thats just a bit weird Sounds like your ex and his friends has some issues! Do you have to see them or interact with them at all? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Whoa, thats just a bit weird Sounds like your ex and his friends has some issues! Do you have to see them or interact with them at all? Yeah they do! LOL! We all go to the same school, him and his friends. His friends are still friendly to me and treat me like a friend still, just some of those people in his life who are a bit mentally unstable, should I say. It's sooo weird, because the cousin was trying to get me to talk about the break up and stuff. She is friends with my ex for a long time now, so I'm kinda like, okay, you never contacted me ever but now you're suddenly interested in my life and problems? It just doesn't match up, you know? My best friend (also good friends with the ex) told my ex that and he played the "Omg that's screwed up of someone". But then her story changed and it's now him saying, "SHE DID THAT?!" so I'm a bit wary of her too. Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Yeah they do! LOL! We all go to the same school, him and his friends. His friends are still friendly to me and treat me like a friend still, just some of those people in his life who are a bit mentally unstable, should I say. It's sooo weird, because the cousin was trying to get me to talk about the break up and stuff. She is friends with my ex for a long time now, so I'm kinda like, okay, you never contacted me ever but now you're suddenly interested in my life and problems? It just doesn't match up, you know? My best friend (also good friends with the ex) told my ex that and he played the "Omg that's screwed up of someone". But then her story changed and it's now him saying, "SHE DID THAT?!" so I'm a bit wary of her too. It's a tricky one. I'm a bit older and more travelled (although def. not wiser...LOL) and I've reached a stage where I don't really care what other people think or do. If someone wants to be nasty, mean or vindictive then they are not worth my time. But I don't show that, I just walk away with a smile and my head held high. Do any of these friends go to the Youth group? Will they find out from anybody else what you get up to? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 It's a tricky one. I'm a bit older and more travelled (although def. not wiser...LOL) and I've reached a stage where I don't really care what other people think or do. If someone wants to be nasty, mean or vindictive then they are not worth my time. But I don't show that, I just walk away with a smile and my head held high. Do any of these friends go to the Youth group? Will they find out from anybody else what you get up to? Our mutual friends don't go to the youth group, which is nice, but who knows I might tell my best friend since I'll be bubbling with excitement and who knows what she'll do? I'm not saying she's a horrible person, because she's not, but the fact that she's close with my ex... well, it kinda spells trouble, you know? Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 First of all you should just go and have a good time and not worry about meeting other people, just go with the flow and see what happens. You are what is important, not your ex or friends etc etc. and if you do meet someone, you have 2 options: 1) Don't lie to your friend but just omit to tell them about any potential dates (at least for a short while). 2) Tell you friend what happens and if it gets back to you ex, and they react then so be it. That's there problem. You can't and shouldn't put your life on hold because of what the ex might say. Have fun Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 First of all you should just go and have a good time and not worry about meeting other people, just go with the flow and see what happens. You are what is important, not your ex or friends etc etc. and if you do meet someone, you have 2 options: 1) Don't lie to your friend but just omit to tell them about any potential dates (at least for a short while). 2) Tell you friend what happens and if it gets back to you ex, and they react then so be it. That's there problem. You can't and shouldn't put your life on hold because of what the ex might say. Have fun You're so right! Thank you so much for the advices. Who knows, maybe nothing will happen and my life will be good afterall! Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 You're so right! Thank you so much for the advices. Who knows, maybe nothing will happen and my life will be good afterall! No problem Keep us updated as to how you get on. I love to hear peeps on here are having fun and finding some happiness again. It gives me some encouragement. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 No problem Keep us updated as to how you get on. I love to hear peeps on here are having fun and finding some happiness again. It gives me some encouragement. Encouragement? Been through a break up recently, huh? Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Encouragement? Been through a break up recently, huh? Yep, 3 weeks and 2 days (but who's counting...LOL). Day 7 of NC and I think it's getting easier. I've had a good day today Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Yep, 3 weeks and 2 days (but who's counting...LOL). Day 7 of NC and I think it's getting easier. I've had a good day today That's good to hear. I have my good days and bad days, but I think that's normal in the healing proccesses. I try my hardest to stay away from him physically and hopefully, I'll find my prince charming soon. Wow, mine was a month and two weeks. I am on week 4 of NC. Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 That's good to hear. I have my good days and bad days, but I think that's normal in the healing proccesses. I try my hardest to stay away from him physically and hopefully, I'll find my prince charming soon. Wow, mine was a month and two weeks. I am on week 4 of NC. You sound like you doing really well. Has your ex tried to contact you at all? (and I agree, Prince charming is just around the corner Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 You sound like you doing really well. Has your ex tried to contact you at all? (and I agree, Prince charming is just around the corner Nah, he has a girlfriend now. A rebound girlfriend at that, and he was the one that was all "Oh I need time/space, blah blah blah" so yeah lol. But who knows what will happen. Have you tried dating other people? Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Not yet. But I've got a kind of blind date on Sunday (we've been chatting over email and he is a friend of a friend, so not a complete stranger), quite nervous about it, only because I know I'm not over the ex Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Not yet. But I've got a kind of blind date on Sunday (we've been chatting over email and he is a friend of a friend, so not a complete stranger), quite nervous about it, only because I know I'm not over the ex You can't be super serious with a guy quickly after a break up cause then you'll just be rebounding, and even though it's all good at first, once the honeymoon stage is over, you'll just be even more misreable. A date is not the same as "being in a relationship". You should go to that blind date and have fun. Who knows, maybe this guy is super cute. Link to comment
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