Dating? In this economy?

[Ahhh]

I lost my job a month and a half ago. I've been looking for jobs without much success, and now am just kinda hanging out collecting unemployment. Im doing some side work under the table, and am staying as active as possible with the gym, my band, reading, job searching, etc. Should I even be thinking of dating right now? Also, I have a relaxed attitude about getting a new job. Like I've been looking and applying almost everyday, but I feel no sense of urgency. I'm confidant something will come up my way, I'm just in no rush. What would a girl think about dating someone unemployed? Even worse, unemployed and not in any peticular rush to become employed? I posted this on another forum and got some interesting responses, but what do yall think!

[bmwm3]

Looking for a job is a full time job... it really depends on you.. dating cost money, so if you have extra cash to burn.. then dating shouldnt be any different then if you had a job...

 

but if your tight on cash.. then maybe step back from dating and focus on yourself and getting a job...

[Casey13]

Many people are in your boat right now. There is a difference between being unemployed due to laziness or lack of ability to be effective at work and being unemployed due to a recessing economy which put hundreds of thousands of people out of work. If you are happy with where you are at then Im sure no girl will judge you for not working and looking. Only thing is like above mentioned dating does cost money and you dont want to come off as cheap so if you have some spare cash to burn then you are good to go and if not maybe its better to wait until you are working again to start dating.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I would do both - date and find a job! Dating can be cheap - walks in the park, watching movies, sex (apparently the sales of condoms has rocketed as a result of the recession; people are turning to in-house entertainment...!). Coffees are cheap, just avoid the whole dinner/movie stuff, keep it casual and low-key.

[ghost69]

i think CD is in the same boat, except he says he's not going to date, then asks about women he's talking to while looking for a job getting stressed and all of that. i hope you don't become that.

[Ahhh]

Honestly, when it comes to money, I'm really okay. Between unemployment and some side work under the table, I'm fine. It's just telling girls I'm unemployed. It makes me feel like a loser.....even though I enjoy the time off. I have no real urgency to do anything right now. I feel like "something will work out eventually". That's my attitude. Is that a huge turn off? The other forum posters suggested it was.

[ghost69]

Honestly, when it comes to money, I'm really okay. Between unemployment and some side work under the table, I'm fine. It's just telling girls I'm unemployed. It makes me feel like a loser.....even though I enjoy the time off. I have no real urgency to do anything right now. I feel like "something will work out eventually". That's my attitude. Is that a huge turn off? The other forum posters suggested it was.

 

i advocate the same thing. i live life in the present. i do what i want when i want. if something happens, something happens. i don't go out looking, i don't try and impress. a girl will like me for me. it's the most stress free way to live. don't even sell yourself short.

 

i'd love to talk to the people on that forum about that. lol

[WendyO]

Is that a huge turn off? The other forum posters suggested it was.

 

Yes, it is.

 

I'd have a lot more respect for a guy who took a job at McDonald's part-time, that sat at home all day waiting for a job offer.

[pinkrobot]

If you like a girl and want to go on a date with her, ask her out...regardless of your economic situation.

 

There are plenty of dates to go on that don't require money, and a girl who likes you for YOU will be just as happy spending time with you whether the activity cost money or not.

[Ahhh]

i advocate the same thing. i live life in the present. i do what i want when i want. if something happens, something happens. i don't go out looking, i don't try and impress. a girl will like me for me. it's the most stress free way to live. don't even sell yourself short.

 

i'd love to talk to the people on that forum about that. lol

 

Dude.....it infuriated me! Comments about being a mooch on society, being lazy, and how I should be working anywhere I could. BS! And WendyO, really? I mean McDonalds! Come on! No offense to the great folks at Micky D's, but I'm not working there! EVER! I don't care if it "shows I'm trying".

I have no intrest in that, so why would I do it. I do enough to get by, and I don't think I'm waiting for a job to fall into my lap. I realize there is an effort that needs to be made, but there's only so much you can do. I have to ride this wave, and whats wrong with enjoying it a little, ya know?

[jul-els]

As long as your bank account and standard of living remain stable, there's no reason not to date. If those things become comprimised then yeah, you might want to put dating on hold. But as long as you're maintaining the status quo there's no reason to curb your social life.

[Raistlin]

Dude.....it infuriated me! Comments about being a mooch on society, being lazy, and how I should be working anywhere I could. BS! And WendyO, really? I mean McDonalds! Come on! No offense to the great folks at Micky D's, but I'm not working there! EVER! I don't care if it "shows I'm trying".

I have no intrest in that, so why would I do it. I do enough to get by, and I don't think I'm waiting for a job to fall into my lap. I realize there is an effort that needs to be made, but there's only so much you can do. I have to ride this wave, and whats wrong with enjoying it a little, ya know?

 

I thought the same thing the first month or two I was unemployed. Now that its been 4 months, I'm still unemployed, have no job offers coming in despite countless apps being sent out, still single, and my bank account is running dangerously low... I'm thinking I'm going to go to McDonalds until I find something (anything) better.

[WendyO]

And WendyO, really? I mean McDonalds! Come on! No offense to the great folks at Micky D's, but I'm not working there! EVER! I don't care if it "shows I'm trying".

I have no intrest in that, so why would I do it.

 

Everyone seems to be above working when they feel it's "beneath" them, yet they prefer to sit at home sucking unemployment instead.

 

When I was little, my Dad had a masters degree, and a good job, and a family to support (Mom didn't work). When he wanted to take a ski trip with a friend, and we couldn't afford it, he went to work nights in a gas station pumping gas to earn the money.

 

I guess I was taught that there is no job that is beneath a person. Work isn't a 4-letter where I come from...

[itsallgrand]

The thing that would bother me personally is someone collecting unemployment when they are able to work, are working a bit, but using the unemployment to "ride" or keep their account flush.

 

To me unemployment isn't for when you CAN work - and I don't care what a man does so long as he contributes - it is there for when you CAN'T work IMO.

 

Not everyone thinks this way but that part would be a turn-off to me. If say you had hurt yourself and so could not be doing this under-the-table work and being able to work stuff - then collect unemployment. Just how I personally feel about it.

 

But you could always try dating in your present situation and see how it goes: real life feedback. If you do, let us know what the general response is you get out there? lol.

[jul-els]

Everyone seems to be above working when they feel it's "beneath" them, yet they prefer to sit at home sucking unemployment instead.

 

When I was little, my Dad had a masters degree, and a good job, and a family to support (Mom didn't work). When he wanted to take a ski trip with a friend, and we couldn't afford it, he went to work nights in a gas station pumping gas to earn the money.

 

I guess I was taught that there is no job that is beneath a person. Work isn't a 4-letter where I come from...

 

I agree that laziness is not a good quality for person to have. But collecting unemployment does not mean you're getting a free ride. That money can only be collected by people whom have made their payments into the account. It's not gratuitously handed out to anyone who asks for it. It's an insurance policy to help productive citizens get by temporarily should they find themselves in need of assistance.

[WendyO]

I agree that laziness is not a good quality for person to have. But collecting unemployment does not mean you're getting a free ride. That money can only be collected by people whom have made their payments into the account. It's not gratuitously handed out to anyone who asks for it. It's an insurance policy to help productive citizens get by temporarily should they find themselves in need of assistance.

 

Unemployment is funded by individual employers into a state fund. You don't pay into an "account". When you apply for unemployment, your prior employer gets hit with the bill, and they can deny or accept your claim. Like, if someone is fired, they can apply, but the employer can refuse payments, and will win. You generally only get unemployment when you are laid off.

 

And there is no reason why he CAN'T work - he just choses not to. Which is fine, but then don't complain that women will view you as a "loser" for chosing to sit at home.

 

The system wasn't designed to give people a free ride. It was designed to act like welfare - help people out when they really need it. But, it's just another abused system in the US.

[jul-els]

Unemployment is funded by individual employers into a state fund. You don't pay into an "account". When you apply for unemployment, your prior employer gets hit with the bill, and they can deny or accept your claim. Like, if someone is fired, they can apply, but the employer can refuse payments, and will win. You generally only get unemployment when you are laid off.

 

And there is no reason why he CAN'T work - he just choses not to. Which is fine, but then don't complain that women will view you as a "loser" for chosing to sit at home.

 

The system wasn't designed to give people a free ride. It was designed to act like welfare - help people out when they really need it. But, it's just another abused system in the US.

 

The employees account is in the form of taxes paid. The employer is required to make a payment for anyone laid off for reasons other than incompetence who files a claim but the employee must have paid a certain amount of taxes in order to determine how much they can receive in benefits. X amount must be paid in by the employee before they can receive anything. The money is not awarded to anyone who has no record of making payments to the state. It's not free to the claimant. It's a return based on the established payment history of the employee.

[WendyO]

The employees account is in the form of taxes paid. The employer is required to make a payment for anyone laid off for reasons other than incompetence who files a claim but the employee must have paid a certain amount of taxes in order to determine how much they can receive in benefits. X amount must be paid in by the employee before they can receive anything. The money is not awarded to anyone who has no record of making payments to the state. It's not free to the claimant. It's a return based on the established payment history of the employee.

 

This is entirely true. On every point. lol

 

Unemployment benefits are paid from your previous employer. If the employer did not pay unemployment insurance, then you dont get any benefits.

 

There is no "employee account" and employees do not contribute to unemployment through taxes. This is simply NOT the case.

 

You could work for 6 months, get laid off, and still be eligible for compensation. It would be on a prorated basis, and for less time than someone who worked longer, but you'd still get something.

[Ahhh]

Unemployment is funded by individual employers into a state fund. You don't pay into an "account". When you apply for unemployment, your prior employer gets hit with the bill, and they can deny or accept your claim. Like, if someone is fired, they can apply, but the employer can refuse payments, and will win. You generally only get unemployment when you are laid off.

 

And there is no reason why he CAN'T work - he just choses not to. Which is fine, but then don't complain that women will view you as a "loser" for chosing to sit at home.

 

The system wasn't designed to give people a free ride. It was designed to act like welfare - help people out when they really need it. But, it's just another abused system in the US.

 

I did not choose to be laid off!!! I worked hard at a company for 6 years, I gave hours and hours of my life to that god forsaken office that I'll never get back! And if they called tomorrow and offered me a job at half my salary, I'd have to take it. But your gonna tell me that your not gonna take that unemployment check until you're able to figure something out????!!!! Your gonna work at McDonalds, or better yet, you're gonna did ditches! The world needs ditch diggers too right? Who cares that you have a college degree, and all those job seminars you went to? Ditch digging is a wayyyyy better idea! That should look good on your resume when you apply to lockheed-martin.

[Ahhh]

Everyone seems to be above working when they feel it's "beneath" them, yet they prefer to sit at home sucking unemployment instead.

 

When I was little, my Dad had a masters degree, and a good job, and a family to support (Mom didn't work). When he wanted to take a ski trip with a friend, and we couldn't afford it, he went to work nights in a gas station pumping gas to earn the money.

I guess I was taught that there is no job that is beneath a person. Work isn't a 4-letter where I come from...

 

This is completely different then losing your job because of a crappy economy!!! I've also worked multiple jobs just to get by too, or to buy things I want. It has nothing to do with the state of the world right now!! It's in the toilet!! There is nothing out there, and I am looking! In my field, out of my field, out of my state, I may relocate just to get a decent job. But I'm not gonna take a low level job just because I could! Why would anyone do that! It's like taking all my talent and education and throwing out the window. For what? To say "well at least I didn't drain society". You must be joking! I'm just gonna have to trust that something decent will come my way and will have to wait for when a job lead works out.

[jenny_mcs]

I feel like "something will work out eventually". That's my attitude. Is that a huge turn off?

 

Yes, for me, this would be a huge turn-off. I mean, a 29 year old man who feels no sense of urgency about finding a job, is content to live off unemployment because he feels that somehow "everything will work out" is not attractive to me.

[jul-els]

I don't see how collecting unemployment equals bum. It doesn't. As I pointed out before, they don't give unemployment benefits to bums. Only to people who have earned it. It's just their own money being returned to them. Getting hung up on semantics is not the point. It's a tax return. When a person files the employer is hit with additional taxes due to his greater liquidity, i.e.; debt. All government moneys come out of the taxpayers pocket, employer and employee alike. It's all one big slush fund. The shell game that the tax board plays to justify their stipulations doesn't change that. The op does not sound like a sponge in any sense of the term. He sounds like an ambitious, hard working individual who has temporarily hit a rough patch. He hasn't decided to stop being productive and live on handouts for the rest of his life. I believe him and people like him deserve to be cut some slack in order to reformulate a game plan and get themselves back on track.

[Ahhh]

Yes, for me, this would be a huge turn-off. I mean, a 29 year old man who feels no sense of urgency about finding a job, is content to live off unemployment because he feels that somehow "everything will work out" is not attractive to me.

 

Lemme ask you this, if we went out tonight and during our discussion of getting to know each other, the topic of work came up. If I said something like "well unfortunately, due to the terrible state of the economy, my office was forced to close, so I've been out of work collecting unemployment for now. I've apllied to a ton of positions, but I guess I have to wait until something comes through." Is that unattractive?

 

 

I don't see how collecting unemployment equals bum. It doesn't. As I pointed out before, they don't give unemployment benefits to bums. Only to people who have earned it. It's just their own money being returned to them. Getting hung up on semantics is not the point. It's a tax return. When a person files the employer is hit with additional taxes due to his greater liquidity, i.e.; debt. All government moneys come out of the taxpayers pocket, employer and employee alike. It's all one big slush fund. The shell game that the tax board plays to justify their stipulations doesn't change that. The op does not sound like a sponge in any sense of the term. He sounds like an ambitious, hard working individual who has temporarily hit a rough patch. He hasn't decided to stop being productive and live on handouts for the rest of his life. I believe him and people like him deserve to be cut some slack in order to reformulate a game plan and get themselves back on track.

 

Jul-es, thanks for the support! You hit it on the head when you said temporary rough patch