wolf22 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Ex decided a few weeks ago she was done. i bought tickets for us to a concert today. havent spoken to her in 3 weeks. at the end she said we would talk again,, blah blah blah.... went to therapist today and was talking about everthing. she said i should text her and she if she wanted to go as friends. is this a bad move? she said most likely ex will say no, but it shows i am ok and want to be nice?? any thoughts?? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Go for it.....text her.....but be ready for her to say yes. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 is this a bad move? Yes. Why would you buy tickets for an ex? I guarantee this will do nothing but make you look needy/desperate. Take someone else. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I like the gesture but seeing how the breakup is still fresh I would not invite her. The time frame seems a little close for you two to actually be friends. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I would find a friend to go with and enjoy my time without my ex. Seriously, would you be able to enjoy yourself if your ex was there with you? Probably not! Grab a friend, go to the concert and have fun. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 There's never a "right" or "wrong" thing to do. Just think about this: 1) If she says yes, can you go to the concert with her as strictly "friends"? And are you over her & have you coped enough to deal with those emotions? -I'm afraid that if you do go, you're going to feel the emotions flow & you might have a difficult time dealing with the reality of you two being "just friends", once you experience that. 2) If she says no, are you going to regret asking her? -She may even say something like, "Why would you think I'd still wanna go?" Are you prepared to deal with something like that? If you want my opinion, I wouldn't do it. I'd go with someone else...no strings attached. Link to comment
yoley Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Txt her and tell her you were HANDED the tickets (shows that you didn't buy the tickets for the two of you..thus less needy) and that you immediately thought she might be interested, you're excited about going, and to let you know if she's interested...but you need to know by 4pm. This of course, if you're ready to go as "friends". Be honest with yourself. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 no, i only told her about the tickets awhile ago, so she knows i have them. most people here think no, so i guess ill stick with not texting her, unless i get a rush of yes opinions haha Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Nope. Don't do it. You've got 3 weeks on a fresh break. Personally I doubt either one of you are ready for this connection. Link to comment
yellowcal Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 no, i only told her about the tickets awhile ago, so she knows i have them. most people here think no, so i guess ill stick with not texting her, unless i get a rush of yes opinions haha Are you looking for reasons to text her in hopes she will respond and go? I think you will be basically pouring salt on an opened wound if you invite her to a concert this soon. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 i think i explained it wrong. i bought the tickets awhile ago, but i told her about them in a letter. i think you guys are right. no i really am not looking for reason to text her, but someone else told me this was a great idea. thanks for the honesty Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 i think i explained it wrong. i bought the tickets awhile ago, but i told her about them in a letter. i think you guys are right. no i really am not looking for reason to text her, but someone else told me this was a great idea. thanks for the honesty do what YOU think is best for you. Link to comment
steelcitymstro Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 If you felt that this was the right thing for you to do, you wouldn't have to ask about it here....don't do it! Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Just because you think it's best for you at this time doesn't mean it is. You're still making a lot of decision based upon emotions and the pain of the break-up. If you are so inclined to contact her and ask her to this concert go for it. Be prepared that you'll get stuffed though. Link to comment
Sarati Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Ex decided a few weeks ago she was done. i bought tickets for us to a concert today. havent spoken to her in 3 weeks. at the end she said we would talk again,, blah blah blah.... went to therapist today and was talking about everthing. she said i should text her and she if she wanted to go as friends. is this a bad move? she said most likely ex will say no, but it shows i am ok and want to be nice?? any thoughts?? For starters, I'd dump my therapist if I were you. The girl ended it, don't sacrifice your dignity "just to be nice". Holy $h18 I cannot believe your therapists suggested this. If you invite her, guess what, she will have the upper hand and at best think of you as a nuisance. Do you want that? Is she really worth it? My advice: DO NOT ask her out. Ask someone else! Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 The Sarati has spoken. The Sarati is wise. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 do what YOU think is best for you. I disagree. Do what we think is best for you, because 3 weeks after a breakup, you likely do not know what's best for yourself. Better off going with someone else. Link to comment
wolf22 Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Ok I didnt ask. The main reason is I know she would have said no, so why prolong this pain. If she wants to come back , she will. Thank you all for the stong words. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I disagree. Do what we think is best for you, because 3 weeks after a breakup, you likely do not know what's best for yourself. Better off going with someone else. And I disagree....I think to thine own self be true. Link to comment
Hosedbywife Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 Don't text her to ask her...It's too late anyway...Take somebody else & enjoy yourself. Link to comment
methano Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 We should all agree to disagree, let's not get into any heated debates here! To TS: Your therapist exists for a reason, and that is to help YOU get better, to get you out of wallowing in self pity, etc. So whatever you tell your therapist during your sessions with him/her will affect what suggestions the therapist gives you. His or her job is to get YOU better (in the long run), and not your relationship back into shape. The outcome of the relationship does not bother your therapist. As for me, I would follow what most people here has said - not to go with the ex. I wished I had done it earlier. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 What did you end up doing? Link to comment
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