PretentiousPrl Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 So here is the spill. I had a friend who went to school with me. We had classes together and kinda goofed around a lot. We would play hit, pinch, and make fun of each other every day. Now, you wouldn’t believe it! All the making fun of each other landed us in a relationship for about three years. I enjoy our sweet and playful connection however I’m not sure that he’s “The One” he swares up and down we were meant to be because we’ve known each other for so long and he says I bring a side to him no one else has…a playful loving side. he’s the sweetest thing to me however I’m not sure. Sometimes I’m like yeah he’s the only one who understands me and then other times I want more than what he’s giving. Sniffles I’m probably asking too much. Link to comment
PretentiousPrl Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 25 now. I guess what i'm trying to ask is how do you know? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 you don't know if you feel this way, therefore, i'd say, he's not it. especially if you've known him this long and just don't feel it. sucks. great friend, just not a good enough lover for you. about 2% of high school loves or less last forever. it's very slim. Link to comment
PretentiousPrl Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Erm, but you don't think I could have like this ridiculous idea of what a partner should be and its just blinding me from me what I really want? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 nothing is ridiculous if it's tailored to your own preferences. you can have an amazing time with just about any guy and share a connection, but unfortunately, sometimes they just don't do it for us. whether it's something physical or mental, sometimes it's just not enough. happened to me. i dated a girl for 2-2.5 years and thought she was amazing. we broke up a few times (my doing) but i could never figure out why i felt we should be apart. it killed me to be away from her and we would get back together. i finally realized what it was. i just wasn't attracted to her and her personality was keeping me with her. she said she wanted to be into fitness and pumped me up and all that. she didn't follow through. i changed gyms for her and everything for her to quit after a week or two. she always said 'i'll do it later' and made so many excuses for stopping. 'i need to go to school' blah blah. then she quit school. her motivation didn't match mine and her physical appearance was starting to put me off. ultimately, i had to let her go. Link to comment
PretentiousPrl Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 I guess that's what it boils down to two people who have the same fuel to their fire and when one lacks it kinda feels like there holding you back from moving forward. But wait shouldn't that be apart of unconditional love. To be there when the other falls if they don't have determination... be there to support to them and help them rise back to where they were before...Uggghhhh!... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I guess that's what it boils down to two people who have the same fuel to their fire and when one lacks it kinda feels like there holding you back from moving forward. But wait shouldn't that be apart of unconditional love. To be there when the other falls if they don't have determination... be there to support to them and help them rise back to where they were before...Uggghhhh!... unconditional love is pretty much for children and parents. you should love them no matter what they do. a SO though? no way. if you are turned off you are turned off. there is almost no going back to turned on. trust me. Link to comment
PretentiousPrl Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Work is wonderfully slow here Anyways, that's been the rule in my book unconditional all the way but some people say if you do that with bf gf relationships you loose yourself. I don't know but i'm going to enjoy the rest of this 30 mins all alone in my cubie Link to comment
psychoanalytical Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 hey sounds like ur giving this a lot of thought. I recently met a couple who started dating in highschool, and from my observations they have exactly the same problem u expressed - that u start moving forward in different directions, or one is content with the way things are but another isn't. And they would argue about things which are kind of like things we talked about back in highschol, except one is visibly thinking it's getting really old. I guess one of the problems is, we tend to behave in whatever relationship eg. friendship, romantic ones - the way we presented ourselves at the time. Like, the way I act around my high school friends is different to the way i act around earlier college friends and is different to the way I interact with ppl i work with. And I never really kept friends until I began to become more confident with who I am - because now I interacted with people the way I wanted to be treated, and I strived for this self-image. So for someone like me the problem with a highschool sweet heart is that she would never be my ideal partner because she dated someone I grew out of in 2 years. But that's not to say it can't work, but it'll take more than just effort. It would take two people who were really mature at their age, who were similar. I would suggest u guys need to work together and really communicate and establish common goals etc to avoid the situation I described above. Link to comment
PretentiousPrl Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 Yeah! Its been hard. We have repeatedly not met on the same level. There has been many arguments ( caused by me ) and I kept telling him there is more to deal with in this relationship than what he was putting forth. I repeatedly told him to start maning up in certain parts of our relationship but I've given up on that. It makes me feel like I'm a bad person and just asking too much of him. Lately my eyes have been wondering to other guys but thats just something to make me happy at the moment... I'll work hard for a relationship to work I just need a partner that will put out the same time and energy. Link to comment
psychoanalytical Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Out of my own curiosity, wud u under any circumstances decide it's time to move on? What if u met someone who u said to urself, "Gosh he is who i'm looking for?" Or wud u say to urself, "No i have to be loyal." What if that person said to u he was really into you? U mentioned unconditional love, but also that u have caught urself wif the wondering eye. They seem conflicting. Link to comment
PretentiousPrl Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Derm it! I didn't want to give out too much info. (thinking really hard about this ) In these past few days I've came to my conclusion I'm staying with the current one and being loyal. To answer you questions: I have met someone who everytime I see him I'm like "Oh My God I have never seen someone soooooooo handsome and awesome in my entire life." And yeah in my mind I would think he was totally "The One" and times before I've thought I have to move on and get this one. I knew I really liked this guy, he's perfect in my eyes. He hasn't said that he was interested in me or that he feels the same so in turn I would think he wasn't fully convinced like I am. But as time passes by the more grateful I am to have in my life and learning more about him. I'd be cool to have him near in case I wanted to talk or something. The problem now is conveying that to him and letting him know I'm settling the "I like you" stuff. I just want talk about things we're interested in. LOL or he could teach me some break moves LOL! I can't dance worth a cent but I like it alot. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.