fr0z3n Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Hi guys... Yesterday is my GF's graduation day, it's a very special day for her because it's her achievement, I loved to be with her during on that day, congratulating her with a kiss and a hug but... Yesterday, I've been just watching her from afar and it made me feel bad and sorry about myself... In the past months, we already talked about her introducing me to her parents on the day of her graduation but a day before it, she backed out and told me she can't because she's nervous and she's unsure and afraid of what will happen. I've already told her that we will never know what will happen if we or she won't do anything. We've been dating for 6 months now and were still hiding our relationship so her parents wouldn't know. It hurts me so bad that she can deny me so easily. And I also dont want to just sit here waiting, I scares me that one day her parents will discover our relationship and to my GF surprise she'll just leave me... What should I do guys? should I just keep on waiting? How can I convince her or suggest some ways for me to help her, I know it's hard for her and it's also hard for me... BTW, shes 19 years old... Link to comment
jengh Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 What is she so afraid of? Are their cultural/religious differences that she feels her parents wouldn't approve of? And also, you said she's 19. How old are you? Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I think that she is just too scared of her parents knowing she is in a relationship. Is she under a very strich code of household rules? I know of someone in whom is always an A student. When she gets no A's, her parents would be so displeased that it would be like hell at home. If her parents found out she had a boyfriend, it will be for her very bad. So she could only meet her boyfriend during luch breaks in the library, where it is approved of her to spend her time there. Needless to guess, the minute she reaches 18, she is out of the house & is now enjoying her life the way she wants it to be. Link to comment
Blue Streak Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Why exactly is she not introducing you to her parents is question #1 that needs to answered asap. The fact that she is unsure, potentially says much about her long term interest in you. You need to get this stuff strait now. Does she truly love you, if she is not willing to do what it takes to introduce you to her parents, that is question #2. Is she really marriage material for you, if she is not voluntarily introducing you to her parents, that is question #3. Really deeply think about the questions which I have proposed to you. Most can not answer those questions efficiently, until they are already divorced. I personally do not think you have met the right women yet to dedicate the rest of your life too. You know there is something wrong, that is why you are here, asking these questions. Listen to me, you are still in the learning process, you have much more to learn. Only you can determine whether she is the woman you can comfortably say "I want to spend the rest of my life with her". I don't think you do. Link to comment
fr0z3n Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 What is she so afraid of? Are their cultural/religious differences that she feels her parents wouldn't approve of? And also, you said she's 19. How old are you? religious difference is one of the things shes afraid of... The last reason she told me is that her father won't really allow her, I dunno why because she didn't tell me anything... She's afraid that once she told her parents that she has a boyfriend, they will force her to leave me... I'm 20 so I guess age doesn't count... Thanks for the replies... Link to comment
fr0z3n Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 I think I have some of the answers, I dunno if this is the truth, but this is based on how I feel and see things out... The fact that she is unsure, potentially says much about her long term interest in you. We've been dating only fo 6 months, I think it's up to me to keep her interested. I haven't achieved anything yet, theres nothing in me to make her parents proud of me... Does she truly love you, if she is not willing to do what it takes to introduce you to her parents I know she truly love me cause thats how I feel... Maybe she's really afraid? Is she really marriage material for you, if she is not voluntarily introducing you to her parents Yes she is, she got all the qualities as a wife that I'm looking for. But I think the real question is, am I a marriage material for her? I still don't have a job to support her, I'll be enrolling to a new course because my school declared bunkraptcy and it will take me 2 years more to finish college... With all these answers on my mind, I still don't know what to do. Link to comment
d24 Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind. - Leonardo Da Vinci although remember Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice. - George Jackson Link to comment
ay0_x Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 religious difference is one of the things shes afraid of... The last reason she told me is that her father won't really allow her, I dunno why because she didn't tell me anything... She's afraid that once she told her parents that she has a boyfriend, they will force her to leave me... I'm 20 so I guess age doesn't count... Thanks for the replies... There's people whose parents will not allow them to date at all. Just find a guy and wed him without touching/kissing/dating etc beforehand. what religion is she? Link to comment
Caterina Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 What religion is she? I don't think its a good sign...she has to eventually introduce you. Link to comment
pinkrobot Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 There's people whose parents will not allow them to date at all. I don't know that this applies since she's 19. Her decisions are out of her parent's control now. As far as religion goes, do her parents HAVE to know the instant they meet you that you're not the same religion? Can she introduce you without bringing up that topic and let them get to know you first? After 6 months, if you two are interested in being together long-term, I don't think there should be any excuse for this. I've never dated someone that long without at least introducing them. Link to comment
fr0z3n Posted April 18, 2009 Author Share Posted April 18, 2009 Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind. - Leonardo Da Vinci although remember Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice. - George Jackson Nice quote... I think I need to have more patience but I'm already close to my limits... She's afraid but I can't find a way to give her the courage, she just always say that she's afraid but she's not doing any steps... It's ok for me to wait but seeing her not doing anything about it makes me worried... I dont know if her friend influenced her decision, her friend (a classmate of her) would like to introduce her boyfriend too on that day, but she backed out 3 days before... BTW, she is a catholic christian, and I'm in a non-trinitarian christian church... Link to comment
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