Down in the dumps

[soursobgirl]

Hi all,

 

I didnt know where to go so I thought I would write on here.

I am feeling down in the dumps today.

Its my third week on lexapro 10MG and it hasnt helped at all. I still am very teary and on edge.

I find it so hard to get up in the morning, I am unmotivated and often recall bad experiences in my head over and over.

I feel like I am not good enough for anyone, not pretty enough, not smart enough.

I am 2300 in debt I know thats not alot but I feel at the age of 26 I should have some savings and I dont have any savings at all.

I am constantly reminded by my parents how I never saved and blew all my money on clothes.

I have a good job, its nothing really exciting I make about 800 a week which to some is alot. I dont pay rent or really have anything else except my phone bill and mecial bills ( thats what the 2300 is made up of )

I dont know how to get out of this rutt.

My boyfriend is another problem too he doesnt make me feel that great about myself. He has a temper and often likes to make me feel like s*it and then will hug me and say I am his princess. Slowley I feel like he is breaking me.

My parents got divorced my mother is off with some as#hole of a boyfriend who takes her away from my sister and I we are 26 and 23 and she doesnt see us or spend time with us at all. My dad is trying to get over the divorce mum left him after coming back into our family twice and then left for good. She also took all of his money meaning dad had to get a mortagage again at the age of 50. I dont live with my dad and sister I live with my grandpa who is 80 and my aunty who also lives in the house who is 47, never been married. I would love to save some money and maybe one day get a house of my own. I dont know how to do it it.

I have thought about killing myself and ending it sometimes it seems just easier but I dont think I would ever be that selfish.

I just feel like I am worthless.

My boyfriend doesnt tell me he loves me, we have been together for 8 months a little less then that and we have had HUGE fights but still remain togther. I believe he does love me but says my moods are so unpredictable he doesnt know what to do with me.

What can I do to make myself happy?

I am looking for answers, I want to love myself and feel confident and free of horrible thoughts.

I am sitting at my desk feeling so numb at the moment :sad:

[Blanco Nino]

I always start writing lists when I'm down in the dumps. Maybe try that. Just write 5 short term things you want to do then get to it. It can be as simple as cleaning your room. Then complete it and check it off. It always feels good to me to check something off a list. I dunno maybe I'm weird.

[sti_2004]

first of all...

 

You make really good money imo (you still have a job), Your debt is next to nothing, (you havent filed for bankruptcy like everyone else), You dont have alot of overwhelming bills, You have family, You seem intelligent and bright and others will agree that your beautiful.

 

Your very lucky.

Problem is you have to fight with depression. You live with it so im sure you know how it loves to put you down in a dark place and make you feel negative about absolutly anything.

 

Its like being possesed, its not really you that fantasises about suicide but the haze of depression making you think its what you want.

 

I have no advice on how to beat it. All i do is push myself to live a full life and make sure im not putting myself in situations that bog me down.

 

Let your bf know you need all his support and if he dosnt give it then do what you have to do to progress out of your rut.

 

na meen?

[mgirl]

I've always thought that you can't be happy until you discover what makes you happy. What are you interests? Try to define them, then that is your life journey.

 

You are 26, still so young. I'm not going to be corny, but life can turnaround.

 

If you are rent-free, then you should concentrate on paying off your bills. Then, stick $500.00 into savings account and start saving. It really is that easy. Once you have a few thousand, the rest is easy. It is actually quite good watching that money accumulate.

 

Try to build on your self-esteem and find things you enjoy and are good at. As i said before, whatever you enjoy is what you should be doing with a majority of your time.

[soursobgirl]

But howcome I hate myself so much. I mean what has conditioned or triggered myself to hate me so much.

I am yawning my head off at my desk all i want to do is curl up into a ball and put a big wooly jumper on and sleep.

I cant even be bothered to drag myself into the shower.