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what's up with the disappearing type of guys


fatcat1999

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seems it's not unnormal.

the guy I was seeing casually for three months (met around three times a month) simply fell out of the face of the earth after a great date eight days ago. I even mensioned our lack of communication mid week, and ask him to be upfront to me.(he's giving mixed signals)

 

then nothing.although I don't think I invested that much emotion, just want to know what's the motivation of the disappearing action, is that being afraid of confrontation? or afraid to hurt my feelings, so evoked the lemon law? or don't even care to say "it's not working, bye"? or got hit by a bus.

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The only time I do it is if I think the girl is playing games. For instance, if I call and leave a message and they get back like 4 days later. I don't follow up. I just figured if they are interested they will get in touch with me.

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Is there a reason you only meet a few times a month?

 

I'd say if that's all you're seeing each other then I wouldn't expect him to make a whole lot of contact...seems that only happens when two people are actually "dating" each other.

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Yeah I think it's strange to place normal dating expectations onto a situation that is casual. I've had this happen once and I moved on so quickly. Why would you want someone like that in your life who doesn't seem to have the slightest respect or maturity to at least respond to your messages. I mean you were intimate! Surely he could make that small amount of effort.

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LOL. Just answer the given Q. You don't need to blame the other gender so much. (I have read your posts and you seem to blame girls a lot.)

 

what? i would love an example of why you think this. i have nothing against women at all. guys do a lot of bad stuff too no doubt.

 

to your question about her question - guys can disappear for a number of reasons:

 

-met someone else

-you're not their type

-they are a flake

-too scared to tell you they don't want to see you again

-they died (less likely)

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he's 40min away from me and I don't drive, and according to him, he's busy. and he wants to take it slow, that's why he only see me a few times a month.

 

yeah, it happened once before, his company laid off people, so I guess he felt overwhelmed, so we didn't see each other for a whole month, and he shoot me an email about once a week. that's all. and it's happening again after I made a little bit move last date.

 

I'm just so fed up with this guy, no matter what his intention is, I'm not going to talk to him again.:splat:

 

 

Is there a reason you only meet a few times a month?

 

I'd say if that's all you're seeing each other then I wouldn't expect him to make a whole lot of contact...seems that only happens when two people are actually "dating" each other.

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Dont worry I got phased out too.. even though I even asked him last time I saw him whether he is phasing me out!

 

Yes I get it not everybody you like will like you back but at least be honest, tell the person you are disappearing... and dont just leave them hanging!

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he's 40min away from me and I don't drive, and according to him, he's busy. and he wants to take it slow, that's why he only see me a few times a month.

 

yeah, it happened once before, his company laid off people, so I guess he felt overwhelmed, so we didn't see each other for a whole month, and he shoot me an email about once a week. that's all. and it's happening again after I made a little bit move last date.

 

I'm just so fed up with this guy, no matter what his intention is, I'm not going to talk to him again.

 

I don't know, I mean all relationships are different and progress at different rates...but if this is all you're getting after 3 months I wouldn't expect it to suddenly develop into anything worthy of putting effort into. He doesn't sound like he's giving as much as you are.

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