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is this sexual harrasment?


DontMindMe

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first of all this has nothing to do with my "how do i tell him i don't want sex?" post, this is a compleatly different guy.

 

ok so about 3 months ago, this guy asked me out, i knew he was going to because he was planning on doing so for a while ( his trustful friend talled me all) he walked me home and i said maybe then concluded no, to be honest i didn't like him atall. he saw this as me leading him on and continued to call me a man user which blew it compleatly out of proportion.

 

he made being round him very awkward and in the end i tried my very best to avoid him at all costs, he didn't take to lightly to this. things esculated and he begged me for anouther chance and said about how he loved me and how he'd never felt like this before and all that bull. his friend would hassal me and tell me all of what he was telling his friends about his sexual fantasies and comments about me.

 

he somehow got my number without my permission and texted me at midnight asking for anouther chance. he told me disgusting things like how he wanted me in leather trousers with no top on and how he got distracted when i wore low cut tops etc. i snapped at him and told him to F*** off, he then went into an argument with me about how i was a bimbo and how he was a w***** and it went on. i threw some comments back and he then said that i had made his day, that he loved arguing with me.

 

i then went to the teacher who talked to him and he then appologised to me and said that we both said things we didn't mean which i thought was a little unfair.

 

a phew weeks after that he turned mean, deleated my number (which was a good thing) and he started to really * * * * * at me, i go to ATC with him he's a higher rank than me, so he took this as an opotunity to get me to perform tasks that i didn't want to do or that excluded me from everyone else.

 

his mate has also been hasseling me and they both call me by a name i don't want to say, they have been doing everything to annoy the living hell out of me and even today i went into the instructors office to give his mate some paperwork and he said to me "your a cdt deal with it" and he pushed me out. this annoyed as it was his job to take the forms.

 

his mate also left me 2 and a half hours from my home with no lift when he "forgot" me, i thankfully got back home.

 

the two both spread rumours about me mainly sexual that aren't true.

 

to add to that the guy that asked me out also puts hate videos dedicated to me on you tube which are kind of aggressive. saying that he hates me and that i don't have the guts to stand up to him etc

 

 

is this harrasment, or sexual harrasment what is this classed as and is it seriouse enough to report him for? Btw he's almost 18, and i'm 14.

 

please help i'm sorry it's a long thread.

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Yes, report him to your parents. Print out anything that he has directed at you as proof. Keep a journal of the times, events, and what has occurred. He is putting you in harms way..."forgetting" to pick you up and such.

Good luck.....

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Yes, report him to your parents. Print out anything that he has directed at you as proof. Keep a journal of the times, events, and what has occurred. He is putting you in harms way..."forgetting" to pick you up and such.

Good luck.....

 

thank you unfortunately all of the texts he has sent me have been deleated,

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It is harassment and the fact that he is 18 and you are only 14 will get him into major trouble. You need to tell your parents and have them report this to the proper authorities.

without any evidence he'd find some way of getting out of the situation then i'd fear that he would lash out, well more than he already is. actualy i guess the video could be used as evidence although i would be embaressed to show it.

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How about the Myspace pages?

 

no he hasn't contacted me via myspaces. he doesn't own any accounts and he uses variouse mates accounts to post videos. so i really only have the videos which i don't want to use, due to self embaressment, i could use witnesses if i could find any.

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The video could definitely be used as evidence. And it is likely you will get more nasty texts... save them & show them, too.

 

He said "You are a cdt". A cadet? Are you in a military school? You need to bring this to the attention of the commander or whoever is the highest ranking instructor. Tell them what these boys are doing to you and use the word harassment. They have a duty to protect you. Tell your parents as well. And if the officials do nothing to help you, tell your parents that as well. Actually, it would be best to bring your parents in and have a meeting together with them and the commander about this. What they are doing to you is wrong.

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The video could definitely be used as evidence. And it is likely you will get more nasty texts... save them & show them, too.

 

He said "You are a cdt". A cadet? Are you in a military school? You need to bring this to the attention of the commander or whoever is the highest ranking instructor. Tell them what these boys are doing to you and use the word harassment. They have a duty to protect you. Tell your parents as well. And if the officials do nothing to help you, tell your parents that as well. Actually, it would be best to bring your parents in and have a meeting together with them and the commander about this. What they are doing to you is wrong.

 

well i might aswell waite for more nasty texts because i'm not using the video.

 

it's not quite military school, it's the Air training corps an RAF sponsered organisation but the standards are the same as those in the RAF and bullying gets you kicked out, or demoted. and as both these guys are corporals that puts them at risk of demotion. i have talked casualy to sargents and flight sargents about the situation but they all told me to ignore them and waite until i get promoted (i'm next for promotion). maybe then i will be in a better position to tell someone but i can't without evidence sorry to be stuborn about the video but it's not happening.

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They are corporals? They don't have any rank to pull, they are barely over you. The Sergeant has not done anything to help you. I don't know if its the way you said it that he didn't quite understand that you are being harrassed, or if he is just turning a blind eye. Either way, take it to the Commander. I've never heard of a Commander NOT having an open door policy. What if you just told them about the youtube video but didn't show it? Or is there a female cadre member that you could show, and she could verify to your commander that you are being harrassed without any more males seeing it?

 

What they are doing is not bullying; they are sexually harrassing you. You are only 14 and they are older than you; that is ridiculous of that sergeant to tell you to "handle it". Tell your parents. And tell the commander.

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i would tell the CO (who's female) but she could only kick them out of the corps, it would still carry on and outside and without the standards to keep him in place he would do what he wanted and the other guy would continue to hassel me in school and spread even more rumours. going to the teacher a while ago made me feel stupid and embarresed and things were worse because of it.most of the poeple at atc know that he's been annoying me but they don't know the whole story, the NCO's (sargents corporals etc,) say to us that they are here to help and that they are all ears but all of them know what happening and nothing is being done, i think it's because their all a little pre occupied in their own world, they all hate them, so maybe i just need to make it clearer how i feel about it . but whatever i do at the end of the day they are still there.

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I know you must feel like you can't do anything that will make a difference since you already tried and it went no where. But if you do nothing, it will continue. Tell the CO, she needs to know what's going on. If they are both harassing you, they can both be kicked out. And if they continue to harass you outside of school, than you and your parents need to take it to the police. You can have the cops "visit" them and probably scare them enough to keep their distance from you without actually having to do any legal action.

 

You are 14; there is no reason you should have to handle this alone.

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I know you must feel like you can't do anything that will make a difference since you already tried and it went no where. But if you do nothing, it will continue. Tell the CO, she needs to know what's going on. If they are both harassing you, they can both be kicked out. And if they continue to harass you outside of school, than you and your parents need to take it to the police. You can have the cops "visit" them and probably scare them enough to keep their distance from you without actually having to do any legal action.

 

You are 14; there is no reason you should have to handle this alone.

 

thank you i will try, i guess i can't change my situation without getting help.

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thank you i will try' date=' i guess i can't change my situation without getting help.[/quote']

 

That's good, I'm glad you decided to get some adults to help you. Your parents would be a good place to start.

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OP, Please tell your parents...they will have good advice...and legal recourse.

 

yeah i told my mum and she said that paying attention to him would be like giving him fuel and that what i need to do is ignore it and live my life, i don't think she quite understood, i haven't told her about the video's and the comments, but she realises that the guy is a creep and she told me that her and my dad can offer me protection against this guy.

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thank you unfortunately all of the texts he has sent me have been deleated' date='[/quote']

 

Your parents can go through your service provider and get text messages that he has sent you .. I think providers are required to keep them up to 6 months back.

 

without any evidence he'd find some way of getting out of the situation then i'd fear that he would lash out' date=' well more than he already is. actualy i guess the video could be used as evidence although i would be embaressed to show it.[/quote']

 

You are a minor, he is an adult. He can try hard but he has put you into harms way more than once, he isn't going to be getting out of much.

 

Sorry you are dealing with such a jerk.. BIG HUGS!!

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Your parents can go through your service provider and get text messages that he has sent you .. I think providers are required to keep them up to 6 months back.

 

 

 

You are a minor, he is an adult. He can try hard but he has put you into harms way more than once, he isn't going to be getting out of much.

 

Sorry you are dealing with such a jerk.. BIG HUGS!!

 

thanks, never heard of a service provider before, huggs back

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thanks, never heard of a service provider before, huggs back

 

A service provider is whoever you signed up to get your cell phone from, ie Verizon, US Cellular, Sprint. Hence, you pay them and they provide you with cell phone service.

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you can supoena the text from your phone company, sometimes all you have to do is request them but they keep logs I think up to 45 days. Hope this helps

 

Also military has a no harassment clause talk to your superiors if that dont work then go above them until you get the answers you need.

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