Taking a leap of faith out of the friend zone

[BeatinMyHeart]

There is this guy that I am friends with. i wouldn't say we are very close, we are just in each others classes that is all. I mean we get together to study but we don't hang out at all even though I try hard for us to do thing together. But the thing is that I really want to be best friends with him. Him and I are very similar, we have the same sense of humor, we like the same shows, we are dorks, etc... Not only that he reminds me of my first best friend. In my life I had had one best friend, but he moved during high school. From then I have not ever felt like someone could be my best friends until I met him. But the thing is i am afraid that he may not view us as friends, more as just classmates... you know.

 

I was thinking about talking with him and asking if he and I are truly friends. If he says yes, then I would ask him if there is a chance i could be his best friends or would he like that. i want him to be up front with me. If he doesn't see us as ever being best friends then I could just stop trying so hard. But by doing that i may lose him and worse of all get totally embarrassed. What do you guys think I should do?? I really like this guy

[chai714]

When it comes to friendship, there's usually no declaration or formal classification of being "best friends." Much like a friendship that blossoms into a relationship, the process of good friendship occurs over a long period of time - usually years. In your case, there's no need to "ask to be best friends" but rather just focus on being a good friend. How do you become someone else's good friend? By giving more than taking.

[BeatinMyHeart]

When it comes to friendship, there's usually no declaration or formal classification of being "best friends." Much like a friendship that blossoms into a relationship, the process of good friendship occurs over a long period of time - usually years. In your case, there's no need to "ask to be best friends" but rather just focus on being a good friend. How do you become someone else's good friend? By giving more than taking.

Yeah, but at times i feel distant from him. I mean i take friendships very seriously. When i befriend someone I give it my all. But if he doesn't want to be my friend I don't want to put myself out there and have it be broke down.

I don't put myself out there a lot. the only reason i chose to this time is b/c I see potential for us to be great friends. This is really rare for me, and I take things kind of personal LOL

[Yanet]

Are you gay and just want to be really good friends with him because you think he isn't gay? Or you just want a really awesome best friend?

 

You can't just go up to someone and ask if they'd like to take on the role of "best friend" if you don't know each other that well. It's like asking a girl you don't know all that well if she's willing to become your girlfriend without even dating first.

 

What you need to do is ask him to hang out with you and see how it goes. You may find he isn't such a great guy after all. Or he thinks you're really cool to hang out with as well and he calls you up to do stuff. You develop the friendship naturally.

[BeatinMyHeart]

Are you gay and just want to be really good friends with him because you think he isn't gay? Or you just want a really awesome best friend?

 

You can't just go up to someone and ask if they'd like to take on the role of "best friend" if you don't know each other that well. It's like asking a girl you don't know all that well if she's willing to become your girlfriend without even dating first.

 

What you need to do is ask him to hang out with you and see how it goes. You may find he isn't such a great guy after all. Or he thinks you're really cool to hang out with as well and he calls you up to do stuff. You develop the friendship naturally.

But he always seems to be busy.

At times he seems so distant and at other him and I hit it off so well. I have tried to invite him to do somethings but that has not gone well. I have known him for over a month now and still I have yet to visit him at an apartment or do anything with him yet. I don't know what to do. I don't want to seem creepy

[BeatinMyHeart]

Okay, here is my update. SO the more I get to know the more he seems unattractive to me. He acts completely different around me than when he is with his friends. WIth his friends he is all goofy and acts like a dork. When around me he is all serious and stuff.

 

Also, I am positive that he views us as nothing more than classmates, not friends. At first I didn't like that but now I am okay with it. HAHA

 

But still I can't stop to wonder if there is something with me. Am I uninteresting? boring? It kinds of makes me insecure and I don't like that.