GF doesn't get invited to parties because of her boyfriends

[Iwantittoend]

So I was talking to my girlfriend last night about a party she got invited to that's going on tonight. She rarely goes out, so I really don't care too much. I actually encourage her to go so she can hang out with her friends (guys and girls). But then she brought up to me that one of her friends told her that she doesn't get invited to parties anymore because of her boyfriends. She went into how in the past they always caused conflicts and she always has someone on her arm to accompany her. So essentially, I wasn't invited because her friends just want her to be there alone. Then she told me that she'd love for me to be there, but she wants to show her friends that she isn't a little ***** that has to have a man on her arm every time she goes out. I didn't really get that...

 

Personally, I think she was just trying to let me off easy and her friends just don't like me. I told her I was fine with it but it's been bugging me.

 

What's everyone's thoughts on this?

[IMAbadman]

Sounds like both of you are letting other people's opinions control your lives.

[DN]

I think that is very shady and suspect she doesn't want her boyfriend at the party in case she gets an opportunity to meet her next boyfriend.

[Iwantittoend]

Sounds like both of you are letting other people's opinions control your lives.

 

She definitely does. Everything somebody says about her gets to her head.

 

I'm more concerned with the fact that she can't take me along for whatever reason. Like is she trying to hide something?

 

I think that is very shady and suspect she doesn't want her boyfriend at the party in case she gets an opportunity to meet her next boyfriend.

 

I have that suspicion but she just doesn't seem like the type to cheat. She tells me she's so in love with me and that I'm the best boyfriend she could ask for. But what do I really know? I've been cheated on in the past by people that said they loved me as well.

[IMAbadman]

Well then why don't you two go do something together? Screw everyone else...

[DN]

A lot of people 'don't seem the type to cheat".

 

If she truly were 'so much in love with you' she wouldn't want to go to parties without you and she wouldn't care what her friends thought of you.

[hers]

There was absolutely no reason for her to say something so dramatic to you. Seems like she's trying to stir up drama between you two. Best not to react b/c if you do, she'll know she can get a rise out of you by being dramatic. Al she couldve said was "I want to go to this party tonight, so I'll see you tomorrow!"

[Cognitive_Canine]

I can't imagine not going to a party (unless it was all girls) without my boyfriend if I had the choice.

 

I agree. Very shady behaviour.

[DN]

Judging by the number of issues you have posted about with this girl during a comparatively short relationship I think you should think through whether you want to be with her at all. It seems to more stressful than anything else.

[Iwantittoend]

So since all of you think this is shady behavior, do you think I should bring up my concerns to her or just let her go and see what happens?

 

Judging by the number of issues you have posted about with this girl during a comparatively short relationship I think you should think through whether you want to be with her at all. It seems to more stressful than anything else.

 

I know. I've questioned the relationship many times but lately things have been really good. I've never felt more loved in my life. Every time something bad happens she just reels me back in with her love. The thing is I know the bad will strike again, and it will probably only get worse over time.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I would go with her to one of these parties and see what happens.

[Iwantittoend]

I would go with her to one of these parties and see what happens.

 

I did once and all my gf and I did was sit around and talk to her friends. All of them were very respectful to me. There were some guys playing beer pong in the background and lots of other people just drinking and hanging out.

 

However, I look at her pictures on facebook and she's in ALL of them chugging down drinks, playing pong, kissing guys on the cheek, etc. But that's all before she met me.

 

I'm assuming she'd probably be more like the latter when she's alone. That concerns me.

[hers]

I still don't think her friends said anything to her in the first place. It just seems that she'd say that just to get a rise out of you. She seems like a drama queen anyway based on the million things she's done that you've posted about in your very short relationship.

 

If you think it'll only get worse over time, why do you stay? Seems like you have self-esteem or co-dependency issues.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I did once and all my gf and I did was sit around and talk to her friends. There were some guys playing beer pong in the background and lots of other people just drinking and hanging out.

 

However, I look at her pictures on facebook and she's in ALL of them chugging down drinks, playing pong, kissing guys on the cheek, etc. But that's all before she met me.

 

I'm assuming she'd probably be more like the latter when she's alone. That concerns me.

 

I'd say that's safe to assume.

 

I've been to quite a few parties and I've never seen someone's party habits change because they were now in a relationship.

[Iwantittoend]

I'd say that's safe to assume.

 

I've been to quite a few parties and I've never seen someone's party habits change because they were now in a relationship.

 

Plus she doesn't have me around watching her every move. She was probably worried to let loose because she didn't want me to get upset.

 

This was very early on in the relationship as well. I'd say we went together about a week after we were officially in a relationship.

 

I still don't think her friends said anything to her in the first place. It just seems that she'd say that just to get a rise out of you. She seems like a drama queen anyway based on the million things she's done that you've posted about in your very short relationship.

 

If you think it'll only get worse over time, why do you stay? Seems like you have self-esteem or co-dependency issues.

 

Because at times she can be the best girlfriend there is. She is very loving. However, there are other times when I just can't stand her personality. Her attitude rubs off on me and makes me irritable because of it.

 

I have always had self-esteem issues. I'm still battling these issues right now, but I have gotten better. When I think about breaking up with her, the good times float right back into my head and I get images of her with other guys having a great time and doing whatever else. It gets me really down.

 

I know I can't think this way but it's inevitable with me.

[hers]

Thinking that way is a choice. You do'nt have to think that way. You can't let the pros outweigh the cons if you're counting. If the quality of your relationship is always low and you feel like you're walking on eggshells (which you have said before you feel like you do with her), then that one thing should outweigh the many good things. If you're not happy all around but are on certain days when she's taken her happy pill, then it is time to re-think what you're in.

[HouseKitten]

She tells me she's so in love with me and that I'm the best boyfriend she could ask for. But what do I really know? I've been cheated on in the past by people that said they loved me as well.

 

As you already know then, actions speak louder than words. She can tell you anything she wants but how she actually behaves is a better indicator of how she feels.

 

It might be true that her exes were difficult people, but that shouldn't tar you with the same brush.