Where do you find the strength to be in a LDR?

[ashley001]

College is approaching faster than I could have even imagined. My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years, but in 2 months, we will be 1238 miles away from each other. He's going to the US Air Force Academy and I'm going to a university up north about 4 hours from home.

 

He's leaving June 25, 2 weeks after our graduation, and I won't see him until November for Thanksgiving. I mean, even NOW...in mid APRIL!...I am finding myself crying at night and being down when we're together because I anticipate what's coming. He went away for an open house for 4 days and i found myself miserable...I am not codependent on having a boyfriend, I just am finding myself to be not myself lately because I have been down and weak.

 

Where do I find the strength to get through? I'm scared we'll drift apart or lose our spark.

[winchester3]

I was in a LDR, and it was a LDR because of military. She broke up with me. I was waiting at the military doctors office reading some pamplets on the table about military seperation anxiety. I thought to my self "holy crap, this is exactly what we went through". She couldnt handle the "getting to know eachother again" part. I'm sure he'll get some big summers block leave to find some time for you 2 to see eachother. You could tell him your worried and sit with him and read through some of those pamplets together. As simple as the stuff was, i wish i would have read it before we where LD.

 

I'm not sure if the American army has this, but in the Canadian forces, we had those resources available to us.

[Lauren.xo]

I am in a LDR right now and I have been for 2 years. Let me tell you it is not easy at all... This is my first love and somedays it feels nearly impossible.. Have I questioned to give up? Of course.. But I love my man and always stick it through.. The hardest part for me is the little visits.. I hate crying when I say goodbye and then having to face the facts that I probably wont see him for another few months... I live in Canada, him in the states. There is little fun things you can do, like skype (free) that make you have something to look forward too... My boyfriend and I would put our cell alarms to the same time for it to ring, just so we would both no at that moment we were thinking of eachother..

 

It is a lot of stress, and stress causes fights... but if you think about how much he is worth to you, and that you will one day have a beautiful outcome.. it makes you push through!

 

L

[Unknown1607307972]

I came home from seeing my boyfriend in his country last week and I've only just gotten over it. I was crying so much from as soon as I arrived at the airport to fly back to England, to a couple of days ago. It hurts so bad but the reason I keep on with it is simple love. I love him, I really really do. I couldn't bear to not have him in my life so a long distance relationship is better than not being with him at all. We've always been long distance because he's Danish (and lives in his home country) and I am English. It gets easier with time though. You get used to it, and as long as you have regular contact it'll be ok. It'll be hard at first but life will settle down and you won't feel hurt after your mind has gotten used to the change. Also when you do get to spend time together you're going to vaule it a million times more, trust me

[Scylla]

This is so well said. I'm glad I'm not alone in the 'crying after I leave him' part. Damn, those are the roughest.

[sirhcorg]

Im in the military (navy) stationed in GA and my gf just finished college in MI. We've known each other 2 years (in college together) but only been dating over 2 months now. We just fell in love with each other. We see each other together in the long run but I will tell you right now it's definitely not easy. The toughest part is communication. We started off with texting and calling each other over a span of 16 hours a day (probley equal to 14 hours of total talking (crazy i know)). It shrunk after a few weeks and now it's over a couple hours (probley a total of an hour of talking a day). We're still trying to figure everything out but it takes time. If it's in your heart, it will work out.

 

When you see each other, it's going to be great. I just saw my gf for 5 days straight (never leaving each others side) and couldn't get enough of each other. We both were balling when she dropped me off at the airport as well (wasn't a pretty sight). That reconfirms what yall have but talking over the phone is the hardest. We're still working on it.

[DarkAbyss]

Hi Ashley

 

Having been in a LDR for 2 years now, I know just how tough it is, I'm in the Air Force while my g/f is in Australia. As hard as it is we love each other unconditionally, we actually haven't seen each other since she left, due to the demands of my course's and just been unable to find a time that suits both of us.

But even though its been so long we both have grown stronger through it all and have been able to overcome any challenge that has come our way so far.

 

My advice to you is to just take things one step at a time, also as hard it is don't focus on missing your b/f otherwise you'll find yourself getting depressed all the time.

Regular communication as said above is a must as well, things like phone calls, skype, email, and even those social network sites all help keep things going with your love. Sending personal letters is good to, it can be easier to write down how you feel than say it over the phone, also randomly sending little gifts and notes and stuff will help to keep the spark in your relationship alive as well.

 

Hope my advie has helped and good luck for the future : ).