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Any ideas on how to get rid of compulsive thoughts?


amanda8lynn22

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When I was 8, I had my 1st crush, and it stayed with me all the way up until graduation day. I was infatuated with this person for nearly 10 years, so much to the point of cutting, wanting to commit suicide, and severe depression from knowing I would never be with them. When I graduated HS and knew I would never see him again, it was like I was set free. No more recurring thoughts and self-induced emotional turmoil. And I've had a few major crushes and relationships over the years, but nothing I couldnt get over.

 

But now, at 21, I didnt think it'd happen again, but Im completely infatuated with a boss of mine, 24, whom I met 9 mos. ago. I did not want to get to know him from fear of developing feelings towards him..but eventually he kept talking to me..and (of course it led to no where) Except me wanting more and not being able to get it..and being thrown back into the mindset I had in HS.

 

Now I'm completely depressed and terribly saddened by the fact that Im not good enough for this person. The thought of him with another more attractive girl makes my stomach churn. I just need to know if anyone's ever felt this way. It's like no matter how many times I tell myself "I dont like him", "I'm over it", "I just need to crush on someone else", I have no control and these thoughts of him keep coming and coming over and over. I'm obsessed. I can't control it...I'm beginning to wonder if I'm mentally ill. (But Im already on Prozac.)

 

And I've overcome things like this since HS, but its never lasted this long. Im considering transfering to another store, but I know I wont get as many hours at other less busy stores...

 

I just need some help figuring out how to get him out of my head. Any advice / experience would be greatly appreciated!

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