2 unrelated questions

[fishguy]

1.Is the devil you know better than the devil you don't

 

I can't help but be terrified about entering dating.I am so scared of somebody else having underlying issues.With my ex at least I know of all her problems and that is probabley the reason I pine for her.I'm scared that someone else may surprise me and be some kind of nutjob too.It also doesn't help that everyone I know who is single male and female has some kind of hang up.Believe me I do not think I'm too good for anybody as I have my own baggage.I guess I'm just so scared of falling in love with someone again just to be disappointed again,and feel well anybody I meet must be single for a reason.Again I'm not putting myself on a pedestal as I got my problems too,at least with my ex there's no surprises.If anybody has any feel good stories about finding the perfect person after a break-up I'd love to hear them.

 

2.What do you think are the financial obligations of the dumpee?

 

My Ex recently asked me if I could help her financally as she is in more debt now than she was at the onset of her relationship and she attributes that to being a relationship with me,and she said that it's only fair.The only big purchase she made in our relationship was to buy me a couch for my place which was about $600.I could see her asking for help to pay that off.

What I can't see is all the times she bought groceries and other stuff on her credit card,30bucks here 40 bucks here.She said her card use to have a balance of 1k and now has a balance of 4k,and thinks that I should help her pay it off.Being that she was the one to end with relationship abruptly without any good reason and rip my heart out of my chest I think she should

take her debt and get out of my life,I've lost more than 5k because of this relationship.I've lost my heart and my soul that's got to be worth something.

This also gives her a reason to still be attached to my life.If I could afford it I would give her the money just to cut off contact.

Thanks for your input everybody.

[RipTideRush]

Tell her to bug off.

 

Its her fault for buying stuff on her CC without have the money to pay it off. Is she going to pay you back for all the things you bought? Hell no.

 

You are not obligated in any way shape or form. Dont feel guilty of it, its her own problem.

 

As for the first part, you will just have to lower your standards and realize not everyone is going to be perfect. Everyone women you may meet will have flaws. I think You should stay single for a while until you get over your ex.

[Aeryn]

1. I think many of us feel that way right after a breakup, especially if the relationship was long-term. You may fall in love again, you may not. But either way, the one person you have to love truly is yourself. You can't be happy in life without loving yourself. And if somebody else comes along in the future, give them a shot. One date does not guarantee that you two will become an item and fall in love. Just don't worry about it too much, and take life as it comes at you.

 

I don't have a personal story of my own, but I do know of one. A cousin of mine was with his ex for 5 years. His was really in love with her, was going to propose to her and everything, but I guess after 5 years she decided she didn't want him anymore. He was devastated, thought he would never love again, etc. He wouldn't even go back out on the dating scene...until 3 years after the split. He ended up finding a great woman who he eventually fell in love with. They're happily engaged now!

 

 

2. Do not give the witch (with a "B") any money. I don't know your story--but if you two were simply just boyfriend/girlfriend, meaning there was no marriage or engagement in the picture, then there's really no reason to help her financially. SHE made the decision to purchase that $600 couch for you, and SHE made the decision to end the relationship. It's her loss. Just tell her straight up that you will not help her financially, that every decision she made was her own, and that Karma is a * * * * * and now she's learning that.

[fishguy]

Thanks for the advice guys,she contacted me today to let me know that she would no longer want money for me as she had consolidated her debts.

Which is awesome as I don't have to deal with her any more.

Man these few weeks have been a rollercoaster.I hope she's happy in her new life and if she has a new guy I know from previous experience it doesn't take long for that pretty little girl to get nasty,so good luck fella! I hope you enjoy your ride on the crazy train!!!