buba Posted April 26, 2009 Author Share Posted April 26, 2009 It's so true...I am sure if he really wanted me back, I would of known by now. Actions speak louder than words... It was kinda hard though...to make myself unavailible. Link to comment
Anusha Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 I know how hard it is but be strong for your own good.I was in the same situation with you with my ex,3 weeks NC and then he starts texting me every day and soon we become in contact and start sex talks.I kept it going for about 2 months but it just didnt fell like I should be having sex with him being broke up so I cuted it out.It was very hard to tell him that but I just felt it was what I needed to do.It just will hurt you if you keep going with that. Link to comment
gbr2bagain Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 It's nice to know I'm not alone in my foolishness. No offense, just feeling really stupid and isolated myself. And I can't even get 2 weeks of N/C right. Link to comment
Anusha Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 It's nice to know I'm not alone in my foolishness. No offense, just feeling really stupid and isolated myself. And I can't even get 2 weeks of N/C right. No you arent alone,I did it too.The maximun I could keep NC was one week but I kept pushing myself until I could do more.You can do it just believe on yourself.See it as a game lets say your maximun was a week,just set yourself a time like lets say 10 days and try to keep it.It will make you fell strong once you do it Link to comment
buba Posted April 27, 2009 Author Share Posted April 27, 2009 What's best to do? ignore his calls completely or tell him how i feel about being his booty call? Link to comment
buba Posted April 29, 2009 Author Share Posted April 29, 2009 i am a complete idiot...It's not working. he calls and i wait a while thinking that I will be able to ignore his call...and than I grab the phone and talk to him, like I don't even care why he was silent for so long. I refused to see him tonight because it's late and I have to wake up early tomorrow...he asked about tomorrow and I said that it's a possibility. i am really ashamed of my actions but can't contain myself. I really want to see him/hold him.... I guess I am just lonely and he is so familiar...knows me so well. I am sure that I will let him spend the night again....and probably hurt again a few days later when I don't hear from him... I am just praying that the hurt will go away at some point and I will be strong enough to end this. I feel that I should be off this forum, cause everyone is telling me to end it....I just can't yet. I really miss him. can anyone relate? Link to comment
Samedy Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Do you have any friends, hobbies, or interests that could take your mind off this guy? Link to comment
buba Posted April 29, 2009 Author Share Posted April 29, 2009 I do...and it keeps me from calling/texting him...I never initiate contact. He calls and I am acting like i don't care much(it's a lie). I struggle with ignoring him and refusing to see him, but I don't make myself availible most of the time. I make him wait and see him when it's convinient for me...not him. that way he probably thinks that I don't care that much any longer... we used to travel, go out to restaurants,etc.... None of it takes place any more. In fact, I will not spend a penny on him any longer(I used to take him places, because he lost his job while we were together and I initiated to pay for trips, dinners...) I am not going to do it any longer. May be he thinks that I am using him as well? I act really detached when I talk to him. Zero emotions. I used to be complete opposite. we were in contact a few times a day and I saw him almost every day. I have never been through such thing,never had to pretend that I don't care much.... trust me, it's really hard to do. Hopefully, i will not go completely crazy... I am not ready yet...is it a lame excuse? Link to comment
createhappiness Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 ok, tough love here: yes, it's a lame excuse. what are you waiting for? do you think he is going to miraculously change overnight? this man is a selfish bastard and he's going to use you for as long as you allow him to. the more you let him into your life, the less he will respect you. if you think that sleeping w/ him is somehow a better option than not seeing him at all, then you are shortchanging yourself - everyday that goes by where you feel you are not ready is another day living in limbo. do you want to be loved and adored and treated with respect? then you have to make the choice to cut people out of your life who are clearly treating you like trash. to help you get out of limbo, write a list of what you want in life, what you want in a relationship, etc. then start seeing what changes you need to make in your life to attain these goals. it may be overwhelming, but you have to start somewhere. Link to comment
1MoreChance Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 ^^^^ I agree with createhappinness.... and you need to be honnest about how you feel.. not saying you need to tell him, but pretending you are "using him" as well is very destructive. He probably knows how you feel and if he doesn't , then he is dense and totally disconnected and please do yourself a favor and ignore him completelly!!! Link to comment
buba Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 All I can do is try....Seing him tonight. I have zero respect for myself at this point. I am mad at myself. And your comments are making a lot of sense... i could come up with many more lame excuses... There is no point though....I know. I don't even want to defend myself any longer. I will try to deal with it the best I can...sucks to be someone's doormat.I know. I won't make any promises, but I will try... Link to comment
Samedy Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Have you looked for another guy? Even if it were a causal e-relationship, it might be healthier for yourself to talk to a guy respects you. Link to comment
buba Posted May 2, 2009 Author Share Posted May 2, 2009 I met with him. He asked me if I wanted to go to the beach together...I didn't go. I guess, deep inside I am mad at him for his betrayal and this "casual" thing that is taking place now...I don't want to go places with him like we used to... So, he stopped by my place and we watched a movie...I was pretty bored. Things will never be the same for me again. I told him that I was really tired and it was late. He left right after the movie and I am actually ok with it. I am not hurting or questioning anything. I guess, he wants to go out places and do the things like we used to, but keep our relationship casual. I am not at all interested in this kind of thing. Honestly, I think that I kind of stopped caring. He betrayed me once...he will do it again. He can do what he wants. I will continue nc on my part. If he calls, I will ignore...I don't know if this state will last. I hope it will... Today, I don't even want him around. I feel pretty content actually. praying that it will last.... Link to comment
buba Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Last night I learned that my father passed away....He wasn't sick and it was very unexpected...We were making plans to spend a few months in the fall together(he lives in a different country and visits every year for a few months). We were very close. I am devastated. My ex came to support me...I thought it was nice of him....I am having such terrible luck... I really miss my dad. Can't believe that I will never see him again... Link to comment
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