Jump to content

Recommended Posts

To make a long story short...we dated for almost a year. He met someone else and left me for her. They were from the same cultural background. I was devastated, heartbroken, told him to never talk to me again,just started to heal....

Five weeks later(i did complete NC) he calls (3 days ago). He tells me that he really misses me and things didn't work out between them. He said that he left her, because they are two different people and have very little in common....surprise!!!! I thought he was going to marry her one day.

He begged me to see him. I said that I was tired and didn't feel like company. It was 11p.m.

The next day he calls early, round 5p.m. and begs me to see him.

I agreed. He comes over with a huge arrangement of flowers and talks about missing me and how different I am from the rest....

We have a few glasses of wine and he spends the night....

I realize that I still have a lot of feelings for him. He leaves the next morning(yesterday) and I never heard a word from him since. We used to talk all the time when we were together...

Now I wonder if he was just testing the waters...if I am still availible...

May be they are still together...I feel like a stupid fool. I should of never slept with him. I should of showed him the door, because now I am hurting again, but I will not contact him in any way. I decided to not call/text or email him no matter what. What was it all about? Ha! I thought he was back for good.....

Can you give me some advice on what I should do?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 63
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Don't even answer his calls...he is a loser...PERIOD! He just came back to use you and once again he disappeared.


I spoke to you before when you were feeling suicidal....he is a player...I would feel sorry for anyone he is with, because he just a low class, low life.


Your so pretty why waste your life with a joker like him when you can get any guy you want ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Honestly, if I were you, I would just ignore him from here on out. Go back to the life that you had before all of this went down. You'll just have to move on and try not to let it bother you. I've said it before on here, old flames burn out quickly. Hopefully you were able to get him out of your system completely now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you guys for all your emotional support....


I should really see the red flags. He is a player and it's so easy to believe his lies.

The only thing I was proud of is my ability to do complete NC for 5 weeks....I thought I will never hear from him again. I guess it got him curious...

So, he just wanted to make sure that I still care...and, sadly, I do.

But it angers me. I should of never let him spend the night....

I really trusted him...i thought he was back for good...I was ready to forgive him the betrayal.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Karma....I would of loved for him to get his karma...

when we were in a relationship, we had great chemistry, travelled a lot together...

It was very comfortable to have him around. He was very kind and loving...until he told me that he met someone and has feelings for her. She made the first move and he was extremely curious....I told him to get lost after he offered to see both of us until I meet someone..so, I don't hurt as much, heh.

I did complete NC, was pretty angry for a while, but started to get over this.

I wasn't dating...started to work on my Doctoral Dissertation and went on vacation to Mexico.

I was doing ok....and now I am hurt again.

Has anyone experienced similar situation? Do you think he was really curious? if I am still alone....?I wish I wasn't. Too late now. Feel stupid. do they often come back for a little while after NC?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We all do stupid stupid things. All of us. Don't beat yourself up. You didn't hurt anybody, he did.


So true.This guy does not represent the true and genuine guy out there.I know if I had a chance of reconciliation I would give it my all and be thankful for that chance.His behavior is disgusting,but as Anna said,you didn't hurt anybody,so be good to yourself.>>>

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am trying...I am sure that I am not the only one out there going through this. This forum is a great place to get comfort and understanding. I read somewhere that you should never sleep with your ex unless he is ready to commit. I am not proud of my decision, but I really thought he was coming back to me....he said that he missed me so much, heh...

well, go figure...

i want to ask men out there....what do you think his intentions were?

i am kind of lost.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just a word of advice to those who are doing NC.....

Don't break it!!!!!! I wish i didn't. I am back to square one again. Have to start over.

I don't know what it takes for them to really regret loosing you and come back for good, but they have to really work hard on getting you back.

I was just a booty call....with all kinds of "I missed you so much, etc..."

Don't buy into it! ever!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

buba - that really sucks what happened to you. I sympathize with your pain. It hurts, it's controlling, and it's overwhelming at points.


You're probably feeling lonely, used, insecure, and questioning your value. This is normal, healthy, and part of the healing process. It's not going to get any better before it gets worse, and you've been there before, so let time take it's toll.


Feel it, journal it, express yourself through other outlets. When something seems impossible to do, that probably means you should try to do it, with the exception of breaking NC.


Let's just say you know how you to prioritize. When someone wants to hang out, they'll make time for you, regardless. It seems someone's not prioritizing you the way you deserve to be treated. Sucks, but soon enough, he'll hurt just as bad, perhaps worse. It's the same for both sexes. Take that as you will.


There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're an incredibly smart, attractive, and an experienced life adventurer. You're getting your doctorate, you live in the best state in the US, and you're entering the prime of your life. Nobody can take that away.


Just keep posting. It's tough, but even talking to yourself and collecting your own thoughts is carthatic.


You can do it! I've been there, I know you're going to get over this!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's awful....what I did...

I am so hard on myself for trusting the jerk.

God! I am furious.

How could I be so naive? What was I thinking?

I am really bummed over this and it gets worse with every passing day...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

he called late last night....

I was calm and said that I was busy...

he asked me plenty of questions about my life(nothing about us).

I said that I should be going and we will talk later.

he said that he will call me on Wednesday, possibly we can meet?

I said...we'll talk.

Why can't I just tell him off? I still have feelings for him. I really do...

What should i do?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When he calls, come back to your thread, and read how crappy he made you feel after.


And if you finally make the decision to cut him out of your life, the next time he says "I'll call you Wednesday", tell him not to.


I'm also guessing, that if he doesn't call you on Wednesday you will start to go through the same processes and feeling as you just did. In which case, when he finally does call don't answer. Wait a few days to get back to him, as he did to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...