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Break up over surprise visit


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I came to surprise my boyfriend as they tell you inLDR books,because we had a little rough time ltely,he felt lonely and depressed.i di not go tohis house ,just caled him from the airport,and i got a cold message from him,he stated he is really mad because i flew over there,its over,goodbye.Then i cried and left him a message he texted .I CANNOT TALK RIGHT NOW.GO HOME.FOR THIS YOU LOOS ME.YOU KNOW I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS.He was not in the town at that time,but the hone conversation took 2 minutes only.Then next day he deleteme from his msn and websitesaying that cannot be with someone that dont even listen to him.I m talking about a year LDR,and we both 29.I really loved this guy and helped him a lot.and there is his welcome.Why did he dumped me like that?

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Wow! I am so sorry you had to deal with such a jerk.

 

It sounds to me he was using you and getting what he could. He sounds suspicious. Maybe he found himself another sugarmama.

 

Sometimes there aren't any answers to why jerks do what they do and not caring who they hurt along the way. It seems as though he did you a favor whether you see it that way or not at the moment. Cry it out, talk it out, whatever you have to do to pick yourself back up and meet a good guy.

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I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you. That was so unkind of him.

It sounds like he had something to hide and that is why he didnt like the "surprise" - like maybe another girl was staying over at his house.

He sounds like a loser if he was expecting you to pay for everything. You are better off without him. You deserve a nice man who wants to give *you* nice presents like that.

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We're only hearing part of the story. Why did you go to see him unnannounced?

I know I hate it when people do this to me, and it doesn;t mean I have anything to hide.

Maybe it was just a bad time. Maybe his house was a wreck, maybe he had people

visiting, any number of things. What context did you go to see him? Was it

because you were feeling like you were losing him or because he was pulling away?

If so this was absolutely the worse thing you could have done. When someone pulls away you need to just leave them alone and let them go.

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We're only hearing part of the story. Why did you go to see him unnannounced?

I know I hate it when people do this to me, and it doesn;t mean I have anything to hide.

Maybe it was just a bad time. Maybe his house was a wreck, maybe he had people

visiting, any number of things. What context did you go to see him? Was it

because you were feeling like you were losing him or because he was pulling away?

If so this was absolutely the worse thing you could have done. When someone pulls away you need to just leave them alone and let them go.

 

This is more how I was thinking as well..

 

My ex did something similar , showed up unannounced because I wasn't talking to him at the time (Told him I needed time to think about our relationship) so he took it upon himself to drive an hour and a half to my house. It pissed me off.

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well i did not go to his house,h was not even in the town at that moment.he never did introduce m to his family,so i allways stood at hotel.well yes i did fell like he was pulling away,and i did flw 5 hours...

 

Regardless of whether you went to his house or not you still traveled to see him when you were already on rocky terms without him knowing, while it isn't the nicest thing what he did it was also wrong on your part to just basically show up, call him and be like "hey im in town".. besides, he wasn't even in town what did you expect to do?

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well he quit asking me for money like he was before,found out the sentimental cards he was sending to me ,he sent to a bunch of womenon th pc i bought him,did not want to introduce me to his family,he did not want our picture together on my space or msn,he did not want m to call his house....what would you think?

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Well i spent in total over 1000$ just to o to see him...he was not there,but saying its ovr,thats what really did hurt,i spent on his bills another 1000 within 6 month and his 2 tickets i paid when he came and see me....i guess he was pulling away,and my fault was trying to hold on to him

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Well i spent in total over 1000$ just to o to see him...he was not there,but saying its ovr,thats what really did hurt,i spent on his bills another 1000 within 6 month and his 2 tickets i paid when he came and see me....i guess he was pulling away,and my fault was trying to hold on to him

 

Sorry to say but he was using you for money and when you traveled out to see him it ruined his "game". It sucks and i'm sorry it happened but all you can do is pick up the pieces and learn from this. Don't help out anyone who seems too good to be true.

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I'm sorry this happened to you=(

 

But if he didn't want anyone to know about you, then I'm nearly 95% sure he has someone else.

 

And agree with Jig is up, he prob is married. I'm sorry=(

 

He sounds like a jerk anyways though.

 

Did you ever meet in person or hang out?

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I suspect that he is either married or living with someone. There is not reason to have such a hostile reception to someone who is in theory his girlfriend, unless he is trying to scare you away to avoid getting caught.

 

Unfortunately it happens all the time, where married men advertise for long distance women so they can get some sex on the side (and in his case money), but they will eventually drop you when you get too close for comfort or it looks like you'll find out they lied or their wives/live in girlfriend will discover you.

 

I would just drop this guy and not look back. At best he's mean and surly, and at worst he is married or living with someone and lied to you about his availability status.

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Im really sorry about this... flying 5 hours and paying the money for... nothing!

 

Hes a jerk. Yea, some people dont like surprise visit. But that is no justification to treat your SO like that. And BREAKING UP? Look, if he really cared about you and genuinely loved you, he wouldve welcomed you EVEN if he wasnt rly too thrilled about the unannounced visit....

 

I would bet that he is married or has someone else!!! Theres no way he would BREAK UP with you in such cold way if he didnt have anything to hide. Feel glad that youre rid of this loser!

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Its me again...it will be 2 weeks tomorrow since the break up .The break up conversation lasted not even 2 minutes.I still see in front of my eyes,his text message angry and cold sent twice after i was crying,READ IT.ITS OVER.DONNT CALL ME,GO HOME.I sent him just a polit text message Happy easter,and he responded,same to you.Wonder why did he hate me so much after i was faithfull to him,sent him money,loved him,and allways the one to calm him down.It breaks my heart when i see how he lies to women on the computer i bought for him and told m i was the best and nicest girl.Deleted me form his MSN.Why is he so hateful???

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