Sex help!!!!

[MrsPotatoHead]

I need help. Im in a relationship with a three year gap between myself and my boyfriend. i have already told him that i am not ready to have sex and he was completely fine with it. he has never pushed me and i know he never will.

 

The only thing is i do want sex. But im scared and i dont want to tell him just incase he thinks im weird.

What should i do???

[PsychGirly]

You're saying "you're not ready", & then you say "you want sex".

 

I'm a bit confused.

[forever1130]

yeah, it seems a little contradictory.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Why did you tell him you weren't?

[SamiJayne]

A good relationship, needs trust, loyalty, and comunication!

 

So you need to tell him, other wise you'll worry yourself silly.

 

Sex the first time is really scary.

 

If you can't talk to him face to face, write him a letter explaining how your feeling, or email him, text him or phone him.

 

You really do need to learn to talk to your partner about these sorts of things.

 

Hope things go well xxx

And your boyfriend sounds really good for you xxx

[PsychGirly]

Either way, I don't think you're ready for sex.

 

In your other thread, you mentioned you're "knocking teeth" with this guy while kissing.

 

I think you should work on kissing before you jump into anything else. Plus, 15 is a bit too young to be thinking about sex.

[forever1130]

i guess i could understand if it was awhile ago that you told him you were ready, and just recently have decided that you were. if that's the case, i pretty sure your boyfriend isn't gonna think you're weird... he'll probably be very happy lol

[Cognitive_Canine]

Either way, I don't think you're ready for sex.

 

In your other thread, you mentioned you're "knocking teeth" with this guy while kissing.

 

I think you should work on kissing before you jump into anything else. Plus, 15 is a bit too young to be thinking about sex.

 

I agree with this.

 

If you are afraid that he'll break up with you over kissing and you aren't even comfortable enough to talk to him about kissing...how could you possibly talk to him about sex.

 

Before you have sex, you should talk to your partner about sex. Talk to them about birth control, condoms, your beliefs, your wants/needs in bed, what kind of sex you think you'd enjoy, abortion, beliefs, and such....

[MrsPotatoHead]

Either way, I don't think you're ready for sex.

 

In your other thread, you mentioned you're "knocking teeth" with this guy while kissing.

 

I think you should work on kissing before you jump into anything else. Plus, 15 is a bit too young to be thinking about sex.

 

 

 

I talked to him after posting that, he is fine with it and he hadnt even noticed and he just said i was silly for worrying

 

 

But ppl im confused because i do want sex but im scared and because im scared i said i wasnt ready so im just confused and no one has really helped me so far just made me feel worse. No offence.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I talked to him after posting that, he is fine with it and he hadnt even noticed and he just said i was silly for worrying

 

 

But ppl im confused because i do want sex but im scared and because im scared i said i wasnt ready so im just confused and no one has really helped me so far just made me feel worse. No offence.

 

You want sex...but you are scared of sex. Which means...you are not ready for sex.

[MrsPotatoHead]

Talk to them about birth control, condoms, your beliefs, your wants/needs in bed, what kind of sex you think you'd enjoy, abortion, beliefs, and such....

 

Im not a child. No offence im scared because of all that stuff, im super sencible and thats why i always think about the worst before anything else.

[PsychGirly]

I talked to him after posting that, he is fine with it and he hadnt even noticed and he just said i was silly for worrying

 

 

But ppl im confused because i do want sex but im scared and because im scared i said i wasnt ready so im just confused and no one has really helped me so far just made me feel worse. No offence.

 

If you're scared of sex, then that definitely means you're not ready.

 

You should only have sex if:

*You know what the consequences are and are prepared to face them.

*You know who you're doing it with, & feel that you're ready.

*You aren't just doing it for the physical pleasure.

*You don't feel pressured because "everyone else is doing it".

[Cognitive_Canine]

Im not a child. No offence im scared because of all that stuff, im super sencible and thats why i always think about the worst before anything else.

 

But have you talked to him about it?

[konstantine]

It's OK to be scared, but I think you should wait until you aren't so scared. When it feels comfortable and natural. That's what I did and I couldn't have been happier. There's no need to force it and if you really are 15, you're too young. Like others said, if you can't even talk to him about these things, maybe you aren't ready.

[MrsPotatoHead]

You should only have sex if:

*You know what the consequences are and are prepared to face them.

*You know who you're doing it with, & feel that you're ready.

*You aren't just doing it for the physical pleasure.

*You don't feel pressured because "everyone else is doing it".

 

exactly and i am all those things. i think to be honest its my own insecurities, its probably the fact that he has had sex with other girls before he met me and im a vergin. I dont want to be rated i think thats my worry.

[PsychGirly]

exactly and i am all those things. i think to be honest its my own insecurities, its probably the fact that he has had sex with other girls before he met me and im a vergin. I dont want to be rated i think thats my worry.

 

Sweety, if you're worried about being "rated", you're definitely not ready to have sex.

 

I know you said our replies are only "making you feel worse", but if you're having doubts, don't do it.

 

I was 19 when I lost my virginity, & I wish I had thought about it more before I made that decision.

 

You're too young...no matter how you feel about the person at this point, no matter how long you've been with him, how attracted you are to him...it's too early.

[Lamour detruit]

To be honest, it just sounds like his asking and your views on what you think should do in a relationship is making you feel like you need to have sex now. When you're ready to have sex, you are not scared of it nor do you keep doubting yourself, hence you should wait. I realise there are many expectations and people with different opinions, but you will know later on in your life when you are ready for it.

[Cognitive_Canine]

If you go through and read about people's first times. Often people wish they would have waited later. Why rush it?

[MrsPotatoHead]

I was 19 when I lost my virginity

 

Thankyouu that has made me feel so much better.

My boyfriend doesnt mind that im not ready because i have already spoken to him about it and all he has been is nice to me.

Im not ready.

But how will i know when i am ready??

[Cognitive_Canine]

Thankyouu that has made me feel so much better.

My boyfriend doesnt mind that im not ready because i have already spoken to him about it and all he has been is nice to me.

Im not ready.

But how will i know when i am ready??

 

When you don't even have to ask yourself. Trust me. One day it will just be crystal clear.

 

It's the same with love. If you have to ask, you're not in love. If you have to ask, you're not ready.

[coldplay.]

No it comes down to this.

 

Are you ready to have a kid, and is your boyfriend ready to have a kid?

 

You are going to make irrational decisions when you start having sex that young EVERYONE DOES, i did, every single person does that ive talked to. People do all sorts of insane things, move in with each other, run away, its just insane.

 

Sex at that age only produces mistakes and regret i promise you. But also every single person including myself was to dense to take others advice.

 

Your going to do what you want to do regardless of what we say, but if you pop out a kid, no advice forum in the world can help you.

[diabolik]

Im not a child.

Aren't you 15? When you're 20, come back and tell us if you were a child when you were 15.

 

You're too young...no matter how you feel about the person at this point, no matter how long you've been with him, how attracted you are to him...it's too early.

+1

 

Your going to do what you want to do regardless of what we say

Yep, when I was her age I thought I knew it all too. Now, the older I get, the more I realize I don't know.

[Siriana]

It's o.k. not being sure about it yet.

If you were you wouldn't ask, right?

Also it's perfectly normal to be curious about it when 15, but at the same time not completely ready.

I guess you feel like you should be more ready/more sure...Those things sort themselves out naturally. Your gut instinct is always right. Never doubt it. We always know what we really should/shouldn't do and what we really want/don't want to do.

The best thing a person can do in life is to stand by his/hers values and opinions.

Right now the most important thing is to learn how to make choices. That's hard when you're 15 and even when much older. Learning to be independent instead part of the herd and learning to value yourself based on what you believe not what other people expect you to be (i.e. friends).

Good luck

[mcwrestler]

I completely agree with many of the people posting on here. If you are not sure and are scared you are not ready. I just asked myself the question that diabolik posed and the answer is also scary. I realize that at 15 I did not know near what I do now at 22 and I realize that I have made some not so wise decisions. There is no shame in waiting and that is what you should consider. Also, not everyone else is doing it, no matter what it seems like. When you look back on it you will realize really how young 15 is.

[PsychGirly]

Let me share my experience with you, & it may shine some light on your situation:

 

I was 19. I was head over heels in love with the guy I thought I'd end up with. He loved me, I loved him. I thought I wasn't "a kid", regardless of what others said. I thought I was ready to make my own decisions.

 

I lost my virginity to him, even though I was a bit hesitant about it. I ended up getting pregnant, & we had never discussed children. We both agreed we weren't ready, so I ended up having an abortion.

 

Although this is something very personal to me, I really want to share this with you because I don't want you making the wrong decision.

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex until you're 30, but really...I don't think anyone knows what they're doing & the decisions they're making before the age of 20.

 

I'm sure everyone on here can share a story about something they did before the age of 20 (and even after) that they ended up regretting because they weren't "ready" & didn't think out their decision well enough.

 

So, please...don't have sex just because your bf has had sex in the past & you want to satisfy him. Do it when you're ready, & really consider all the consequences.