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Getting out of the "rut?"


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So it ended few weeks ago, did 1 week + 3 days NC, in attempts to give space ...we were on good terms..now i know its over so i started NC for good. I am completely torn. The mixed thoughts of "hope" still hoovering in my head, the good times. I am trying to replace those with myself, but i tend to focus more on her thoughts right now, what shes doing, hoping shes not seeing anyone.

 

Ive been so low and down these last few weeks. I initiated the break because i was feeling indifferent and questioning the relationship, when i wanted her back she had enough, cut loses. I wasnt treating her well, i wasnt emotionally there for last month or 2. I miss her dearly, but i keep telling myself shes not the same person i once had, her life has been changing, she more active and getting out there. Maybe it will sink in more for her as time passes by?

I wanted this to be for people to RANT, vent, on how there feeling, as well as what you did to get out of the "rut". Its been a job getting 2 meals down a day, i have some days where im semi positive, but quickly get low. I want to be Productive, and work on myself. I have a hard time getting the energy or motivation to put forth any effort. Ive always kinda had a problem with motivation, i tend to do enough to get by. I wish i wasnt like this. This just makes it even harder. I see her and seems like shes gonna pull through this quicker and better herself while im just living day to day. What did you do? how long did it take for you to get back on your feet. are you going through this too?

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well this thread doesnt seem to be a hit, i guess ill just blog in it for my own good! Yesterday i actually had a better day for the most part thought about ME! ME! ME! My goals, things i need to do, my FUTURE etc. (Now to turn those thoughts into actions..the hard part lol) I ate a bit more yesterday, tried to keep positive. I know im gonna bounce back, but thats progress. The worst part for me seems to be.....

Waking up in the morning. Thats where i wake up hoping everything was a dream, and knowing she really is out of my life. Then the thoughts of wondering what she thinks, been doing. I try to quickly block those out, but yes morning seems to be the most empty still...Lets see how the rest of my day goes.

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Hmmm maybe not tha tmany people r motivated? lol. I am finding this a problem....be more motivated in things and getting out of a rut. I dont even know how I managed the things I did after our break up...landing a internship in a top 5 global agency, decided to pick up and move to another country and landing a job with in 10 days....keeping that job for 1.5 years! I still have the job...but desided I wanted to move to another country...I know I know...u all will think what is up w all the moving? My family is the type where we all travel a lot and live in different cities...my sister has also moved around to 3 different countries in the past few years and my dad travels 6 months of the year for work...we are a family on the go....anyways i dont know how I even managed to get this far after the break up! I have been broken up a while and STILL struggle for motivation...maybe it iwas bc i was stupid and stayed friends w the ex...only the past few months we are not friends and im trying to move on...but broke no contact and feel bad all over again....

 

Anyways...I guess the only thing is to take it day by day...how I managed to get this far? I dont know! I hope I can snap out of it though....and actually start really living my life...I feel like the past two years I have been living in a fog.....whcih is why I think its a wonder I made it this far...hopefully I SNAP out of it soon and start enjoying myself more and feel content and at peace!

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thanks for replying! Yea i just want to be happy again and feel good about where my life is going, take action instead of thinking it! Its amazing to hear all that you have done since! I always wanted to move to another country for a while but being a USA citizen it seems hard, Unless you are studying abroad, or internship, or a highly skilled profession, none of which apply! I am going on two trips coming up, 1 to london, hopefully that will do some good mentally for me!

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Actually....I am American and it is possible

 

I did my undergrad and masters un the UK and could not work there bc I did not have a working visa..so had to leave the country. I left to another country bc I did not want to move back to the USA...worked one year and qualified for the highly skilled migrant visa...so now moving to london in a few months...and BTW the highly skilled migrant visa...all u have to have is a masters and make the equivalent to 20,000 british pounds...if u want to work somewhere else....do ur research...where there is a will there is a way.

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I'm there with you JoshB, so I don't have any advice, but am open to it myself. You sound pretty good, though, planning a trip to London.

 

And CocoButter, you sound good too, making new choices and decisions, AND you have your Masters. Good for you, it shows you make goals and attain them.

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