Aeryn Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 My ex broke up with me. I went two weeks of NC, before I finally decided that I had to say something...I'm glad I did, because what I said honestly made me feel better in the long-run. Anyways...two weeks of NC, and he never once tried contacting me or anything. He will not initiate contact. However, if I initiate the contact, he will reply. I saw him in class yesterday, and we were walking out to our cars at the same time. He didn't look at me, wave to me, say hi, or anything. He saw me, but just acted very nonchalant--like I never even existed. I'm back into NC. I will not break it again, because I said everything I needed to say to him. But if he were so in love with me...wouldn't he be trying to contact me? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that, when we broke up, I told him I didn't want to hear from him again unless he had considered a possibility of reconciling? How long were you in NC before you heard from the ex again, if ever? Link to comment
journeynow Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Aerorobyn, I am one week into NC with my husband, and am a bit torn up about it too. I think about contacting him often and wonder if he is wanting to contact me, but I feel so confused the way things have been (friendly daily phone calls, but he wants to be single, and just friends) that NC helps me try to make sense of what I want and need. Still not clear myself, so am continuing NC. One the one hand I don't want him to think I don't care, but on the other hand I need to stop worrying about what he thinks and get a grip on my own self. Link to comment
and again Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I went 5 weeks before breaking nc thought she had a personal problem. Then she broke it after another 5 weeks. Link to comment
Joshb Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 i did 1 week 3 days..then we talked hung out..i initiated..but now i know its really over and she doing her right now..i started official NC 3days ago. im torn too Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 No contact isn’t about getting him to call you. That’s not how you should be looking at it. There is no guarantee you will ever hear from him again. In past breakups it’s been weeks, months, and even years before I ever heard from EX’s. Generally, it wasn’t for reconciliation either. Link to comment
Laura11111 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 My ex (of 6 years) and I broke-up in early August and we talked a bit until late October because we lived together (needed to sort things out). So...we're going on around five months of NC. I was actually thinking about contacting him today to see how he's doing. I probably won't...lol. Link to comment
Aeryn Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 No contact isn’t about getting him to call you. That’s not how you should be looking at it. There is no guarantee you will ever hear from him again. In past breakups it’s been weeks, months, and even years before I ever heard from EX’s. Generally, it wasn’t for reconciliation either. That's not at all how I'm looking at it. NC is what's best for me. But I just wonder how he could possibly be so distant, when at one point I meant the world to him and he couldn't go a day without talking to me on the phone. Link to comment
and again Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 No contact isn’t about getting him to call you. That’s not how you should be looking at it. There is no guarantee you will ever hear from him again. In past breakups it’s been weeks, months, and even years before I ever heard from EX’s. Generally, it wasn’t for reconciliation either. I dont know if you have read any of my posts? But why would an ex contact me after 5 weeks, haveing missed me still loves me, we get together for 4 days get on perfect, as good as ever then run way again. Its harder this time as iknow she still loves me but is messed up and seems to have let me go for my own good, when i would love to try and work thing through with her. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I dont know if you have read any of my posts? But why would an ex contact me after 5 weeks, haveing missed me still loves me, we get together for 4 days get on perfect, as good as ever then run way again. Its harder this time as iknow she still loves me but is messed up and seems to have let me go for my own good, when i would love to try and work thing through with her. No, I haven't read your previous posts. That does sound rather odd though. My guess is you may have moved just a bit too fast for her. Give it time... wait to see if she contacts you. Take it slow... Link to comment
and again Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 No, I haven't read your previous posts. That does sound rather odd though. My guess is you may have moved just a bit too fast for her. Give it time... wait to see if she contacts you. Take it slow... No i didnt take it to fast, when met up after talking on phone for twodays, she jumped right in talking big future, i didnt say no but held back a bit, she said you dont sound so sure, but i dont blame you after me hurting you last time. i know it will take time. After that we were very good together laghed , stayed the night etc, nxt day she rings and says we should just go friends with benifits for a bit, due to last few months, i was bit shocked but agreed. Met on the sat got on great again, really good. By the sunday she said she may never be able to have a full on rel due to past, and said we should just be friends, get on with your life and forget me be happy, i will never ever go with anyone again im not interested. talked to her sis she said ex had been saying all time we were apart, that im all she ever wanted, sis seen us out sat and couldnt work it out, as ex was smileing all night and all over me. Link to comment
philove Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 31 days... I'm currently on 19 days NC after she broke it last time but things didn't end so well the last time she got in contact so I reckon she will get back in contact around 40-50 days. Link to comment
and again Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 31 days... I'm currently on 19 days NC after she broke it last time but things didn't end so well the last time she got in contact so I reckon she will get back in contact around 40-50 days. How do you mean things dint go well mate? Link to comment
kiter Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 3 weeks: she asked if we could talk, we met, I thought reconciliation but no it was just her crying and complaining about her new situation Back to NC for 7 weeks she randomly shows up at my house unannounced to pick up some stuff (really nothing) Back to NC for another 6-7 weeks she shows up at a regular spot she knows I go to every morning and asks if she can sit down and talk with me. Back to NC for another 10 days Receive a call, dont answer, and dont call back Back to NC now for who knows how long.... Link to comment
jennamajig Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Months thus far and nada...he'll never be contacting me and frankly, it's probably all for the best. Wow, I can't believe I wrote that and believe it Link to comment
SamiJayne Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 My ex and I stayed friends after a horrible 5 years. Until he started dating the girl he cheated on me with, and she stopped him contacting me. Which he was happy to do so. It's been over 3 years since I last spoke to him. Don't plan on talking to him again. But the first few weeks after the break up, I would go back to him. Tell him I loved him. ect. And we'd try to fix things, even though he carried on doing the things that broke us apart. But I didn't really love him, I was just scared of the unknown. Being alone.. Wondering if anyone would ever love me ect. Link to comment
RunMeRound Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I just heard from my ex for the first time in 2.5 months. I was pretty surprised but I'm pretty much over him and don't intend to reply. Link to comment
viajera Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I unfortunately had to break NC after a month. We split up 6 weeks ago, talked (ostensibly working through things, but really going in circles) for 2 weeks, then we agreed to NC. Last night I called him, because I had a strong intuition that he had actually filed our marriage papers, even though he'd led me to believe he had not. I'm going to be near his hometown next week (a day's travel away from where I live), and wanted to take care of the legal stuff while I was there, if necessary. Sure enough, we're still married. He hadn't bothered to tell me nor bothered to do anything about it (one person can file for divorce alone in his country - he didn't need me there). Who knows when/if he was EVER going to tell me. I'm so freakin' angry and sad right now - both about the lies and the fact that I'm going to have to see him and go back to the place where we were married and spent so many happy times. Not to mention how thrilled I am about figuring out how to navigate the legal system in a foreign country. I was just beginning to move on! Link to comment
sandrawg Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I went for a month NC before my ex contacted me on a Monday saying "I wanted to call you over the weekend but didn't know what to say." Link to comment
philove Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 How do you mean things dint go well mate? I basically told her a few home truths about herself which she didn't take to well! I didn't do it with any malicious intent, I just wanted to plant the seed in her head and leave it as that. I have done all I can to help her, now it's up to her to act upon it. I am moving on great and for once she doesn't occupy my thoughts 24/7 Link to comment
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