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30 days of complete NC done...now what?!

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Well, I guess I will start this by saying the now what is kind of rhetorical. I know that it just has to continue, as tough as that may be.


Its funny that last night was the first restless night in weeks, thinking of her. I must have turned and looked at the clock 6 times through the night. For some reason I allowed my mind to go into what if's and just never got settled enough to sleep it off.


Anyway, where exactly am I after 30 days? I don't feel as anxious as I did when it all happened (the breakup), but I don't feel much better than I did the day I instituted this action. I still think of her way too much, and am still flooded with memories. I am also hopeless at connecting anything remotely possible I see or hear to her. While it was a long distance deal, she was here lots in the first 2 years, so there is not a place I can go where there isn't a memory of her.


She did try to contact me twice in the 30 days, a facebook friend request and an sms from her new number...asking if my number was still active. She didn't put her name to it. I don't know if that's a sign she misses me and wanted to start contact indirectly or what. I guess she may be respecting the NC but kind of wanted to lead me into breaking it rather than just saying she wanted it over.


She's still with someone else I assume, but its good I don't know any details. She was only with the guy 4 days before I left for NC.


Where to from here? I have no clue. I thought she would crack well inside of 30 days, but I also never really thought I would be strong enough to withstand it either, and Im the hurt, alone one, not her, so its gotta be easier on her.


Having said that, she has NO clue what I am up to, WHY I have been able to seemingly just cut her out of my life, and NO idea if I will crack and contact her.


I can answer her the last one - I won't.

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i'm approaching my 30 days this friday and i am sure i too will be thinking - now what? but given my situation, i know there is no alternative, so i will forge my way onward without doubt. but it still feels so weird and wrong NOT to be speaking w/ someone who i've dated 3 years, known for 4 - yet it feels so right, that it's definitely the right thing to be doing.


so now what, you ask? well, 30 days is a great accomplishment so you should be very proud of yourself and somehow celebrate it! you've gone through 30, you are certainly capable of doing another month, and so on, and then you'll get to a point of not counting anymore and thinking of her less and less - all the while gaining your attractive confidence back.


of course, this is what i'm hoping for myself too. stay strong!

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Congrats ! Now continue to close the door and work for another 30 days this time focusing on getting YOU back ie take this time to be more loving and patient with yourself ... to better understand who you are and what are your innermost needs values and dreams ...if you try to focus there you will find more than enough "distraction "...happy healing!

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Thanks guys, I will certainly brace for another 30 days. She has a history of keeping in touch with ex's that meant something to her (well, one), and was messaging him 120 times a day when she dumped me. I thought he was the issue just before she broke things off, had no clue it was someone else she would run off to.


I have to deal with the fact that right now, she probably doesn't miss me, and worse, is probably happy with the new dude AND convinced he is the solution and I was the problem.

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I might add...its sad to think that they give someone new all their effort, and yet had she just put in even 50% effort at the time of the breakup, we could have made it. She gave up way too soon, there was still pretty strong love there on both sides, she just gave our reconciliation way too short a life (7 weeks).

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Congrats on reaching Day 30


Put yourself first, do the things YOU want to do that you never could with her, think about the bad things she did and said, but use them in a positive way -- to see that it was for the best that you're not together anymore.


That's how I'm doing it, anyways, and it seems to be working well... but then again when I decide to quit doing something, I can pretty much do it once I've put my mind to it, with no problems.

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but then again when I decide to quit doing something, I can pretty much do it once I've put my mind to it, with no problems.


That's a great attitude, not just with relationships and getting over your ex but anything in life. Determination is key...

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