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She's 19, I'm 28, but...


JustBeachy
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...we have practically everything in common. There's never a dull moment and we have a ton of fun together. For example, we literally talked for 6 hours tonight! Crazy! We both live in Houston, but are both from New Orleans originally, have the same bday, went to the same college, etc. Very sweet girl without a bad bone in her body. Friends keep telling me not to pursue it because of her age, but I really like her. They haven't met her though, so they don't know what she's like, except for what I say, which is always good things. I don't think the age difference is too bad. I know, I was young, dumb, and didn't know what I wanted at 19, but I figured it's still worth a shot. Opinions?

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If you think it's worth a shot and there's potential, go for it.

 

My family is ALL older male/younger female relationships (and I do mean older...nearly all couples in my family are 8-18 years apart). Some of them have worked, others haven't.

 

It's really up to you and her, if yall really like each other and want to have a genuine relationship with each other. Don't listen to the friends! Listen to yourself!

 

Sometimes I wish an older (24-28.) guy would pursue me. Or at least someone who has the mentality of an older man. I'm tired of dating and having relationships with little boys who think they're still in high school.

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I was a college student from 24-28 so I had that come up from time to time. I was always afraid they would feel the need to explore the whole club scene that a lot of people including myself did at 21. I'd rather eat a shotgun blast than go to a club now. Also they may have been mature but the friends were not really. I remember looking around one time and thinking I was around a bunch of little kids.

 

Nothing ever lasted longer than 2-3 dates.

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She's too young for you dude. You may *think* you have a lot in common, but wait until you start dating - you'll realize that, "hey, let's go to the pub for a drink" becomes "oh, I guess we'll just have to get a movie because you can't go to the pubs".

 

That's just one example, but you'll find a whole lot of other differences, such as dependance on parents, for both financial support and approval...not something you require i'm sure but i'll bet she does. There's more. I won't write it all out for you but thought I might give some examples.

 

She's too young. Go ahead if you will, but it's going to be tough.

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I don't think the age difference is too bad. I know, I was young, dumb, and didn't know what I wanted at 19, but I figured it's still worth a shot. Opinions?

 

I agree with this. The fact that she's so young though has the possibility of back firing on you but then again nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're taking a chance but if you think it's worth it then go for it.

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Points well taken. I still like clubs and dancing, so that's not a big deal and she can probably get into the places we usually go, so that's not a big deal. I see what everyone saying. She told me something similar to what Aerorobyn said about wanting an older guy and being tired of these idiot young guys, but what to believe, ya know. We're not in a relationship yet, but have talked about it. She doesn't really depend on her family much. She goes to school full time and works two jobs, has her own place, etc. I guess I'll wait a couple more dates, maybe meet her friends and family and then see what happens.

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You can try it out, pursue it, otherwise you might regret it in the future for not giving it a shot. However, 19 year old girls (I was recently one of them!) are (generalisation) very immature, selfish, and have no idea what they want, nor do they have any idea how relationships work.

If you're looking for a serious relationship I wouldn't pursue her but if you're looking for fun and you're just into her, then go for it.

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Points well taken. I still like clubs and dancing, so that's not a big deal and she can probably get into the places we usually go, so that's not a big deal. I see what everyone saying. She told me something similar to what Aerorobyn said about wanting an older guy and being tired of these idiot young guys, but what to believe, ya know. We're not in a relationship yet, but have talked about it. She doesn't really depend on her family much. She goes to school full time and works two jobs, has her own place, etc. I guess I'll wait a couple more dates, maybe meet her friends and family and then see what happens.

Good idea. Take a step back and make sure you two are on the same page first. Good that she's at least 'out of the house' so to speak, and somewhat independent.

 

If it's going to work for you - you're aces

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Good idea. Take a step back and make sure you two are on the same page first. Good that she's at least 'out of the house' so to speak, and somewhat independent.

 

If it's going to work for you - you're aces

 

 

I'll let you know. Not much works with me in relationships, so I won't expect anything, but you NEVER know.

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Just because she's 19 means nothing.

 

I'm 19, and I'm NOT into the party or clubbing scene AT ALL. I have never let any kind of peer pressure persuade me into doing things that I want to do. Most of my friends--they're all gone now, because they were into the party scene, got knocked up, or married too soon.

 

A lot of 19 year old girls don't know what they want, true. But they are a select few who DO know what they want. You can't place that generalization on everybody.

 

I mean, it's like saying every single 30 year old male is ready for a serious commitment and marriage. I've seen plenty of 30 year old males, and older, who were nowhere near ready for that...they still thought they were 18 or something.

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you're at such diff places in your lives! you're done school and at 28, you're pretty established as a person. she's 19, she's just starting to figure out who she is! you might be the one to be left in the dust when she figures herself out.

 

 

i'm not one to care much about age gap but in this case, it matters because the age around 18-22ish is where most people do the most growing up. if she were 29 and you were 38, it would be no biggie..

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Points well taken. I still like clubs and dancing, so that's not a big deal and she can probably get into the places we usually go, so that's not a big deal. I see what everyone saying. She told me something similar to what Aerorobyn said about wanting an older guy and being tired of these idiot young guys, but what to believe, ya know. We're not in a relationship yet, but have talked about it. She doesn't really depend on her family much. She goes to school full time and works two jobs, has her own place, etc. I guess I'll wait a couple more dates, maybe meet her friends and family and then see what happens.

 

She sounds like me at 19 .....I dated a guy 8 yrs older then me from age 17 to age 23.... It was fine... things ended b/c I grew up and decided I wanted different things out of life. We got along pretty well, had a great time together. We're still good friends.....time went by and I changed alot from 17 to 23 and I wanted a different life.

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Just because she's 19 means nothing.

 

I'm 19, and I'm NOT into the party or clubbing scene AT ALL. I have never let any kind of peer pressure persuade me into doing things that I want to do. Most of my friends--they're all gone now, because they were into the party scene, got knocked up, or married too soon.

 

A lot of 19 year old girls don't know what they want, true. But they are a select few who DO know what they want. You can't place that generalization on everybody.

 

I mean, it's like saying every single 30 year old male is ready for a serious commitment and marriage. I've seen plenty of 30 year old males, and older, who were nowhere near ready for that...they still thought they were 18 or something.

 

Agree absolutely! You re talking just about my man - 30 yo dreamer)) i m eighteen myself but hardly ever been labeled immature. So my bf is pretty happy with everything. Although I still find him changing me more than vice versa. But its all about experience mainly. So these things are easily eliminated, and age gap will be felt weaker and weaker... Hope you make a right decision=)

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I really respect what you are saying but, you can't even get into clubs legally yet and at 19, what you think you want, is usually not what you want in your 20's- I thought I was old enough to be a mother at 20 and you know what? - I told eveyone that they did not know what they were talking about when they told me I did not know crap...guess what....everyone was right, I did not know * * * * ...

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Like I said, I'll play it by ear and see what happens. She is, however, more mature than most girls that are that age. I guess with her dad suddenly passing away just recently and then she almost got killed last month in a car accident, she's grown up in a hurry. We're supposed to be going out on Friday, so I'll let everyone know how it goes.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, not gonna happen. I like her a lot, she likes me a lot, but there's too much drama in her life and I hate drama. I told her that going into it and she promised me that there wouldn't be anything like that, but she couldn't keep that promise, so I'm out. It was worth a shot and I'm glad I took it. It was fun while it lasted.

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