Has this ever worked in your favour?

[twinklet]

I have gotten back with my ex twice now. Things are ok, well as ok as can be expected but there is something that is bugging me.

 

The contact from him seems to be dwindling. We used to text quite a lot, then I noticed it starting to die down, only natural as time progresses I think. But it just seems to be getting worse and worse.

 

He doesn't answer for hours at a time. I know that he can be busy at times, but I have noticed that when he is with me and his friends text him he always replies right away.

 

I also just feel that he just isn't interested enough. I don't know how to explain it really, maybe I am being paranoid but I can't seem to shake the feeling.

 

I have thought that maybe it is because I show him too much attention and he is taking it for granted. I always answer him right away, always make myself available for him when he decides he wants to see me.

 

I have thought about pulling back a bit. Basically mirroring is behaviour towards me to see if it sparks any kind of change. I have done something similar before where I have taken longer than usual to answer him or told him I am busy a few times and he questioned what was wrong so I know he would notice it, problem is I have a hard time keeping it up for longer than a few days or a week.

 

Has anyone else ever tried something like this? What did you do and did it work?

[girl68]

I think that he's just used to having you around. You break up come back, break up come back... it's just so easy for him. He doesn't really seem to care either way.

 

Sounds to me this relationship was dead the first time.

[havefaith]

Just want you to know I have been in your EXACT situation. My ex and I were on and off like this for a year, it was agonizing. I think it ended up hurting so much worse than a quick, one and done split.

 

Basically I did EVERYTHING under the sun to "fix" things. I jumped through hoops, I stood on my head. I showed a lot of attention. I pulled back and never called. I tried to look really cool and hang out with my friends all the time. I tried to tell him how I felt. Things would be ok for a bit, but then dwindle.

 

My question to you: WHY in the world are you settling for "just ok"? You deserve to be HAPPY in your relationship. Truly happy! Here's what happened to me: I met someone else. Someone who would shoot the moon for me. Someone who would text back all the time (imagine that!), loved to hang out with me, would go *totally out of his way*. DON'T let yourself think that these things are supposed to just be in the beginning -- sure you settle into a more longterm, comfortable situation, but a partner should ALWAYS make you feel wanted! They should always be willing to go out of their way, that's what teamwork is about. You should never have to be questioning these things.

 

Honestly, one day you will just have had enough. You'll walk. It will suck, but I can promise you if you choose to learn from this, you will NEVER, EVER make this mistake again. I am dating a wonderful guy now and for the last 8 or so months he has been totally consistent with his texting, behavior, etc. If it seemed to me he was losing interest or backburnering me I just wouldn't have it. Out the door.

 

There's better stuff out there. As my father told me when I was going through this same thing, "Good memories are no reason to keep going." Move on. You won't regret it. As a matter of fact, he probably will. My ex came crying back again... and again... and again. I thank God I didn't stay with him.

[Casey13]

Youre just too available. He knows he can have you at any time he wants so he makes sure to place priority on everything else before you knowing that you will fill just about any void in time. Its what people do, they naturally put priority on things that are less flexible time wise first in his case probably his friends, work and leisure while since youre acting like his door mat you come in to fill his voids when ever he wants you. You have to change this immediately or youll be walked all over and it will get worse