Demarchise Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 When you are a modern day ms. independent how can you make yourself seem not as independent so that guys won't be so intimidated to take a chance on you? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Be friendly. Flirt a little. Socialize. Just be a people's person, and they will all flock to you. Link to comment
live.ur.life Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Be the exact opposite until you can find an inbetween. Go out, meet people....Have a few one-night stands (safely)....& act clingy... Until you can find your sensitive side and open up.... Don't know if this is the advice you want to hear??? But I've seen it done before. Link to comment
diabolik Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Independent, confident women = sexy Link to comment
soursobgirl Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 put it this way all the guys i know are striving to find a self sufficient, independent, sexy woman that isnt clingy. Apparently they dont exsist you should get out there and prove them wrong!!!! Link to comment
laisla Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 guys like independent women. but they also like feminine women. Link to comment
Virgil Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Be the exact opposite until you can find an inbetween. Go out, meet people....Have a few one-night stands (safely)....& act clingy... Until you can find your sensitive side and open up.... Don't know if this is the advice you want to hear??? But I've seen it done before. I do not mean to offend, but my response to this is a flat out NO. If you are independent by nature, than the brutal truth is that any potential partner for you is going to need to be able to deal with that. By all means, open up a little and be social. Ask for assistance with things if you need to (and even occasionally if you don't). As a confident individual myself, I find most people are far more comfortable when you admit that you cannot do something (i.e. when you are confident about what you cannot do as well as about what you can do). Regardless, do not change who you are. Confidence is, at the end of the day, a virtue rather than a vice. I count it among the best qualities both in myself and others. Sure, there will be weak people who feel daunted by you and call you arrogant, but rest assured that there are numerous others who will see it for what it is and love you for it. I guess the overall point is that you should not be out doing things that are not 'you'. If you are not into one night stands (and I do not really blame you) then do not have them just to attract people. You will appeal to all the wrong personalities that way. Good luck, Virgil Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I don't think independent has anything to do with intimidating men because independence does not mean that you don't know how to accept love and caring - in fact, a dependent person does not know how to accept love and caring other than from a needy perspective. Being "dependent" is not the point - it's being willing to be vulnerable with someone and to depend on that person to be trustworthy and reliable and to have your best interests at heart, not to "depend" on them to do things for you that you as an adult should be able to do for yourself. When that person does do things for you that you can do for yourself out of friendship/caring/love it doesn't make you any less independent for accepting that kind of giving. That person knows that you can do it for yourself but it makes him happy to give you a break and, for example, pick up your laundry or groceries or wait on line to get tickets to a concert you're dying to see. A dependent person expects his/her partner to do these things and acts in a helpless way while the independent person accepts the gift or the favor and knows that it has nothing to do with whether she can do it for herself. I am an independent person - including financially, career, emotionally, etc - I didn't marry my husband because I needed someone to depend on -- and I doubt he would have wanted a wife who married him out of need -- but I am confident enough in my independence to let him do for me at times -- just like I do for him despite his being independent. In my experience women don't intimidate men because they have a career or are independent - they intimidate men if they act in an overly aggressive way (same for men intimidating women) or overly harsh or they intimidate men who are extremely insecure and would be intimidated by most people. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 You won't need to change a thing for the right guy, and who has time for the wrong ones? In your corner. Link to comment
servedcold Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I don't know many men these days who are put off by independent women, let alone intimidated by them. If you aren't happy with how often you are being approached, it likely has more to do with your social environment than your level of independence. Link to comment
sbux_addict Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 The fact that you're asking this question makes me think that you're not as independent as you think you are. I think an independent woman is someone who is comfortable in their own skin and doesn't think she needs to change for anyone or for her to get dates from men. JMHO. Link to comment
maverick554 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I don't know why guys would be intimidated by a "ms. independent." My ex-gf was exactly that, and made more than twice the amount of money I did and that was something that I always like about her. I will admit there were times when we were together that I was worried she was going to leave me and take off with someone who had a better career and made more money, but I don't think that had anything to do with her success, and any guy has those fears reguardless of how much money their girl makes. Only reason I mention that is because I was just finishing up my degree at the time and still working at the same crappy job I had been at all through college. But if you are having a problem with it, I would say when you are talking to a guy who you like try not to mention money, just be flirty and show a genuine interest in him, and if he truly is intimidated, than he probably isn't worth it, and its his loss. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Be the exact opposite until you can find an inbetween. Go out, meet people....Have a few one-night stands (safely)....& act clingy... Until you can find your sensitive side and open up.... Don't know if this is the advice you want to hear??? But I've seen it done before. Omg....dont do this. There is such a thing as being TOO independent. Men still need to feel needed and when women are too independent they have the mentality they dont need a man. They can do everything themselves. I involve them in minor (or large) decisions, ask for advice, and ask for help when needed. This way I am creating a sense of need for him without being needy. I heard from men this is the best way to remain independent while making a man feel needed. Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I didn;t read all the post but if a guy is intimadated by you being Independent then thats not the kinda guy u need in your life. Those are signs of the needness and insecurity and as in inpendent woman thats the last thing you need in your life someone slowing you down and tyring to change you instead of embracing you and complimenting you as a partner Link to comment
Qut81 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I didn;t read all the post but if a guy is intimadated by you being Independent then thats not the kinda guy u need in your life. Those are signs of the needness and insecurity and as in inpendent woman thats the last thing you need in your life someone slowing you down and tyring to change you instead of embracing you and complimenting you as a partner I am not talking about a controlling or insecure man. There are still a lot of ppl who believe in traditional male and female roles. These are the type of guys that would be turned off by a women who is too independent. I have spoken to several guys most men need to feel needed in a relationship. For me, I want a strong traditional man that is the head of the household. Therefore, I am not going to hurt his ego by being more independent than he is. I hope I am explaining it right. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Guys, it seems, like independence. I think what some guys object to is an overly confident, cocky, or aggressive woman. I would take care not to tell a guy that "I'm independent." Rather, just be that - subtle and understated while you take care of your personal business. Guys want a woman who can stand on her own, not someone who's going to knock them over. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 i actually prefer independent women. Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Yes a man needs to feel needed i understand about tradtional roles and all that yes the man can still be that ROCK in the relationship w/o having to make more money than his SO. Maybe cause im younger well mid 20's i would be able to handle being with an woman thats indepentdent what im trying to get accross if for any woman that is indepdent not to ever feel bad or change because your too driven, independent, ect...Im very independent and confident so having a woman like that would just be perfect for me someone to be there for me and understand the "hustle and drive"... Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I would think that being truly independent would mean that you would have to realize that when you have higher standards for the men that you choose to date that you are excluding a higher percentage of the population. Of course this assume the fact that men are interested in you in the first place. There are many factors that play into a guy wanting to have a relationship with a girl and it would be inaccurate to believe that independence alone is the factor that keeps an independent girl lonely. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 what's so intimidating about being independent? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.