I have messed up

[Straightj06]

For a few months now a close friend of my girlfriend of 2 years has been sending her dodgey texts, touching her a bit too friendly, and just generally being too close. Also friends have been telling me stuff about him i didnt like.

 

I asked her about this and she said she has told him that she is with me and that he has no chance. I have also warned him that i dont like it. I trust her though and she has told me to leave it.

 

Her parents and his parents are good friends too.

 

Last night i lost it and attacked this guy. I have totally shattered our relationship, i am in the wrong. I feel so bad. It was totally out of character. I have never in my life hit somebody. But i dont know what came over me.

 

I cant believe what i have done and dont know what to do to make things better. I have said sorry to him and i know its un acceptable. But i have a bad feeling this could come between me and my girlfriend. She wont talk to me, and is very hostile towards me which is understandable but i dont know what to do to make things better.

 

I told her i will do anything, poured my heart out to her and now im stuck in limbo. Its totally my fault and i deserve it. I cant lose her, we have been through way way too much.

 

Any advice or ideas?

 

I wont be sleeping tonight.

 

Thanks

[pumpkinmoon]

I think all you can do is give it some time and her some space to cool off and let it all die down.

 

If she wont talk to you right now and you keep trying it is only going to irritate her.

[yumicecream]

I think he was trying to move in on her. Its up to her to handle it. If I were you, I would have watched her to see what kind of woman/wife she would be. Also, I would tell her that if she respected you to cut off contact, honestly. I wouldn't have even bothered with the guy as he has nothing to do with the relationship.Right now, you've apologized and ther eis nothing more that you can do. Honestly, if she is mad at you and decides to magically choose him and this is her excuse, you're better off. I say just tell her you're there if she wants you. If she wants you, she'll come to you. Don't beg, don't whine, be a man and go on living your life. It will eventually cometosurface: the result.

[HouseKitten]

Also, I would tell her that if she respected you to cut off contact, honestly. I wouldn't have even bothered with the guy as he has nothing to do with the relationship.

 

It's rarely as black and white as 'well I don't like him therefore you must never see him again'. Chances are she may have known him longer than her bf and even if they are a little too close, if they're friends then they have a history he's not part of. And cutting someone out can be quite difficult even when you want to - they probably have a mutual friendship group.

 

To the OP - You went a little too far, chances are she's angry and upset and probably unsure who's side to take. Give her some space but make sure she knows how sorry you are and how much you want to sort it out. At least you have apologised to her friends, that's a good start.

[agent1607307371]

Her parents and his parents are good friends too.

 

And this is going to have a massive effect on the outcome.

 

Why did you attack him?

[annie24]

I think he was trying to move in on her. Its up to her to handle it. If I were you, I would have watched her to see what kind of woman/wife she would be. Also, I would tell her that if she respected you to cut off contact, honestly. I wouldn't have even bothered with the guy as he has nothing to do with the relationship.Right now, you've apologized and ther eis nothing more that you can do. Honestly, if she is mad at you and decides to magically choose him and this is her excuse, you're better off. I say just tell her you're there if she wants you. If she wants you, she'll come to you. Don't beg, don't whine, be a man and go on living your life. It will eventually cometosurface: the result.

 

yes, i agree. i think it was her place to tell him to back off. but maybe since she wouldn't, she has a poor sense of boundaries?