I Don't Buy It!!!

[ResonanceTheory]

A few months ago, I started working out after trying out for girl's rugby and not being able to keep up with girls that I saw as "hefty". These "big" girls put my through my paces. And though I, too, was just this side of overweight, I was leaner than they--but they put me to shame! So, as a result, I hit the gym, started running to build stamina, and lifting weights to build and tone muscle. While I've lost some weight and gained a good amount of muscle, I feel good enough to come back here and say--I don't buy it!

 

And by "it", I mean what society tells us is the beautiful and ideal woman. No, I'm not asking for a conversation relating personal preferences or what society considers the perfect waist-to-hip ratio. To me, those things all seem like a promulgation of new and arbitrary standards upon the human psyche. Ridiculous! Why should I believe that a woman who weighs 100 pounds and is 5'7 is the ideal?

 

All society's standards do is force a false standard on women, causing anxiety and depression, forcing them onto fad diets and binges of the next whatever will make you "skinny". What is skinny? How arbitrary! What is "normal"? What is "average"?

 

Every body is different, with different capabilities and different limits. If people understood that, maybe they'd be more inclined to engage in sports or physical activity. There wouldn't be so much pressure. Maybe people would love their bodies. Maybe they would see it for what it was--the vessel that carries them through their lives--instead of just a tool to attract a mate or a clothes hanger for the newest fashions.

 

Why isn't my body ideal because it's got jiggles here and there, a bit of extra chub around the thighs? Because it's ideal for me! Because it does what it's supposed to and more.

 

*end rant*

[paintedfish]

*claps* I like.

 

I tried rugby, and as a 5'3'' 110lbs girl, I held my own as best I could. I just couldn't stand the rules, so I went back to soccer.

[MollyElise]

I totally agree with you.

 

I was floored and surprised when watching a show from India the other day a woman that would be considered obese and unhealthy in the US very proudly said something along the lines of "I am 50 years old and look how healthy and strong I am!" in her circle being hefty is a sign of health.

 

I think that skinny may have become beautiful around the same time as the invention of film, I'm sure there are some correlations there.

[ghost69]

i hate what society places on women too. i just love fit girls. got some muscle? awesome. not skinny minnie in a designer dress? awesome. a lot of the times fashion makes girls nuts in the perspective of how to look. it's what sells though.

[Lamprey]

Good points - an ideal body doesn't exist. If I were to guess, what people are attracted to is not a body type but what that body type represents.

 

- During renaissance in Europe, people didn't have enough to eat and therefore large women were in vogue because being fat meant you had food to spare. And so men were attracted to that.

- 19th century Europe, men were attracted to pale-skinned women. Being pale and untanned meant you were wealthy enough to not have to work outside; fashionable women carried those sun umbrellas everywhere so they'd stay pale.

- Nowadays in western society, everyone has enough to eat. But cheap food is often fattening (e.g.: McDonald's) and so many poor folks are overweight, while the wealthier folks can afford better quality, 'healthy' food and gym memberships. This is why, I think, most western men are attracted to slim women - it implies being healthier & wealthier than others.

- Men are also attracted to younger women over older ones, which I think is genetic (younger women are more likely to produce offspring). Most girls start out slim and only later "let themselves go" since as metabolisms slow down, more effort is required to look good and many don't put it in. Therefore slim bodies look younger.

 

Anyway, while I do agree with you that there's no reason for women to kill themselves trying to lose weight if they don't want to, I do understand their reasons. Being attractive to a greater percentage of the opposite sex means more choices for a mate, which is perfectly normal to want. And while there will always be people advocating that people just learn to like themselves instead, my pragmatic question is: what's easier, changing the way you look or changing the way the majority of population thinks?

 

This works both ways, by the way: gyms are filled with guys and companies that make wigs are making money hand over fist I'm sure there are tons of balding men out there who wish women would cease finding balding unattractive and who just want to love themselves the way they are, but...

[Lamprey]

Good points - an ideal body doesn't exist. If I were to guess, what people are attracted to is not a body type but what that body type represents.

 

- During renaissance in Europe, people didn't have enough to eat and therefore large women were in vogue because being fat meant you had food to spare. And so men were attracted to that.

- 19th century Europe, men were attracted to pale-skinned women. Being pale and untanned meant you were wealthy enough to not have to work outside; fashionable women carried those sun umbrellas everywhere so they'd stay pale.

- Nowadays in western society, everyone has enough to eat. But cheap food is often fattening (e.g.: McDonald's) and so many poor folks are overweight, while the wealthier folks can afford better quality, 'healthy' food and gym memberships. This is why, I think, most western men are attracted to slim women - it implies being healthier & wealthier than others.

- Men are also attracted to younger women over older ones, which I think is genetic (younger women are more likely to produce offspring). Most girls start out slim and only later "let themselves go" since as metabolisms slow down, more effort is required to look good and many don't put it in. Therefore slim bodies look younger.

 

Anyway, while I do agree with you that there's no reason for women to kill themselves trying to lose weight if they don't want to, I do understand their reasons. Being attractive to a greater percentage of the opposite sex means more choices for a mate, which is perfectly normal to want. And while there will always be people advocating that people just learn to like themselves instead, my pragmatic question is: what's easier, changing the way you look or changing the way the majority of population thinks?

 

This works both ways, by the way: gyms are filled with guys and companies that make wigs are making money hand over fist I'm sure there are tons of balding men out there who wish women would cease finding balding unattractive and who just want to love themselves the way they are, but...

[OrangeMoon]

actually the love for the plump, fat, big whatever body is actually more common than the love for the skinny body. It is just that western societies, media, films and advertising have created a world in which we believe that the love for 'the skinny" is dominant. But in many civilizations accross the world..the plumper body is loved more often..south america, africa, asia, middle east

 

but if you live in the midst of a Western culture beauty and skinny is perceived to be the norm..and so they act on it.

 

It is sad..maybe one day we will reach a point where that stuff wont matter...(haha NOT)..

 

It will always matter unfortunately..so let's just accept it.

[OrangeMoon]

actually the love for the plump, fat, big whatever body is actually more common than the love for the skinny body. It is just that western societies, media, films and advertising have created a world in which we believe that the love for 'the skinny" is dominant. But in many civilizations accross the world..the plumper body is loved more often..south america, africa, asia, middle east

 

but if you live in the midst of a Western culture beauty and skinny is perceived to be the norm..and so they act on it.

 

It is sad..maybe one day we will reach a point where that stuff wont matter...(haha NOT)..

 

It will always matter unfortunately..so let's just accept it.