velvette Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 am I right to be mad at how my boyfriend is treating me, or is he in his right? yesterday, we hadn't seen each other all day. finally we get home, and things are looking up since we both weren't too tired. we started fooling around in bed, and meanwhile I was asking him questions, stuff I've just been thinking about throughout the day. (ie I was listening to "I kissed a girl and I liked it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it", and then I just wondered if MY bf would mind heh) he got really mad, said I didn't respect 'talking time', said he never wants to talk to me when we're doing stuff, said what the * * * * was wrong with me. that was some strong language, so I was pretty upset and left for my own room. he refused to apologize because he says it's his right to be mad too. he doesn't have to apologize for being mad, but for using strong language. I would never say 'what the * * * * is wrong with you!' if someone was asking me little questions, even if I thought it was annoying. ESPECIALLY if that someone was really close to me, like a boyfriend or best friend. I get that he just wants to concentrate on 'doing stuff', but we don't have talking time anyway. there's no way we'd be talking afterwards, as he'd just be too tired. and I can't believe he asked me 'so can we get on with it' when I was clearly offended and upset, and he wouldn't allow me to have blankets even though I was cold and naked. when I said 'I don't know, I don't want to say yes just because I feel threatened by you', he was like UGH. he would have never treated me in such a way even a year ago. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I don't want to change him, but he's changed himself. some changes are good, but these changes are clearly bad. swearing at me? openly being rude and expecting to get away with it (no apologies, making me feel guilty for leaving the room), finding me annoying?? guys, is this normal? Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 What the *** os wrong with ... him?! Asking what you asked (the song thing) was rather playful IMO and i wouldn't consider it "talk time" (you're not setting wedding date or something) but sorta part of foreplay! Link to comment
velvette Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 he says it forces him to think in a stressful way. also, just remembered, he joked about 'putting it in' even though we didn't have condoms about, said he's gonna 'get me pregnant' etc. so I was like, wait what if I do get pregnant (I wasn't 100% sure he was joking)? and he said, abortion! this threw me, since all the times before he seemed more keen than me to have kids (I hate babies). so then I said, I'm all for pro-choice, but I don't think personally I'd be able to stand the guilt (even if I dislike babies, I dunno how I'd feel about killing one in my stomach). I think that conversation is what really set him off, although he did refer to the girl-kissing question as being unacceptably annoying as well. I didn't ask him any of the questions as part of foreplay, it was just to satisfy my own curiosity, learn a bit more about him and how he'd react under different situations. but I guess you can never know a person, as I've asked him so many questions and yet never would've guessed him to react the way he did. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Relationship is not only about having sex but also having conversation. Perfect if you can handle both at the same time, if you refuse one for the sake of another that is a problem. I hope he was joking about the pregnancy stuff, sometimes you just talk BS when you're horny. But you had all the right to be upset, he was inconsiderate and then using strong language was blown out of proportion. Link to comment
KG Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 It sounds as if he was going out of his way to be a jerk to you. Link to comment
KG Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 It sounds as if he was going out of his way to be a jerk to you. Link to comment
Lamprey Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 He's a douche. I can't imagine reacting that way to something my girl said, especially something said half jokingly. Don't let him off the hook on this one Link to comment
Lamprey Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 He's a douche. I can't imagine reacting that way to something my girl said, especially something said half jokingly. Don't let him off the hook on this one Link to comment
velvette Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 he just came in this morning, lied down in my bed (I was up at my computer), and asked to talk. so I went to him, he hugged me. I asked him what, and he hemmed and hawed and finally apologized for being rude. hahaha. he says he's bad at multi-tasking. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.