Split with girlfriend :(

[everton1878]

Been together 3 years, lived together for 2 and 1/2 years. The last 6 months we have been living apart because of problems. We have been going to couples couselling in that time, and I thought we were making inroads and could think about moving back in together.

 

Then 2 weeks ago somthing changed. She suddenly became more distant, said she had work stresses and all that. She came down last weekend and on the sunday before she went I asked her about it all. Basically she said sorry and that she hadn't been putting enough into the relationship. She went home then. I called her in the week and she then said the spark had gone for her, there was no way of resolving things, and that it was over. I'm very miffed, I love this girl very much and thought this would be a lifetime thing, marraige etc. Am I right to be angry at her not even wanting to try and resolve things, and even worse for basically splitting up over phone and text? I'm not good on the phone and would rather it been in person, so I could ask the questions and get my own closure.

[ghost69]

sounds like she met someone based on those signs.

[jsx730]

Yea, I agree with Ghost69. I'd be willing to bet a fair amount of money that she's met someone.

[CallingAllAngels]

I'm with the others.....I bet there is someone else.

[CallingAllAngels]

I'm with the others.....I bet there is someone else.

[everton1878]

I did ask her that on text a few days ago. She replied

 

"I have always been honest with you and I wont alter now. I am not now or have ever seen anyone else. I'm not that person. I loved you and am faithful. It's just gone between us and I have no plans to start seeing anyone else."

[everton1878]

I did ask her that on text a few days ago. She replied

 

"I have always been honest with you and I wont alter now. I am not now or have ever seen anyone else. I'm not that person. I loved you and am faithful. It's just gone between us and I have no plans to start seeing anyone else."

[CallingAllAngels]

I did ask her that on text a few days ago. She replied

 

"I have always been honest with you and I wont alter now. I am not now or have ever seen anyone else. I'm not that person. I loved you and am faithful. It's just gone between us and I have no plans to start seeing anyone else."

 

Actions speak louder than words. Wait and see how soon she's dating someone else. Just my opinion.

[CallingAllAngels]

I did ask her that on text a few days ago. She replied

 

"I have always been honest with you and I wont alter now. I am not now or have ever seen anyone else. I'm not that person. I loved you and am faithful. It's just gone between us and I have no plans to start seeing anyone else."

 

Actions speak louder than words. Wait and see how soon she's dating someone else. Just my opinion.

[everton1878]

I guess so, but it's tearing me up. I'm really not handling it well at all, drrinking etc. Feel like * * * * .

[everton1878]

I guess so, but it's tearing me up. I'm really not handling it well at all, drrinking etc. Feel like * * * * .

[CallingAllAngels]

I guess so, but it's tearing me up. I'm really not handling it well at all, drrinking etc. Feel like * * * * .

 

I'm sorry. We are not responsible for the actions of others. Only OUR REACTION to them.

 

My best to you.......

[CallingAllAngels]

I guess so, but it's tearing me up. I'm really not handling it well at all, drrinking etc. Feel like * * * * .

 

I'm sorry. We are not responsible for the actions of others. Only OUR REACTION to them.

 

My best to you.......

[ghost69]

I guess so, but it's tearing me up. I'm really not handling it well at all, drrinking etc. Feel like * * * * .

 

i feel ya man. i felt like my heart left my body when an ex just broke up with me out of nowhere after about 3 years. so i had the same situation as you. i was really depressed for a while. we ended up getting back together after a month. i think i smothered her a bit and she wanted space. weird though as she wanted me to stay over every night. not even my doing, it was just routine for us. but, in the end i broke it off with her. we became different people. and yep, i did it out of nowhere. no, i wasn't seeing anyone else. so it can be for just that reason.

 

with the signs you gave though, i don't see that. just sayin. you will get over it though. people suck sometimes.

[ghost69]

I guess so, but it's tearing me up. I'm really not handling it well at all, drrinking etc. Feel like * * * * .

 

i feel ya man. i felt like my heart left my body when an ex just broke up with me out of nowhere after about 3 years. so i had the same situation as you. i was really depressed for a while. we ended up getting back together after a month. i think i smothered her a bit and she wanted space. weird though as she wanted me to stay over every night. not even my doing, it was just routine for us. but, in the end i broke it off with her. we became different people. and yep, i did it out of nowhere. no, i wasn't seeing anyone else. so it can be for just that reason.

 

with the signs you gave though, i don't see that. just sayin. you will get over it though. people suck sometimes.

[everton1878]

Can't really see a way out og this black hole atm though. People can be so infuriating.

[stingray]

I know theres NOTHING anyone can say or do to make you feel better and uplift you from your misery. I was in that position for a whole 2 years before someone kicked me off my feet. Only then was the pain finally washed away for me but the scars still remain. Just thought having you know someone else has been through it might help. BTW we also split without any notice in fact I wasn't even told we were splitting she just stopped contact completely without a reason.

[everton1878]

* * * ? That would have driven me insane, I would have hunted her down and demanded answers. 2 years of pain and never knowing why. I dont know how you did it.

[havefaith]

This might not be helpful advice, but right now the wound is fresh. You're sad, pissed, terrified, disbelieving. You feel like hell. Unfortunately, the best thing you may be able to do for yourself is to feel it. Ride it out. Feel like trash. You won't believe it, but it will pass.

 

It WILL pass. You won't believe how you'll grow. And you'll be better for it.

[jsudz2430]

I was in a situation like that a few years ago. I was dating a girl for about 6 months or so. One nite she was out with friends and I called her to see what she was doing. One of her friends answered the phone and I asked to talk to her. Her friend quickly spit out " She doesn't want a boyfriend right now " and hung up....I was very confused lol. A few days later I found out that she was trying to get with another guy who she found out wanted nothing to do with her...she didn't know I knew about it all and she tried to get back with me. Wasn't happening lol. But yes she did "find" someone else and it happened in a few seconds. It was an experience lol.

[everton1878]

It might feel a bit pathetic to say it, but I just want things back the way things were. They were really good, and her saying that there is no way to fix it, well I just feel rotten and want things back the way they were.

 

Anybody think there could be any chance given a little time?

[DeviousDevil]

Anybody think there could be any chance given a little time?

 

Who knows, you know the situation better than any of us. But, the fact you guys couldn't communicate your problems is indicative that you guys weren't a perfect match.

 

When I went through my experience of this, my parents were very good by saying to me "Why would you want to be with someone that made you feel this bad".

 

Take time to heal, improve yourself and if she comes back, she comes back and you can decide if you want to risk being with her again. Otherwise, find someone bettersuited, that will make the effort in a relationship and will talk to you went they're having problems with a view to resolving them. There is so much talking that doesn't actually get you anywhere. I certainly learnt that with my last relationship that although we talked alot, we didn't communicate effective what needed to be communicated.

[pinkrobot]

It might feel a bit pathetic to say it, but I just want things back the way things were. They were really good, and her saying that there is no way to fix it, well I just feel rotten and want things back the way they were.

 

Anybody think there could be any chance given a little time?

 

There's a chance of resolving things and trying to start new, yes. But you need to realize that it's highly unlikely things will EVER be "the way they were." So much has been damaged at this point it's hard to permanently repair it all.

 

But I also have to agree that it sounds like she met someone else. When my last ex broke up with me, I asked if he cheated and he swore he'd never do such a thing. Two weeks later he was engaged to the girl he had, in fact, cheated on me with. So even if you trust her, don't assume that she's telling you the whole truth about this breakup (as much as you really want to).

[stingray]

* * * ? That would have driven me insane, I would have hunted her down and demanded answers. 2 years of pain and never knowing why. I dont know how you did it.

Still no explanation and we have regained contact and we talk everyday now. Actually, her cousin asked her and she gave some bull * * * * like we had a fight. The reality is there was NO FIGHT! I don't bother pushing cause she will just leave again.