Xplode Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 i just put my sim card into my spare phone. and i realised its the phone my ex used for 6 months. wow i was a * * * * * ... some messages i would threaten the relationship, if i wasnt happy with things. just stupid stupid decisions and comments. and after 32 days, NC i have come to the conclusion it was MORE my fault.. and she is right? wth.... what do i do... do i call or what? Link to comment
Xplode Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 i just put my sim card into my spare phone. and i realised its the phone my ex used for 6 months. wow i was a * * * * * ... some messages i would threaten the relationship, if i wasnt happy with things. just stupid stupid decisions and comments. and after 32 days, NC i have come to the conclusion it was MORE my fault.. and she is right? wth.... what do i do... do i call or what? Link to comment
tushboy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 what will you call and say ? YOu've been in NC over a month which is fab, I suggest just carry on walking ahead... Link to comment
tushboy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 what will you call and say ? YOu've been in NC over a month which is fab, I suggest just carry on walking ahead... Link to comment
Xplode Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 thats what i thought? but i have missed her for so long.. and i keep telling myself its for the best.. but deep down.. now its been my fault.. and its me that could change it? is that not worth fighting for? Link to comment
Xplode Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 thats what i thought? but i have missed her for so long.. and i keep telling myself its for the best.. but deep down.. now its been my fault.. and its me that could change it? is that not worth fighting for? Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 This is a good start but far from a resolution. You need to use this to learn why you did/said those things to her. Continue NC and grow and learn about yourself. If one day you want to write her a letter and apoligize you can but only do it with the best of intentions. Don't do it to relieve your guilt or try and get her back, do it to let her know it wasn't her but you that had a problem and she shouldn't feel badly about the way things ended. be honest with yourself and all the answers will show themselves......... lost Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 This is a good start but far from a resolution. You need to use this to learn why you did/said those things to her. Continue NC and grow and learn about yourself. If one day you want to write her a letter and apoligize you can but only do it with the best of intentions. Don't do it to relieve your guilt or try and get her back, do it to let her know it wasn't her but you that had a problem and she shouldn't feel badly about the way things ended. be honest with yourself and all the answers will show themselves......... lost Link to comment
Growl1971 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 my ex did alot of the things that you did via phone....ill advised messages, 'crisis' mode type things... first off..DO NOT use your phone to TEXT things about a relationship..it's adolescent, impersonal, and just plain immature. be a man, directly communicate with her in person...eye to eye...in a non-threatening way. gosh, i sometimes hate technology. but as for what has happened? don't you think she ALREADY knows what you're thinking? she was the recipient of it! and NC has allowed her to review this as much as you have. let it be. learn from your mistakes. Link to comment
Growl1971 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 my ex did alot of the things that you did via phone....ill advised messages, 'crisis' mode type things... first off..DO NOT use your phone to TEXT things about a relationship..it's adolescent, impersonal, and just plain immature. be a man, directly communicate with her in person...eye to eye...in a non-threatening way. gosh, i sometimes hate technology. but as for what has happened? don't you think she ALREADY knows what you're thinking? she was the recipient of it! and NC has allowed her to review this as much as you have. let it be. learn from your mistakes. Link to comment
tushboy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 thats what i thought? but i have missed her for so long.. and i keep telling myself its for the best.. but deep down.. now its been my fault.. and its me that could change it? is that not worth fighting for? I have been in your shoes, threatened my ex with multiple breakups, sent some nasty messages, drove him to the point where he ended it. But you have to think about the reasons why you did it ? For me it was his constant blocking me out and lying and cheating on me which got the worst of me out. I think you need to forgive yourself, you need to be soft on yourself, and move on. Calling her up and apologising is really going to be a huge set back at this moment. It's not like you broke up a week back, there has been a considerable gap. Maybe in the future you could write a letter or if you bump into her extend an apology. But not now. Link to comment
tushboy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 thats what i thought? but i have missed her for so long.. and i keep telling myself its for the best.. but deep down.. now its been my fault.. and its me that could change it? is that not worth fighting for? I have been in your shoes, threatened my ex with multiple breakups, sent some nasty messages, drove him to the point where he ended it. But you have to think about the reasons why you did it ? For me it was his constant blocking me out and lying and cheating on me which got the worst of me out. I think you need to forgive yourself, you need to be soft on yourself, and move on. Calling her up and apologising is really going to be a huge set back at this moment. It's not like you broke up a week back, there has been a considerable gap. Maybe in the future you could write a letter or if you bump into her extend an apology. But not now. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 No, just do better next time. The damage is already done. Link to comment
Qut81 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 No, just do better next time. The damage is already done. Link to comment
Xplode Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 ok guys advice please. its been 33 days NC, and i still miss her like crazy. she called for the break i want her back still havnt heard from her once i asked her not to contact me cause it would hurt me more. how should i start contacting her? Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 what do you want to achieve out of contacting her? are you on a break or properly broken up? If you were on a break, I don't see why you shouldn't call her and have a heart-to-heart talk about all the things u realised you did wrong and how u want to make it work, etc.. but don't come on too strong. If you're broken up and want to get back together, I'd say give it a bit more time.. If you just want to apologise and move on, why not do it now? Link to comment
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