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its over, rejected not worth going on


canis-lupis

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OK so she told me for the 3rd time today to just go back to the mainland

she wont evn acknowledge that I have made important changes for her

hell she wont even spend time with me to see if there have been changes

I just dont want to go on without her

she wont even tell me to my face its over only by text or instant messenger

she says it is because she didnt think i would make it back in one piece

but she had text everyone else to tell me but they dont want to clear her mess up.

I have gone beyond suicidal, now it is just me in a cold dark place waiting to figure out a plan , I see nothing ahead of me

I have to make a 300 mile drive soon and dont have the concentration needed but have no choice

I have to leave the island soon

Just wish there was someone to talk to that could understand

 

I just know that I really dont want to go on living anymore , I gave up my house , job and everything to be with her to prove myself & she cant even bring herself to see me . I have nothing anymore oh yes I have my health but dont want it, please forgive the rant but just lost sight of all purpose and self worth is worth less than the icelandic banking system.

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uhm, my advice to you is never sacrifice that much for anyone else. i don't care how much 'love' there is between the two of you. people are selfish. end of story.

She is the light in my eternal darkness

She is the entire reason for my existence

without her I am nothing

I dont want to be anything without her

 

she is or rather was my entire reason to go on.

I see nothing without her

 

just dont even know if anyone can understand how deeply set feelings can be in a person

 

She is physically a part of me & it feels as if a part of me has been amputated

 

I miss her that much

 

does anybody understand ?

can anybody relate to this ?

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