need ideas on how to open up and trust again?

[canali]

Maybe my problem is simply that I have not yet "healed" enough in getting my power and confidence back?....

 

this particular breakup has thrown me on my ass such that I am considering staying single for another 4 to 6 months (we broke up last Sept after 2 years together)...some of my friends say to take my time heal get stronger as I am doing... while others say to get back in the saddle and stop feeling sorry for myself...

 

I am not trying to feel sorry for myself...instead i just want to have a wider social network (ie. I have only 2 to 3 good friends as most are back East where I originate) so if things do again go to hell I won't get so emotionally flattened via a larger social network for both support and diversion...plus what is wrong with trying to get ones confidence back ie ive quit drinking am losing weight paying off debts etc..(all that said I DO realize there is a lot of unnecessary fear in me I realize upon reading that last sentence!) ....yeah I know: all this time healing doesn't mean I will be prevented from falling on my ass again ( * * * * that scares me)....

 

anyone else relate to my ambivalance? And from those healed and ready to do battle again your tips and thoughts?

[uj2004]

I still feel like she was it...she was my first and only girlfriend, and Im nearly 30, so it feels kind of hopeless. I dont attract girls successfully, she was just a lucky break in a life otherwise full of singledom. She was actually a good catch too, I swear it must be easier if your ex if kind of ugly or fat, as shallow as that sounds.

 

Im not the type to settle, if there isn't a physical attraction, I am not interested.

[cruzer]

I dont know of any tips on how to do it, other than just do it.

 

reasons to just open up and trust again:

as you said, the longer you wait, healing or whatever, will not prevent it from happening again.

not all females are like your ex(s), some are good

you want to be in love again, in order for that to happen u have to open up and trust again.

i believe everyone needs to heal after a breakup, but the longer you wait the more missed people and opportunities.

 

Im not one to think positively, but to me this is just logic because you want love, but u cant have it with all these walls =/

[ellandroader]

Become a taller man and a bigger person, for you will be able to see over the walls you have placed.

 

In doing that, you need to discover your love for life and your purpose in it. Your confidence will return when you do things you enjoy, make yourself feel better and thus will exude from you to others.

 

As opening up, I think that will be easier in time when you realise what you are missing. Don't put any timescale on it, don't go doing anything daft like casual fllirtations, they won't solve the issues in the long run.

[Struggling23]

I'm only 23 buy I've ben through my ex fiancé of 3 years cheating and leaving me, took me months to just able to function normally then my closest female friend and I gf close we dated and she dumped me and now I'm a wreck again. Now I'm done with relationships for a long long time, I have to many scars to go back into battle and for what love?

[Struggling23]

I'm only 23 buy I've ben through my ex fiancé of 3 years cheating and leaving me, took me months to just able to function normally then my closest female friend and I gf close we dated and she dumped me and now I'm a wreck again. Now I'm done with relationships for a long long time, I have to many scars to go back into battle and for what love?