Do you think people tell you the truth?

[Goldilocks]

Do you think people tell you the truth?

 

I find I often don’t believe people when they say nice things because I think... well what else are they going to say?

 

Example

Your friend has gained weight and is really upset about it. You’re not going to tell her she looked better when she weighed less are you, your going to say something like she has pretty features anyway, or something positive to make her feel better. How often do you spent time telling someone they are fabulous focusing on there killer figure while not mentioning there big nose and bad skin?

 

So that’s my point. How can you trust others opinions when it differs from yours? Say you feel like a loser, unattractive etc

 

You know/ feel you weigh too much but others tell you that you’re looking fantastic. Who do you trust?

 

Do we ever really tell people the harsh truth, considering its a lot less painful to keep them wondering if they are wrong.

[browneyedgirl36]

Good question. Generally, when people say nice things, I believe that they are sincere. I would like to think that MOST people don't give compliments unless they mean them.

 

I know I have had days where I felt frumpy or unattractive, or I didn't like what I was wearing or how my hair looked-- and someone said something complimentary (entirely unsolicited by me -- they just came up and said "I love your outfit!" or something like that) and I found myself re-thinking things. Did I REALLY look frumpy, or was I just feeling down on myself that day? In most cases, no matter how well we think we know ourselves, we are often much harder on ourselves than others are, so even if we think we look really bad on a particular day, we may not really look bad at all, and when others compliment us, they might really think we look great.

 

There are, however, some people who are constantly complimenting others, and they do it so often that it seems exaggerated and/or disingenuous. I have encountered these people, and I've suspected they were just complimenting me to kiss my butt and get in good with me for some reason. For the most part, though, I believe that people don't give unsolicited compliments unless they really mean them. I know I don't. I only compliment people when I really feel there is something to compliment. If a friend looks bad, I don't say anything. If she got a weird haircut, I say nothing. If her outfit is ugly, I say nothing. If she asks my opinion, though, I WILL say what I think, but I try to be tactful about it ("Well, you look a bit tired today" or "I really like the outfit you had on the other day better").

[miracle29]

I don't know about everyone but in my lifes experience I feel that its best to surround yourself by as many brutally honest friends as possible. Some people will tell you the truth no matter how it sounds. I LOVE THOSE people. Those are the people who will be there for you faster than the Sugar Coaters. The scary part is...its very hard to know who's sugar coating when everyone is swearing that they tell the truth. LOL. Tricky right?

 

I don't think everyone lies to everyone, but I do believe that everyone has lied to someone. Lets just hope whomever you're with has already gotten that out of their system.

[browneyedgirl36]

I don't know about everyone but in my lifes experience I feel that its best to surround yourself by as many brutally honest friends as possible. Some people will tell you the truth no matter how it sounds. I LOVE THOSE people. Those are the people who will be there for you faster than the Sugar Coaters. The scary part is...its very hard to know who's sugar coating when everyone is swearing that they tell the truth. LOL. Tricky right?

 

I don't think everyone lies to everyone, but I do believe that everyone has lied to someone. Lets just hope whomever you're with has already gotten that out of their system.

 

Good points. I tell the truth IF people ask. I don't generally just volunteer that I think their hair looks bad or their outfit looks ridiculous, but if they ask, I will tell them (tactfully) what I think. I'd much rather be around people who tell the truth rather than people who heap on the false compliments, for sure.

[miracle29]

Good points. I tell the truth IF people ask. I don't generally just volunteer that I think their hair looks bad or their outfit looks ridiculous, but if they ask, I will tell them (tactfully) what I think. I'd much rather be around people who tell the truth rather than people who heap on the false compliments, for sure.

 

 

 

Yes I forgot the "Tactfull" part. You can say almost anything to someone if you say it tactfully! I agree 100%

[purpleduckie]

I have this stupid habit of giving my opinions even when I'm not asked. I often have good things to say, but it makes me seem disingenuous... but if I have something bad to say, I rarely say it - UNLESS it's a close friend or if it's asked.

 

 

I don't trust people when they compliment me, not that they're being evil and conspiring against me kind of way lol but that they're just being nice or i plainly don't trust their taste. I just get all squeamish and weird, but that's due to self esteem issues.

[NightLily]

Well, I know it can't be everybody because I am a very honest person. The problem is that even if somebody asks and you try to be diplomatic about it, a lot of people just can't take it. They aren't used to people shooting so straight. But then, others will see it and right away become interested in getting to know you just because of your open honesty.

[sarey]

I think, in general, people do lie... but it's part of life, I mean, you think you don't want to hurt your friend, so you tell her what she wants to hear... it's pretty normal nowadays... however, I know my friends tell me the truth a lot of the time, but sometimes, I do get very paranoid and very untrustworthy and wonder... mostly because this world is poisoned with so much, lies being one of them...

 

The truth hurts, but lies hurt even more.